How to Make People Like You

No one can please everyone, but sometimes you need to be more likable in your social or professional life. You can do it. Use your "social communication skills" to make most people like you. You'll easily become a more likable person when you show interest in others' lives and hobbies!

Smile. The simplest way to make others like you is by offering a genuine smile. People are naturally drawn to happy, cheerful individuals because that positive energy is contagious—they feel at ease around you. A smile is the first (and clearest) sign that you're someone others enjoy being around. Smile, and you'll attract people.

• Remember, if you act as if you're happy, you will feel happier. Don't force a fake smile—others will catch on—but if you're in a bad mood, sometimes pretending to be cheerful can trick your mind and make you feel better.

Make eye contact at a level you're comfortable with. You should do this naturally. Eye contact is one of the easiest ways to show someone you're paying attention to them. Just like when you're watching TV, you look at the screen, right? So, when you're talking to someone, you should do the same.

• Too little eye contact may be seen as rude. Where are you looking? What is distracting you? Why do you feel that the conversation isn't engaging enough to focus on? If this is an issue for you, it's something you need to recognize. That's all you need to change!
• Too much eye contact can make others uncomfortable. You might be perceived as threatening. If you realize you're overdoing it, try shifting your gaze occasionally. While conversing, you can look at your hands, food, or other things—but just briefly look away.

Tilt your head towards the person you're talking to. Scientific research supports this gesture because when you tilt your head, it exposes your neck's arteries, signaling goodwill. Your brain sends signals that the person you're conversing with is not a threat, and you can approach them comfortably.

• Tilt your head to avoid a defensive stance. You should adopt a relaxed posture that conveys friendliness and shows the other person you're focused on them—something everyone appreciates. So, the next time you're unsure about your posture, just lean in slightly. That'll work.

Raise your eyebrows slightly. This is probably one of those non-verbal cues you don’t even realize you're doing. You've likely already done it! A familiar gesture of friendliness (and as always, showing you're not a threat) is to raise your eyebrows slightly—just move them up and down gently and quickly. Generally, you do this when approaching someone from a distance.

• Combine this gesture with a smile, and you'll have a basic strategy for being approachable and warm. However, think of raising your eyebrows as a way to initiate a conversation—not something to do casually, like tilting your head.

Mimic the posture of others. If you notice that you're adopting a similar posture to someone, you may be thinking the same way they are. You might do this subconsciously with people around you without even realizing. Fortunately, you can see this as an advantage! People like others who resemble them, and this is an easy trick to pull off.

• If you're talking to someone and they have a similar posture to you, you'll often feel like they share your thoughts—and that's when you can connect with them (an advantage). Use this when speaking, but don't draw attention to it—if someone notices, it can seem rehearsed and unnatural.

Don’t assert your superiority over others. You may have read books advising you to square your shoulders, lift your chin, and always offer a firm handshake. While these are certainly good tips and effective, in some cases, you may not want to appear too dominant. You should maintain signs of confidence but also show signals that convey "I truly respect you" to keep a balance between both sides.

• No matter who you meet, you should create a slight difference. When meeting someone and about to shake their hand, step forward and bow slightly (like a greeting gesture). Tilt your head, keep an open posture (avoid crossing your arms and legs), and lean slightly to the side. Showing that you're relaxed and interested in others will send out signals that make people like you, regardless of how close you are in the conversation.

Ask people about themselves. It's important to show interest in others. A conversation will be more engaging if someone genuinely cares about what you're saying, right? If during a conversation you find yourself saying things like "I did this, I did that," you should pause. Instead, ask the other person for their opinion. A dialogue requires contributions from both sides!

• It’s always better to speak honestly about what you truly think. People can tell when you’re pretending to be humble. Faking interest in someone you're not really interested in just to gain affection won’t be effective in the long run. Instead, be genuinely interested in others! If a topic is hard to feign interest in, guide the conversation to something else.

Ask for help. This might seem odd if you're not used to asking others for assistance, but it’s a technique known as the "Benjamin Franklin Effect." Essentially, you ask for help, someone helps you, you thank them, and then they like you more. You may think that people only do things for those they like, but that’s not always the case. So next time you need something, don’t hesitate to ask for help!

