Buzz
Having a secret crush on someone is completely normal. Getting to know them and making them like you back requires significant effort. You can't force someone to love you, as love is a magical thing. However, there are ways to increase the chances of the person you like reciprocating your feelings.
Steps
Communicate with Them
Start a conversation with them. Talking is an effective way to get to know the person and see if they share your interests. Begin with a casual chat or light small talk to gauge their interest in you. Don’t rush; keep the conversation engaging.
- Regularly engage in casual conversations, but occasionally delve into more serious topics or longer discussions. If the conversation naturally deepens, and you both start sharing dreams or secrets, a bond will form. Listen more, respond enthusiastically, and avoid talking only about yourself.
- Take risks when the time is right. Consider confessing your feelings when the moment feels appropriate. Be open but ensure it’s just the two of you, and keep things as natural as possible.
- Try to join the same group if you attend the same school. Smile at them often but not excessively—just enough to make them smile back and approach you. Ask for their Instagram, Snapchat, or Facebook, as it’s less direct than asking for their phone number and allows you to learn more about them.
Send flirtatious signals and observe their reaction. Use verbal cues or body language to convey your interest. These signals will let them know (consciously or subconsciously) that you like them, potentially sparking a mutual attraction.
- Subtly hint through body language. This can happen naturally. Pay attention to their actions and respond accordingly. Be open and show your vulnerable side. Let them know, in a subtle way, how special they are to you.
- Smile often. Be a little playful. Use their name, as people enjoy hearing their name. Compliment them. Always be kind and treat them well.
- Touch them in a flirtatious but not creepy way. A light touch on their arm can show interest without making them feel pressured. A gentle shoulder touch, high-five, or even a goodbye hug works. Bite your lip, smile shyly when teased, play with your hair (always effective), and blink more than usual.
Communicate through eye contact. Make it natural. Grabbing someone’s attention isn’t easy, nor is maintaining it. If you want someone to remember you, use your eyes, but don’t stare too long. It’s like playing with a pet—you dangle a toy to catch their attention.
- This doesn’t mean you should stare at them constantly. That’s creepy. To communicate interest, glance at them, smile, then look away or act shy. This lets them know you’re interested without making them uncomfortable.
- Eye contact also shows confidence, which is attractive to most people as it builds intimacy. Studies show that people in love often look into each other’s eyes.
Interact with Them
Build a friendship and spend more time around them. It’s common for friendships or close bonds to evolve into romantic relationships over time. Knowing their likes, hobbies, and dislikes increases your chances of becoming their partner.
- Talk to them as a friend first. If you approach them as a secret admirer, they might see you as someone infatuated. This can create issues if they avoid getting to know you and miss out on your lovable qualities. Be a friend first, then pursue them later.
- Make them feel comfortable around you through communication. Learn about them and let them learn about you (your likes and dislikes). This helps both of you understand your compatibility.
Spend more time with them. Hang out with the person you like. You don’t have to go alone—invite a couple of friends to join you at the park, play games, or do something fun. This allows you to interact with them naturally.
- Engage in activities together. The more time you spend together, the more they’ll think about you—it’s simple psychology.
- You can also invite them to do something one-on-one, like playing sports or watching a movie. Find out what they enjoy and suggest it to them.
Don’t rush things or go too far too fast. Pushing things too quickly can make the relationship feel forced and unhappy, potentially ruining a budding connection and even the friendship. Be patient!
- Being clingy is something people dislike in a relationship. Give them space and let the relationship grow naturally.
- Don’t stalk them. It’s not only inappropriate but also illegal, and it won’t make them like you. Avoid uncontrolled flirting or prying into their life. Don’t constantly try to be around them. If they’re not interested, these actions will only push them away.
- Spend time together and have fun conversations. If you’re meant to be, it will happen. If not, there are plenty of other opportunities. Don’t force love—it’s not a game.
Be someone they can rely on. A beautiful love often includes a strong friendship. You need to understand them, and they should understand you. More importantly, make them trust you and turn to you when needed.
- Help them when they need support and be there at the right moments. Focus on their needs and wants. If they forget their lunch, offer to share yours or treat them to a snack—they’ll appreciate your kindness.
- Prioritize them and stand by them when they truly need you. Be a dependable person who follows through on promises. Be decisive and make them feel good about themselves.
Learn about their interests. Pay attention to what they like. For example, if the person you like loves sports, watch more sports programs so you can engage when they talk about it.
- If they enjoy old music, ask about their favorite songs. Listen to those songs and find similar ones they might like.
- Be yourself around them and see how things unfold. While it’s good to pay attention to their likes and dislikes, don’t adopt interests that don’t resonate with you.
Focus on Yourself
Dress better for them but stay true to yourself. Be honest: how well do you take care of your appearance? Are you maintaining your body well? Don’t be overly vain, but aim to look a bit more polished.
- Have a sense of style. You don’t need to be a fashion icon, but staying updated and modern can catch their eye. A fresh look never hurts. Pick a day to dress up a little, but keep it natural—don’t overdo it.
- Look neat and approachable. If you’re sloppy and unkempt, they won’t want to talk to you. If you’re adding to your wardrobe, ensure it reflects your style. Choose outfits that suit your personality and highlight your best features.
- Stay clean and fresh. Consider wearing a subtle fragrance. Find a signature scent. Use cologne/perfume, deodorant, brush your teeth, and chew gum.
Smile often and maintain a positive attitude. People are naturally drawn to those who radiate joy, not negativity. Your attitude shapes everything.
- The person you like will likely respond warmly if you’re open, smiling, and welcoming, whether it’s a wave or a playful grin. Be cheerful when you see them, but don’t overdo it—they might think you’re stalking them. Animals behave similarly; they’re happy to see you, and humans feel happier around them. People even look forward to seeing their pets. It really works.
- Be kind and avoid gossiping. What goes around comes around, as the person you like might notice how you treat others. Arrogance and ego are unattractive. Surround yourself with positivity.
Be confident in yourself. Don’t change who you are or make excuses. Most people dislike those who pretend to be someone else—it’s a turn-off. People are drawn to mystery and confidence.
- Have a life that doesn’t revolve solely around them. It makes you more intriguing. Be cool but interesting. The more fascinating you are, the more they’ll be drawn to you.
- Whether it’s your appearance or sharp wit, exude strength. Understand yourself and let your personality shine.
- It’s not worth changing yourself for someone you like. Crushes often last about a month, and someone better might come along. If someone else wins their heart, don’t get upset.
Advice
- Tease them lightly but don’t go overboard.
- Step out of your shell. Gradually get comfortable around the person you like, and be yourself!
- Absolutely DO NOT follow them around school, especially if they’re with friends and seem uninterested in talking to you. It makes you look annoying and possibly creepy.
- Stay clean and fresh.
- Make sure you genuinely like them. How well do you know them? Take time to understand who they are.
- Don’t always hover around them. People enjoy a little chase.
- Be confident and look your best.
- Know when to walk away. Remind yourself: you can’t force someone to love you. The harder you push, the less likely they’ll reciprocate.
- Avoid crossing your arms. It makes you seem unapproachable.
- Always smile and stay cheerful—they’ll feel the positive energy you radiate.
