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The relationship between cousins can be incredibly close and profound. If you were once very close to your cousins but have grown distant due to living far apart, misunderstandings, or even internal family issues, don't worry—you can still make her cherish you and build a meaningful relationship for both of you.
Steps
Build Trust
Take the initiative to reach out. Reconnecting with your cousin is a great first step to building trust and making her appreciate you. Start with a simple message so she isn't too surprised or caught off guard.
- There are many ways to get in touch, such as writing a letter, sending an email, or making a phone call. Social media is also an option. You can (re)connect with her on Facebook or follow her on Instagram. These small actions will help you gradually communicate more often.
- Begin the conversation with a simple message, like: 'We used to be so close, and I miss you a lot. If you're up for it, let's stay in touch more often.' Messages like this show your feelings and open the door for more frequent communication.
- Avoid bringing up past conflicts or family issues. There will be a right time to address those, and both of you will know when it's appropriate to discuss such matters openly.
- Don't insult or scold her. If you don't have anything positive to say, it's best to wait until you can treat her with positivity and respect.
- If you don't have her contact information, ask family members or use search tools like Google to find her email address or phone number.
Be a skilled communicator. There are two key elements to becoming a great communicator: speaking and listening. Engage in conversations with your cousin and pay attention to what she says. This will show her that you are serious about the relationship.
- Maintain consistent communication. Once you've reconnected with your cousin, you don't need to reply to messages or calls immediately, but stay in touch regularly to build trust between you.
- One of the most important factors in earning her trust is listening. Let her know that her interests and challenges matter to you. For example, if she's struggling with school or friendships, show empathy and help her find solutions.
- Sharing secrets can also strengthen your bond. However, ensure you don't disclose her secrets to others to avoid conflicts.
Always show respect and flexibility. Make your cousin feel comfortable and at ease when you talk or spend time together. Demonstrating respect and adaptability in your behavior will help her trust and appreciate you more.
- Your cousin may have beliefs and ideas different from yours. Respect and value these differences to show you are serious about the relationship.
- Respect also means not insulting your cousin or her family. Gossiping, spreading rumors, or revealing her secrets to others are disrespectful behaviors.
Meet up outside of family gatherings. Once you've been in regular contact with your cousin, arrange to meet her in person. However, avoid meeting during family events, as the atmosphere might be tense, and issues could escalate.
- Keep the first meeting simple. You could go for coffee, lunch, a movie, or a sports event. You can plan longer outings once you've had a chance to meet briefly.
Build a relationship with your cousin
Show genuine interest. Listen to what she shares, and when you respond, mention a few details she brought up. This demonstrates that you are paying attention and genuinely care about her and your relationship.
- One of the best ways to show interest is by asking questions. You can ask simple questions like 'Do you enjoy…' to encourage her to talk more about her studies or where she lives.
Find common ground. A great way to build a friendship with your cousin and make her truly appreciate you is to discover shared interests. Having a few similarities will make it easier for you to connect and converse.
- At first, it might seem like you and your cousin don’t have much in common. However, by staying in touch and asking about her life, you’ll find commonalities in simple things like personality traits or hobbies. For instance, you might both enjoy gaming or using Pinterest. You could play games together or follow each other on Pinterest.
- Not having many similarities is okay too. You can share different perspectives on the world or introduce each other to exciting new activities. For example, if your cousin loves hiking and you’ve never tried it, plan a hike together. You might end up loving it, and even if you don’t, she’ll appreciate your willingness to try new experiences.
Talk and laugh often. Regular conversations will significantly strengthen your bond. Keep your chats positive, lighthearted, and full of laughter to deepen your connection.
- Thanks to social media, staying in touch with your cousin is easier than ever. You can connect through platforms like Facebook and Twitter.
- With the prevalence of smartphones, sending messages is simple. You can text or use free apps like Viber and WhatsApp.
- Video calls through apps like Skype or FaceTime also make communication more convenient and private.
- Always maintain a positive and respectful attitude. Avoid scolding or hurting her feelings. If you slip up, apologize and work on rebuilding your bond.
Do fun things together. Spending time engaging in various activities not only strengthens your bond but also builds trust between you.
- Making your cousin laugh or laughing along with her when she does something amusing will make her cherish you. Everyone loves someone who brings joy to others.
- Be flexible. You don’t have to enjoy every activity your cousin likes or suggests, and she doesn’t have to share your interests. However, being adaptable will help grow your relationship. Your cousin should also respect your choices.
- Remember to spend time together outside of family gatherings, as these occasions can often be tense and might negatively affect your relationship.
Maintain your relationship with your cousin
Stay in touch. There will be times when you can’t communicate or meet your cousin regularly, and that’s completely normal. However, sending simple messages like 'Hey, how’s everything going?' is enough to show you still care deeply about her.
- Stay connected with your cousin on platforms like Facebook and Twitter.
- Call or text. You can send messages on your phone or use free apps like Viber and WhatsApp.
- Video calls through apps like Skype or FaceTime also make staying in touch more convenient and private.
Continue showing genuine care. Beyond staying in touch, demonstrate that you truly care about her. There are many ways to show your concern, such as remembering to wish her a happy birthday or helping her navigate life’s challenges.
- Remembering important occasions for your cousin helps maintain your bond. Note her birthday, anniversaries, and upcoming milestones to send her heartfelt wishes.
- When she faces difficulties, be ready to lend a hand. This could mean babysitting when her caregiver is unavailable, assisting with homework, or even buying her a special fashion item.
Maintain a respectful and positive relationship. All relationships have their ups and downs, but treating your cousin with respect and positivity will ensure a lasting connection.
- There may be moments of negativity or frustration during conversations. Handle these situations calmly, with utmost respect, and let go of any negativity.
- Avoiding family conflicts will also help keep your relationship positive and mutually respectful.