• The key here is that everyone likes to feel useful, and people enjoy having someone owe them rather than the other way around. It makes them feel capable and important to you, which makes them like you more. However, you shouldn’t ask for too much help—it could make you seem bothersome.

Talk about topics that interest the other person. If you know their hobbies or passions, ask about those! Usually, the person will keep sharing and become friendlier with you! They'll feel like the conversation is engaging as long as you show patience and nod along without interrupting. If you can recall something they casually mentioned, they’ll be even more impressed.

• Take the opportunity to mention their name. Everyone loves hearing their own name. Writer Dale Carnegie once said that for many people, their name is the sweetest sound in any language. A name affirms a person’s identity and makes them feel safer and happier. Bring their name into the conversation when you can.

Become empathetic. It sounds obvious, right? But strangely enough, even though people understand this concept (to some degree), they often fail to act on it. We all tend to focus on me, myself, and I and wait for our turn to talk about ourselves. To appear more likable, focus on understanding others. Show that you care about them.

• Even changing your phrasing can make a difference. Suppose someone is explaining their current problem to you. Your automatic response might be, "I know how you feel." This may seem harmless, right? However, it shifts the attention back to you and your abilities—and the other person may think, "No. You don’t understand." Instead, try a less generic (and thus more meaningful) response, like, "So, you’re feeling X, X, and X." Simply repeating what they’re saying will make them feel heard and comfortable.

Compliment them. This approach seems to almost always work. However, praising someone can sometimes make them uncomfortable (many people don’t know how to accept compliments!) and can even seem like you have ulterior motives (for example, in a relationship). First, don't overthink it. Everyone loves to be praised. Then, make sure to give at least one sincere and timely compliment!

• Make sure your praise is meaningful and appropriate. If someone clearly had a rough night and still looks disheveled from a public restroom floor, don’t tell them how great they look. Offer genuine compliments so that others truly appreciate and accept them.
• Imagine telling a guy you like his tie. That’s nice, but how should he respond? "Thanks, it’s made by children in a faraway workshop, and I have nothing to do with it." Agreeably, he probably won’t answer that way, but you get the point. Compliment his PowerPoint presentation, his sense of humor, something meaningful to him, or something he actually worked on. He will appreciate the acknowledgment.

Show some embarrassment. Around age five and a half, we start realizing that society is watching us 24/7, and some actions will be seen as wrong and scrutinized. Because people can’t stand being under scrutiny, we avoid it as a nuisance. Unfortunately, embarrassing situations happen to everyone, so when we see them happen to others, we feel their pain. And what about the person involved? We end up liking them more.

• Let’s say you see someone’s pants sagging. You’ll automatically react from both sides. The person with sagging pants might laugh (hopefully), blush, joke about it, shake their head, cover their face, or try to continue their day with some dignity. What did they do? They showed you they are human. They’re embarrassed and admit it through their behavior. It’s endearing. They’re being authentic.
• Now, imagine a similar situation with someone else. This time, they stiffen their face, pull up their pants, nod quickly, and continue walking. That probably doesn’t seem graceful. Their behavior doesn’t acknowledge the awkward situation, and there’s nothing to relate to, empathize with, or find cute. You might think they’re not charming at all.

Touch others. The truth is, if you want to feel connected to someone, touch them. Of course, each relationship is different, so you should adapt the level of touch accordingly—but in general, you want to create that bond. Even the slightest touch can make a difference!

• Imagine you’re passing by someone and you say “Hi.” It’s a quick moment, and it feels like you have no time for them. Now, imagine the same situation where you say “Hi” but also lightly touch their shoulder. That’s physical contact! They’ll notice you—and like you.

Help them feel at ease. This one’s pretty clear, right? The main theme of this article is to make others feel comfortable. It’s about the choices you should make. Everyone is a little different, but we all share common traits. We all want attention, happiness, to feel cared for, and to be useful. We like those who give us those feelings.

• It’s best to combine multiple techniques to build rapport. Complimenting, asking for help, or laughing when done in isolation won’t be effective on their own. You need to combine them. If you’re focusing on someone else, be prepared to act—ask questions (attract attention), compliment (praise them), seek advice (make them feel intelligent and important), and show empathy (care about them). When they feel good about themselves, they’ll feel you’re likable.

