How to Make Your Cat Familiar With You and Grow Affection

Building a connection with a cat can be challenging. Cats are inherently independent and don’t require constant human interaction to feel content. To strengthen your bond with a cat, it’s important to create a safe and positive environment. You also need to teach your cat to associate you with things they enjoy, such as food. Whether your cat is a kitten or an adult, you can form a strong bond with patience and effort.

Introduce Your Cat to Social Interactions Early To build a lasting relationship with a cat, it’s essential to ensure they feel comfortable around people. Early socialization plays a crucial role in a cat's future relationship with humans.

• Expose your cat to people between 2 to 7 weeks old, which will provide a good foundation for the future.
• Socialization includes handling your cat and encouraging interaction with people or other animals. These interactions must be comfortable enough for the cat to want to continue socializing later.
• Consider enrolling your cat in socialization classes. Your veterinarian may be able to recommend a few options for you to explore.

Be patient with adult cats. If your cat is already grown, don’t lose hope. You can still build a bond. Positive interactions can take time when you want to connect with a cat of any age.

• Even a 4-year-old feral cat (who hasn’t been cared for by humans) can learn to communicate.
• Building a relationship with an adult cat will take more time and patience. You’ll still follow the same steps as in this guide, but be prepared for the cat to take longer to accept you.

Create a comfortable living environment for your cat. A cat won’t interact if it doesn’t feel safe and comfortable. Set up a quiet space with no threats when you bring a new cat home.

• Start by placing the cat in a quiet room where it can feel at ease. Your bedroom is a good choice. Spend time there to help the cat get used to your scent. Gradually let the cat explore other areas once it feels more comfortable.
• Provide comfortable and interesting places for the cat to relax (and hide). A cat tree will work well for cats who need safety and privacy.
• Always have food, water, a litter box, and a scratching post available for your cat.

Maintain a proper distance. Don’t hover around the cat or force affection all the time. By staying calm and keeping your distance, you show the cat that you’re not a threat and that there’s no reason to fear you.

• This is especially important for adult cats who aren’t used to human company. Overwhelming them with attention can backfire. Let them come to you on their own.
• Read a book or watch TV, ignoring the cat. Scatter food around the room and encourage the cat to come out and find it. The cat will follow the food trail and get closer to you. Sit still. Don’t approach or speak to the cat right away. Allow it to get used to sharing a room with you. The food will form a positive association with your presence.
• Let the cat come to you. Lure or toss a toy to pique your interest. Don’t rush to pet the cat, as that might scare it. Start with light touches, even if it's just a quick stroke at first. Don’t rush, or you may have to rebuild trust with the cat.
• Keep in mind that it may take time before the cat realizes that you have no intention of harming it. Right now, it’s still getting familiar with you. Show love through patience when the cat first arrives at your home.

Use a pheromone diffuser to calm a scared cat. These devices contain a pheromone that cats release when they’re calm, helping a frightened cat feel more secure and relaxed.

• Pheromone diffusers are easy to use. Simply plug them into an outlet like you would with air fresheners. Be sure to check them regularly to ensure the liquid inside hasn’t run out.
• You can find these devices in most pet stores or online retailers.

Gently pet the cat if it invites you to. Cats can easily become overstimulated, and if you force affection when they’re not ready, they may become frightened or defensive. Make sure the cat associates you with gentle and calm affection, rather than fear.

• Gently pet the cat when it rubs against you. This is a friendly gesture, and you should reinforce the bond by using this opportunity for a gentle stroke.
• Cats enjoy being scratched behind the ears and on their necks. They also like having their backs petted, especially near the tail. However, long strokes down their spine can cause overstimulation, leading the cat to scratch or bite you.
• Offering the cat a treat right after picking it up will help the cat link physical contact with a positive experience.

Pick up the cat when it feels relaxed. Gently pet the cat as long as it enjoys the attention, then pick it up and take it to a sunny spot or offer it some food. This will help the cat associate being held with positive experiences.

