How to Make Your Cat Love You

By nature, cats are more independent than dogs, which can make them seem distant and aloof. However, your cat can still become very close and affectionate with you. This connection will enhance and deepen the bond between you and your cat. Depending on your cat's personality, it may take time and patience for them to develop affection and attachment to you. But don't worry – the more your cat loves you, the happier both of you will be.

Learn Your Cat's Body Language. Once your cat is comfortable with you, they will communicate affection through body language. Understanding these signals will help you gauge how comfortable they are with you. For instance, your cat might rub its head – lowering and nudging the top of their head against yours or other parts of your body. This is a clear indication of their affection.

• Cats have scent glands near their ears, and rubbing their head is a way for them to mark you with their scent. They may also rub their cheeks to mark you as theirs. This is one of the ways cats express that they like you.
• To let you know they are fond of you, your cat may establish eye contact and gently blink. Eye contact signals trust. Gently blink back to show your cat that the trust is mutual.
• By mimicking some of your cat's gestures, such as head rubbing or soft blinking, you can further strengthen your bond with them and show your cat that you care.
• Other signs of affection include soft meowing, gently kneading you with their front paws, sitting on your lap, and licking you.

Provide your cat with plenty of toys. Toys are a great way to spark excitement in your cat's home, both physically and mentally. The variety of toys can help your cat become more fond of you. Depending on your cat's personality, they may prefer certain toys over others. For example, if your cat enjoys chasing, they might like dangling or wobbly toys.

• If your cat is older and/or more laid-back, they may prefer toys that don't require too much running around, such as a catnip-filled toy that they can play with while lounging.
• Don’t forget to rotate toys regularly to prevent your cat from getting bored.
• If you don’t want to spend too much, you can turn everyday household items into toys. For example, an empty toilet paper roll or an open paper bag can provide endless fun for your cat.
• Be mindful of what not to let your cat play with, like ribbon strips, string, or rubber bands, as they may swallow these and they can become lodged in your cat’s stomach, which can be fatal.
• Also, pay attention to toys with small parts, like plastic eyes, that your cat might pull off and swallow.
• If you're unsure which toys are best for your cat, consult with a vet or a local pet store for advice.

Spend regular playtime with your cat. While cats are generally independent and good at entertaining themselves, they still need regular interaction to bond with you and develop affection. Cats are usually most active at dawn and dusk, so it's a good idea to schedule play sessions during these times.

• If your schedule allows, try to play with your cat early in the morning or during twilight, for 5 to 15 minutes at a time. Keep in mind that older or overweight cats may not have the stamina for long play sessions.
• Whatever time you choose, make sure it's consistent every day. This gives your cat something to look forward to and allows you to build a positive, ongoing bond.

Maintain a regular feeding schedule. You might not realize it, but mealtime is a great opportunity to bond with your cat. Also, it’s crucial that your cat sees you as the provider of their food. Rather than leaving food out all day, feed them at set times.

• The ideal first ingredient in their meals should be protein, such as turkey or chicken.
• Since there are so many different food options for cats in grocery stores and pet shops, consult your vet to determine the best food for your cat based on their age and health condition. Some foods may be better suited to your cat than others.
• Your cat’s age determines how many meals they need. Kittens under 6 months should be fed three times a day. From six months to a year, twice a day is sufficient. After one year, once a day is enough.
• Certain medical conditions, such as diabetes, can also affect your cat’s feeding schedule.
• The amount of food per meal depends on factors like your cat’s size, activity level, and age. Although there's no one-size-fits-all method for portioning, general guidelines based on weight are: 2-2.5 kg (1/4 to 1/3 cup), 4.5 kg (3/8 to 1/2 cup), and 7 kg (1/2 to 3/4 cup) for dry food.
• Consult your vet about the right quantity and type of food for your cat.

Treat your cat to some snacks. Giving your cat occasional treats is another great way to win their affection. Treats should only make up a small portion of your cat's diet (10-15% of their daily intake), as they provide little nutritional value. A good rule of thumb is to treat your cat no more than 2 to 3 times a week.

• Cat treats are available at pet stores and grocery stores.
• In general, avoid giving your cat human food. In fact, some human foods (such as grapes, onions, and raisins) are toxic to cats, so be sure to keep them away from these.
• Catnip is an excellent treat option for your cat.
• Treats are also a useful way to reward your cat for good behavior.