Spend time with those who help improve your image. Unfortunately, people tend to judge others based on the most obvious signs they see. While not always accurate, it’s an easy and relatively harmless approach. We instantly form an opinion based on outward appearances. If we don’t like what we see, we consider it insignificant. So, when someone is judging you, remember—they are not judging *you* as a person, but your appearance.

• An interesting fact to consider is... you are judged by those around you. If your friends make inappropriate jokes, you risk being lumped in with them, even if you don’t behave the same way. This is especially true on Facebook—if your friends look good, you appear to be good too. While this might not be the fairest thing, it’s the reality.

Dress to impress. There’s a saying, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." That’s absolutely true. You should dress for the image you want others to see, not just based on your feelings or the job you do. People are easily influenced by clothing. "Clothes make the man," right? How many more comparisons do we need?

• A recent study found that wearing branded clothes enhances a person’s status in the eyes of others. It’s not even the quality of the clothes that matters anymore, but the luxury brand. Wearing these brands gives the wearer an air of prestige, making them more likable. While this might not be a reliable (or fair) conclusion, it’s a common perception.

Do something memorable. This one can’t be too specific because anything you do should reflect your personality, but make sure to do “something” that makes you more likable. You’ll be remembered, have a distinct identity (or at least that’s what others think), and people will care about you. "Hey! That’s the guy with the parrot! I like him!" Something like that.

• If you’ve worked in the restaurant industry, you might have a story related to this. You can probably think of a customer who always left a $2 tip when paying. After a couple of visits, the staff would always want to serve him. Why? He did "something." He was easily remembered, a VIP customer, and interesting. He was liked.

Control yourself. It’s clear that people don’t enjoy being around someone who can’t control themselves. When others can’t predict what to expect from you, they become uncomfortable and tense. Try to maintain calmness, keep your composure, and stay cheerful, even when things don’t go as you wish. Those who aren’t close to you might avoid you because of signs of irritability, tension, and unpredictability.

• This doesn’t mean you have to hide your emotions. Be real. If something makes you sad, allow yourself to feel that. If others don’t like it, that’s okay—they still won’t like it. But before you express yourself, choose what’s most beneficial for you. Is it worth considering? If so, think it through. If not, reassess your response to the current situation.

Understand others. People from different ages, groups, and backgrounds are looking for different values in their friends and lovers. As you age, your relationships become less eventful and less exciting. Therefore, different behaviors will work with different people. You need to understand who you’re interacting with and what they expect.

• Everything in middle and high school won’t be the same as an adult life. Mytour doesn’t want to say this, but during these ages, you’re more likely to be noticed if you’re a little mean or selfish. A recent study showed that individuals become more popular when they stand out a bit. That’s because, at this age, other kids idolize strength as something desirable, not realizing that it’s inappropriate. In short, kids can be naive.

Practice basic personal hygiene. No one wants to be around someone who smells bad, both literally and figuratively. That’s why it’s important to shower regularly, wash your hair, shave if necessary, brush and floss your teeth, comb your hair, use mints or chewing gum, trim your nails, apply deodorant, change your clothes, and keep your hands clean. These are simple things you can easily do!

• Think of this as an investment in yourself. The time you take to become more attractive (and feel more confident!) will certainly pay off in the future. Not only will it help you be more liked, but it’s also great for your health.

Love yourself. A truth to remember is that if you don’t love yourself, why would anyone else? Negative thoughts can affect your daily activities, and people will notice. So why not love yourself? You are amazing. At the very least, you’re as great as those around you.

• Don’t try to become someone you’re not; if you keep pretending, the future will prove you wrong. You need to understand who you are and adapt these tips to fit your personality. It will bring long-term positive results, even if you act in your own way. Any changes that you force will disappear over time, so it’s best to be yourself from the start.

Use your sense of humor. Maybe you’re funny, so why not use your humor to your advantage? If you can make someone laugh, you’ve already caught their attention! Just be careful to joke in a way that fits the situation. It’s never good to offend others—the goal is to make everyone laugh.

• If you think you’re not funny, don’t be afraid to try and be more humorous. Maybe your humor is different from the standard. Perhaps you enjoy sarcasm, teasing, or witty remarks—anything in these areas can create fun moments. Use what you have. You might create some hilarious situations.