How to Make Your Ex Miss You

Don't reach out first. As a general rule, you should wait between two weeks to a month before contacting your ex again. Reaching out too soon might show that you miss them, which isn't the message you want to send if you're trying to make them miss you. Additionally, staying in contact won't give your ex the chance to miss you since you're still talking.

• Right after the breakup, your ex might feel confident that you'll give in and be the one to call first. After a week or two of no contact, they might start wondering why you haven't reached out and could even feel frustrated. After another week or two, you'll be on their mind so much that they might admit they miss you.

Don't answer calls or respond to messages. In the first few weeks after the breakup, avoid responding to your ex's calls, even if they reach out first. Your ex might call seeking a quick, temporary fix to ease their initial pain. However, if you want them to genuinely miss you, prolong the waiting period to allow stronger feelings of longing to develop.

Consider leaving town. One way to completely cut off contact is by traveling. This ensures you won't accidentally run into your ex. Additionally, it gives you the break you need.

Take time to calm down. Another reason for cutting contact is to give yourself time to heal. Breakups are painful, and you need time to assess what went wrong, especially if you're considering reconciliation. Distance can provide the clarity you need.

• During this month, go out. Do something you enjoy, alone or with friends. Get used to living independently and single. Regaining your independence can offer a fresh perspective if you do get back together.
• Plus, being happier and healthier will make your ex miss you more.

Don't stalk your ex. If you're following them around, you won't get the space you need. Plus, if caught, you'll seem overly clingy, which is unattractive. You might push them further away instead of making them miss you.

• Stalking includes real-life actions (like waiting outside their house or following them around) and online behaviors (obsessing over their social media or secretly checking their emails).

Don't broadcast your sadness. Avoid posting sad updates on social media where your ex can see. In fact, don't mention the breakup at all. Eventually, your silence will win them over, and they'll start to miss you.

Make new friends. Meeting new people can boost your confidence and strength, and it also gives you a chance to grow and change. Additionally, it shows your ex that you can build a social life without them. If you had mutual friends before the breakup, any sadness you show around them might reach your ex, and cutting ties becomes harder if you frequently see the same people.

Feel free to date. Now, you have the freedom to meet anyone you want, so go out and date. If this news accidentally reaches your ex, even better. They might realize they miss you more than they thought.

• Plus, you might even start a new relationship and realize you no longer care about making your ex miss you or wanting you back.

Start a new hobby. You need to feel happy about your life again, and you also want your ex to miss you. The more knowledge and experiences you gain, the more interesting you become. If your ex sees you doing something new, they might miss you more.

• This could make your ex jealous of how happy you are without them.
• It can also make familiar things feel new. By showing attractive sides of yourself and enjoying life in ways your ex has never seen, you might make them wish they were still with you to explore those aspects.

Focus on your health. After a breakup, you might be tempted to indulge in unhealthy comfort foods. Don’t give in. Instead, push yourself to eat healthier and make time for exercise. You’ll feel better and look more attractive, whether or not you lose weight, which will make your ex miss you.

Reward yourself with a fresh look. You don’t need a complete wardrobe overhaul or a total transformation to achieve a new appearance. Simply trying a new hairstyle or wearing a jacket slightly different from your usual style can make a difference. Even adding a scarf with a unique flair can change your look and boost your confidence. A new appearance will not only make your ex jealous but also increase your self-assurance, making them miss you more.

• The key is to avoid going overboard. Enhancing your look can make you feel more confident and show your ex how attractive you are, but going into debt for it will lead to regret.
• Additionally, now isn’t the time for major body decisions. Avoid cosmetic surgeries and think carefully before getting a tattoo.

Be sweet. When it’s time to meet again, be polite and kind. Smile and engage in friendly conversation. This will remind your ex of your best qualities and subtly show them that you’ve moved past the breakup.

Try texting first. Texting is a low-pressure way to reconnect. It’s less intense than a phone call and gives your ex the chance to respond when they’re ready.

Start with something real. When you decide to contact your ex, send a message or start a conversation based on something genuine. After ignoring them for about a month, your first interaction should feel natural, not awkward.

• For example, you could say, “I saw that (movie title) is getting a sequel. I know how much you loved the first one, and I immediately thought of you.” Or, “I heard your favorite song on the radio today and it made me smile. I just wanted to let you know.” Reminding them of happy times will make them miss you more.

Start a conversation about the good old days. Once you’ve reestablished normal communication, bring up a familiar memory that reminds your ex of the positive aspects of your relationship. Recalling happy times will help them remember why they fell for you in the first place, increasing their longing for you.

• Consider saying something like, “Remember when we tried to find that amazing restaurant but ended up getting lost? I can’t believe we missed that meal, but I’m glad we did. Eating hot dogs on the beach with you is one of my favorite memories.”

Act like the person your ex fell in love with. When you first met, you likely behaved differently than you did toward the end of the relationship. By acting like the person your ex once loved, you increase the chances of rekindling their feelings. This means trying to revive those initial emotions by showing them the relaxed, fun version of yourself that might have faded during the relationship’s struggles.

• Of course, the effectiveness of this depends on how much you changed during the relationship. If you were attentive while courting but became less caring later, this might work.
• However, if your behavior changed drastically—like going from sweet to abusive—this might remind your ex of how crazy that shift was.

Stay calm. Even after reinitiating contact, avoid over-communicating with your ex. Let them know you miss them, but don’t appear overly eager to be part of their life again. You want to remind them why they liked you, but you also need to give them space to miss you.

• Follow this golden rule: Let your ex reach out to you twice as often as you reach out to them.

Show them photos of your new life. Once you’ve reconnected, feel free to share photos of your new life with your ex. The best way to share these isn’t just texting them directly; try posting them on social media, as long as your ex is still connected with you. Otherwise, you can occasionally send them updates about what you’re up to.

Show your care on special occasions. Remembering important dates like your ex’s birthday or Christmas is a subtle yet effective way to show you still care. These small gestures let your ex know they’re still on your mind without making it seem like they’re all you think about.

• When considering special occasions, avoid including any relationship anniversaries.
• Keep your gestures moderate. A Christmas or birthday card works well, but expensive gifts like sports tickets or jewelry are too much.

Don’t beg for attention. Jealousy can work if done subtly, but often, people are too obvious when trying to make someone jealous. If you’re doing something solely to grab your ex’s attention, you’ll likely come off as desperate. For example, don’t date someone your ex knows just to make them angry.