Buzz
Is your relationship with your boyfriend not going as planned? Do you struggle to say that it’s time to end things? Or are you afraid of how he might react if you bring up breaking up? Sometimes, ending a relationship is tough, but the best approach is to be honest and tell him directly that things aren’t working out. However, if you’re looking for an alternative, there are ways to encourage him to take the lead in ending the relationship. Follow these simple steps, and soon enough, you’ll be back to being single.
Steps
Change the way you treat him
Act distant. If you want to leave your boyfriend, stop answering his calls or messages. If you do talk, simply say you’re too busy. Avoid calling or texting him first. If you’ve made plans, cancel them at the last minute. He’ll realize you don’t want to be around him and will eventually break up with you. You could also try not talking to him at all.
- When you see him, avoid deep conversations. Make your interactions dull and awkward. You can even act bored or as if he’s bothering you.
- If he calls you, ignore it or say things like, “I’ve been really busy lately.” If he asks what you’re busy with, change the subject or avoid answering.
- If you want to be more subtle, make gradual changes. Don’t cut him off abruptly but reduce your interactions bit by bit. If you used to text him multiple times a day, slowly decrease the frequency. Eventually, he’ll notice you’re pulling away.
Pick fights with him. Whenever you’re around your boyfriend, find reasons to argue over trivial matters. Whatever he says, twist his words and turn it into a disagreement. If he’s slightly late for something, say something like, “You’re always running late, and I end up waiting forever. Can’t you ever be on time?” This might frustrate him enough to end the relationship.
- You can also criticize everything he does to provoke arguments. If he explains something to you, respond with, “You’re wrong. That’s ridiculous.” Eventually, he’ll lose patience and break up with you.
Be vague about the future. Hint that you don’t see a future together. If he’s making plans for a date, avoid committing to anything definite or dodge the topic. If he invites you to a concert or event months ahead, say, “We’ll see. I’m not sure if I’ll be free then.” Over time, he’ll realize you don’t envision a future with him.
- You can also act annoyed when he asks about your plans. If he asks what you’re doing over the weekend, reply, “Why do you need to know? You don’t have to track my every move.” If he sees you’re unavailable, he’ll understand you’re not interested in a long-term commitment.
- When discussing the future, avoid including him in your plans. Mention wanting to take a vacation with friends or considering a job in another city. By leaving him out, he’ll realize you don’t see him in your future.
Stop saying “I love you.” Whenever he says he loves you, don’t reciprocate. If he asks, respond vaguely with phrases like, “I guess” or “Sure.” If you do say it, avoid sounding sincere or confident—hesitate instead.
Stop physical affection. Cutting off physical intimacy sends a clear signal that the relationship is in trouble. Regardless of how close you’ve been, start creating distance. If you’ve only been affectionate, avoid kisses or hugs. If you’ve been intimate, say you’re not in the mood or interested. If he asks why, don’t explain.
- You can even stop all physical contact. If he tries to hold your hand, pull away or pretend you’re busy with something.
Say you need space. A great way to stop seeing your boyfriend is to declare that you need time apart. This creates distance without confrontation. If he calls or texts afterward, ignore him. Over time, he’ll get the message.
Deliberately control him. Scrutinize everything your boyfriend does. Tell him his shoes don’t match his pants at all. Lecture him about what he should eat instead of his usual choices. Nag about everyday trivial matters. You can even act dismissive, as if he never does anything right. If he does something for you, say, “That’s nice, but you’re doing it wrong. It should be done this way.” Eventually, he’ll grow tired of your micromanaging and want to end things.
Act selfish. When you’re together, never let him steer the conversation. If he starts talking about himself, interrupt and shift the focus to you. If you let him finish, respond indifferently with phrases like, “Oh, really?” or “Cool,” and then start talking about yourself. He’ll sense that you don’t care about him or think you’re too self-centered.
Change in front of others
Change your social media profiles. Social media is where you showcase your relationship. If you want your boyfriend to break up with you, update your accounts to appear single. Change your profile pictures on Facebook and Twitter from couple photos to solo shots. Remove your relationship status on Facebook. If you keep this up long enough, he’ll get the hint.
- For added effect, use your most flattering photo as your profile picture. He’ll realize you’re signaling to others that you’re not serious about him and are open to dating someone else.
- Start chatting with other guys on Facebook or Twitter. When he sees your interactions, he’ll understand you’re pulling away.
Talk to your friends. The next time you’re out with your boyfriend and friends, let them know what’s going on. Tell them not to be overly friendly or welcoming to him. In group settings, ignore him and focus on chatting with your friends. He’ll feel the coldness and realize something’s off.
Complain about his friends. Every time your boyfriend suggests hanging out with his friends, criticize them. When you meet them, point out their flaws. If he mentions them in conversation, say something negative or argue when he compliments someone. Guys are usually close with their friends, and he’ll get annoyed if you disrespect them.
- If you know you’ll be meeting his friends, cancel plans with him. This will show how much you dislike them.
Flirt with other guys. Flirt with other men whenever you’re out with your boyfriend. If you see an attractive guy on the street, tell your boyfriend how charming he is. Act distracted while talking to him because you’re busy checking out someone else. You can even flirt with his best friend. Eventually, he’ll get fed up and want to end things.
Start talking about your ex. Nothing makes a guy run faster than hearing you constantly bring up your ex. Mention your past relationship in conversations, say how much you miss him, and wonder how he’s doing now. If your boyfriend compliments your outfit, say, “Thanks. My ex loved me in this.” This not only hurts his ego but also makes him realize you’re still hung up on someone else. He might even worry about whether you’ve truly moved on, and eventually, he’ll get tired of not knowing where he stands.
- Start looking at old photos of you and your ex in front of your boyfriend. If your social media profile picture is with him, replace it with one of you and your ex. This sends a clear message that you’re no longer interested in being his girlfriend.
Advice
- Only use these tactics as a last resort. They can backfire, and you might lose the chance to stay friends later. He might tell others you’re not a nice person, making them wary of you too.
- If possible, be honest with your boyfriend. This is easier and less stressful than playing games.
- If he suggests coming over, say, “No, I don’t want you to.” He’ll understand you don’t want him around or that you want to break up.
- When you’re out with friends, avoid him or act annoyed if he sits near you. Still, honesty is less painful and stressful in the long run.
- If you don’t like someone, try to be upfront. You can simply say you’re not compatible and it’s best to part ways.
- If you plan to break up, don’t wait too long, as it will only cause more pain for both of you.