Pet your cat. Petting is another excellent way to bond with your cat and make them grow fond of you. Cats enjoy being stroked near their scent glands: under the chin, around the base of the ears, the area behind their whiskers, and the region just in front of the tail. They might enjoy rubbing these areas against your body or objects as a way to mark their territory. Similarly, your cat will likely enjoy being petted in these areas.

• Remember that your cat may not want to be petted all the time or for long periods, even if they seem relaxed and content. If their body language shows signs of overstimulation (dilated pupils, fur standing up, tail wagging like a dog) or if they try to move away from you, stop and give them space. Let your cat guide you on how much petting they enjoy.
• When petting, gently stroke the areas your cat enjoys. You can also speak in a soft and calm voice to make both of you feel more comfortable.
• In addition to petting, consider grooming and bathing your cat if they allow it. Grooming and bathing can help you learn which areas your cat likes or dislikes being touched.

Engage gently with your cat. This is especially helpful if your cat is shy or stressed. Maintaining a calm and gentle interaction helps your cat feel more comfortable and familiar with you. For example, you can sit quietly on the floor or read a book in an armchair while your cat is in the same room with you.

Avoid petting your cat’s belly. Understanding what your cat dislikes can prevent actions that could threaten the bond you share with them. Unlike dogs, cats generally don’t enjoy having their belly stroked. In fact, when you do this, your cat might instinctively react defensively by extending their claws and attempting to bite you.

• In the wild, cats are aware that they are both predators and prey. The belly contains many vital organs, so if your cat doesn’t perceive your intentions as harmless, the “prey mode” might kick in, and they’ll do anything to protect this area.
• When your cat stretches and exposes their belly, it might seem like they are very relaxed and comfortable in their space. However, they may still be in a defensive state. For safety, don’t mistake this for an invitation to pet their belly.
• While some cats may not mind having their belly petted, it’s best to avoid this area and only pet places that you know your cat enjoys.

Don’t force your cat to interact with you. As mentioned earlier, respect your cat's preferences when it comes to interactions. Forcing your cat to play or pet them when they don’t want to may cause them to lose trust in you. It could even make them fearful, as they might not believe you’ll respect their personal space.

• Not only does your cat show affection (like purring, rubbing their head), but they will also let you know when they’ve had enough and need space. For instance, if your cat starts growling, hissing, or spitting, give them room to calm down on their own.
• Your cat may simply get tired from too much play and choose to stop on their own.
• If your cat is shy or timid, it’s especially important to avoid pressuring them into interacting with you.

Don’t scold or physically punish your cat. Physical punishment will not work, as your cat cannot connect their behavior with the consequence. Instead, consider using time-outs where you simply leave the room and refrain from talking or interacting with them. Quickly, your cat will realize that certain behaviors lead to being ignored (which is a negative consequence in their mind), and they will stop doing it.

• Physical punishment is likely to make your cat fearful and wary of you.
• Instead of shouting, try saying “no” firmly when your cat exhibits bad behavior.

• Be patient! Your cat will decide how comfortable they want to become with you and when that will happen. So, don’t rush or push the process of getting to know each other.
• Remember that not all cats enjoy being hugged or cuddled. Pay attention to your cat's body language to see if they want or enjoy being held.
• If there are multiple people in your home, keep in mind that your cat may not form the same bond with everyone. It’s possible that your cat will grow closer to some individuals more than others.
• While catnip can make playtime more enjoyable, not all cats respond the same way to it. Some may relax, while others might become overly stimulated and even act aggressively during play. Keep an eye on your cat to understand their reaction.
• If your cat doesn't seem to be bonding with you, consider consulting a vet or a feline behaviorist for advice on how to strengthen your connection with your cat.
• When your cat turns away or hides, it’s often a sign they want to rest and relax.
• If your cat is new to your home, give them time to explore and adjust. Don’t worry if you can’t find them for a while, they may just be checking out hidden corners or under furniture.

• Coiled string, ribbons, and rubber bands can lead to serious health issues and may even be fatal if swallowed by your cat. Keep these items out of your cat’s reach.