• Do not try to hug the cat if it doesn't want to be held. This could break the trust you are building, especially important for adult cats.
• Sometimes, you’ll need to pick up the cat even when it doesn't want to be held, such as when placing it in a carrier. Do this as gently as possible, soothing the cat with a calm voice, petting it, or offering treats.

Seek medical intervention when all else fails. Shy and fearful adult cats may need medication to help with the adjustment process. Consult a veterinarian if other methods do not work.

• Many animal behavior experts can assist in severe cases. Ask your vet for recommendations.

Ensure that you are the one feeding the cat. Once the cat is familiar with your presence, start fostering a positive relationship by being the one who feeds it. Food is a great motivator, and associating you with mealtime will help create a positive bond.

• Feed the cat two to three small meals a day instead of leaving a large portion of food out for the entire day. This reinforces the connection between you and food. If you're leaving dry food available, you can still create smaller meals with wet food.
• Stay in the room while the cat is eating to further strengthen the association between you and food. You can also pet the cat while it eats.
• Feeding high-quality food will make the cat see you as the one who provides the tastiest meals. Use treats to reward good behaviors, like when the cat rubs against your legs or shows affection.

Spay or neuter the cat. A cat will form a stronger bond with you if it's not distracted by mating instincts.

• Spaying or neutering is also essential for controlling the cat population, especially if your cat is allowed outside. If your cat hasn't been spayed or neutered, contact a veterinary clinic or local humane organizations to schedule an appointment.

Talking to your cat. Speak to your cat in a calm and non-threatening tone regularly. Your tone and gestures convey a message to your cat, so aim to make that message friendly.

• Shouting at your cat (or any other animal) will make them fearful and lose trust in you. Even when your cat misbehaves, try not to scold them.

Playing with your cat. Once your cat feels comfortable enough to approach you, you can tempt or attach toys to a string to entice them to play. Not every cat is always in the mood to play, so take every opportunity to bond with your cat.

• Many cats love catnip. You can buy toys filled with this herb to encourage playtime.
• Playing with your cat is considered successful when your cat invites you to join them. For example, your cat may rub against you or climb on you. While you can attract your cat with glowing toys or dangling objects, they might ignore you if they’re not in the mood to play.

Keeping your cat and litter box clean. Cats appreciate a clean coat and living environment. Regularly clean your cat's litter box to prevent them from using a dirty one, as a filthy box will make your cat uncomfortable and upset.

• Even though cats groom themselves for long periods, you can also brush your cat to strengthen your bond. Use a brush specifically designed for cats. Some cats may resist, but others may enjoy it. This also helps reduce shedding, especially with long-haired cats.

Maintaining your cat’s health. Cats may avoid or hide from you if they are unwell. Regular vet check-ups are essential. Contact your vet if you notice significant changes in your cat's health or behavior.

• Cats won’t understand that you’re concerned for their health when you take them to the vet, but keeping them healthy is the best way to show your care.
• Your cat might not feel affectionate toward you when you put them in a carrier to visit the vet, but their later years of good health will make up for it.

Recognizing signs of affection. It's well-known that purring indicates a content cat. However, you might not know that a slow blink is also a sign of contentment and acceptance.

• Try slow-blinking at your cat. Many people refer to this as a 'cat kiss.' Your cat may interpret this as a sign that you're friendly and not a threat.

• Be patient. Some cats are very timid and require more time to get used to humans. However, with effort, the bond between you and the cat can be incredibly rewarding for the time and energy invested.
• Kittens may quickly warm up to you and show affection, but adult cats, especially strays or feral cats, may need more time to develop feelings for you. Even then, they may not be as well-behaved as a cat you've raised from a young age. If you're adopting an adult cat, be prepared for a long period of adjustment to their reserved and unpredictable nature. You must be extremely patient with such cats.