Buzz
Unfortunately, love potions don’t exist, so getting someone to return your feelings often requires significant effort. Stay confident and true to yourself—men usually appreciate someone with a unique personality! You can get to know them as a friend first, gradually spending more time together and engaging in conversations. Next, invite them to hang out with your group or just the two of you. As they learn more about you, they might start developing feelings too!
Steps
Become Friends
Stay confident and relaxed around them. When you have a crush on someone, it’s natural to feel overly enthusiastic, but try to remain calm and remember they’re just a regular person. Don’t shy away from making eye contact and smiling at them.
- However, avoid staring! If you gaze too long, it might make them uncomfortable. Generally, shift your gaze after 4-5 seconds.
Highlight your interests and hobbies to showcase your unique personality. It’s perfectly normal to have your own opinions and passions, even if you think they aren’t “cool.” Don’t pretend to like things just to impress someone—men can easily spot insincerity.
- It’s okay to disagree or have a different perspective than the guy you like. During class discussions, don’t hesitate to share your thoughts. This shows you’re independent and interesting.
Be friendly with his friends. The guy you like might be more inclined to like you if his friends find you interesting. Don’t hesitate to chat with them in class, in the hallway, during lunch, or at after-school activities. Learn about their interests, discuss homework, and find common ground, like favorite books or movies.
- When making friends, look for shared interests and start conversations around them. Stay approachable, smile, and ask questions about them.
Warning: Be careful not to accidentally flirt with his friends. This could lead to misunderstandings or even one of his friends developing feelings for you!
Show off your sense of humor and fun personality. Be ready to seize opportunities and try new things, even if you feel scared or nervous. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself or crack jokes around the guy you like. A good sense of humor combined with playful charm is incredibly attractive!
- For example, if a teacher asks for volunteers in class, don’t hesitate to step up.
- If you do something embarrassing, laugh it off and turn it into a funny story. This shows you’re comfortable with yourself.
Ask open-ended questions to get to know him better. While talking about yourself is easy, when you want to learn about someone, ask open-ended questions. These encourage detailed responses beyond “yes” or “no” and invite them to share more about themselves! Try questions like:
- What do you think about the book we’re reading in English class?
- How do you feel about practicing soccer for hours during the summer?
- What do you like to do on weekends?
- What TV shows are you into right now?
Tip: Avoid using your phone when you’re around him. In an era where everyone is glued to their devices, putting your phone away to focus on what he’s saying shows that you genuinely care and are interested in him.
Flirt and Spend Time Together
Compliment his personality, intelligence, and appearance. Compliments are a great way to show your interest. Keep your praise simple and direct—he’ll likely say “thank you” or smile in response.
- For example, you could say, “You did a great job on your presentation in class today.”
- To compliment his looks, try something like, “Your new haircut looks awesome,” or “That jacket really brings out your eye color.”
- To add a flirtatious touch, say something like, “You always know how to make me laugh!”
Break the physical barrier to gauge his reaction. Try subtle touches, like brushing his arm or shoulder, to see how he responds. If he smiles and doesn’t pull away, it’s a good sign he’s comfortable with your closeness. If he creates distance, he might not be ready for that level of intimacy yet.
- Light, friendly touches can help build a closer connection between you two.
Ask for his phone number and text to chat more after school. For your first message, you could write, “Hi Nam, it’s Mai. What are you up to?” To keep the conversation going, ask how he felt about the day’s lessons, if he’s finished his homework, or what his plans are for the evening.
- If he replies briefly or doesn’t respond, avoid sending multiple messages in a row. Wait for him to text back or until you have a good reason to continue the conversation.
Tip: If you feel shy about asking for his number, use homework as an excuse. You could say, “Can I have your phone number? That way, I can ask you about any homework questions I have.”
Encourage him and remember important details. Show interest in milestones in his life, like important exams, sports matches, competitions, or exciting events like vacations. Bring these up when you see him. If you have his number, send a supportive message.
- For example, you could text, “Good luck with your match tomorrow!”
- Ask him about significant events. For instance, “I hope your game last weekend went well. How did it go?”
- Before an exam, you might write, “Good luck on your test! I know you’ll do great.”
Plan a study session to spend time alone together. You can study during free periods, after school at one of your homes, at a café, or in the library. Text or meet him after class to schedule the session. Try to stay relaxed and casual when asking, even if you’re nervous.
- You could say, “Hey Hai, do you want to study together on Wednesday to prep for the History test?”
- If he agrees, set a time and place. If he declines, don’t take it personally—he might just be busy or not interested in studying.
- This also works for other activities outside of class. Shared activities like singing, acting, sports, or team events give you chances to meet up for practice or planning.
Organize a group hangout to spend time together. Group outings are a great way to spend time with the guy you like and let him get to know you in a casual setting. Plan a movie night, a party, a sports match, or a fun activity like a bonfire or a game of Werewolf. Invite him and suggest he bring some friends.
- Try saying, “Hey Minh, a few friends and I are planning a hangout this Friday night. You and your friends should come. I’ll send you the details.”
Keep Moving Forward
Text him after your hangout to gauge his feelings. This is a great approach after spending time with the guy you like, whether it’s during a study session or simply being at the same event. Don’t text immediately—wait about 24 hours so you don’t come off as overly eager.
- You could send a message like, “It was great seeing you the other night. I hope you had a good time.”
- Or, be more direct: “I really enjoyed hanging out with you last weekend. Let’s do it again soon!”
Tell him you enjoy being around him. This is less risky than saying “I like you.” It’s a subtle compliment and a way to express your feelings without being too forward. No one minds hearing that their company is appreciated!
- After a hangout, you could say, “Today was fun. I really enjoy spending time with you,” and smile.
- If he suggests plans, respond with, “This sounds exciting. I love hanging out with you.”
- You could also send a quick text like, “I really enjoyed studying with you the other day.”
Ask him out to grow closer. If he agrees to spend time with you and enjoys your company, keep meeting up and chatting regularly. He might even start initiating plans before you realize how close you’ve become.
- Pay attention to whether he seems interested in flirting. He might be seeing other people who also like him. Protect your heart and avoid putting yourself in a one-sided situation. If you feel he’s not serious, step back and see if he pursues you. If he doesn’t, take it as a sign to move on.
Be patient and don’t stress if things seem slow. Remember, getting to know the guy you like and figuring out if he feels the same way can take weeks or longer. People often need time to develop romantic feelings. Focus on being his friend and staying positive.
- If you lose patience and need to express your feelings to see where he stands, go ahead. Be prepared for his response, whether it’s positive or not.
Always remember your self-worth, no matter what happens. Hopefully, after weeks or months of spending time together, the guy you like will feel the same way, and you can move toward a more serious relationship. However, if that doesn’t happen, remember that there’s nothing wrong with you, your personality, or your appearance. Sometimes, two people just aren’t meant to be, and that’s okay.
- If your feelings aren’t reciprocated, take a few weeks to focus on yourself, your hobbies, and your friends. It’s okay to feel sad, and with time, you’ll return to your normal self.
Tips
- Don’t hesitate to ask the guy you like out or tell him how you feel! You don’t have to wait for him to make the first move.
- Remember, you don’t always need to be available for him. Having other plans or spending time with friends shows that you’re an interesting and independent person.
