Buzz
The idea that only men should put in effort to make their girlfriends feel special is outdated. These days, it's normal for both sexes to show love towards each other. While every man is different, there are a few basic things you can do to remind him how much he means to you. Surprise him with these thoughtful gestures to show your care and affection.
Steps
Spoil Him
Compliment Him. Men always want to feel like they have a positive influence on their partner. If he has put effort into something for you, don’t overlook it. Praise him right away! Let him know that you acknowledge his efforts and how significant he is to you.
- Try to offer sincere compliments. It’s easy to spot an insincere compliment, so avoid risking that in your relationship. Offering fewer, but more genuine compliments, is better than throwing out a bunch of forgettable words.
- Another way to compliment him is by paying more attention to him. Simply focusing more (especially when you’re talking), shows that he matters to you.
Serve him what he loves. No one understands him like you, so pick an activity that you know he will enjoy. He will appreciate this gesture deeply. If you want to be even more generous, dedicate an entire evening to him. For example, cook his favorite meal — it's the best choice. You could also play his favorite songs while you both dine, then watch the movie he loves. These little details will truly make him feel special.
- Turning a small gift into a surprise makes everything even better. For example, you could slip a pair of tickets to his favorite team into his hand while you're having dinner. The gift might not be big, but the effort to plan the surprise will make it valuable to him.
- If you take him out for fun, don't hesitate to pay — covering the bill isn't just the man's responsibility. You don’t need to spend a lot of money to make him feel special.
Express love generously. Tell him you love him, hug him, kiss him a lot, and snuggle up to him — do whatever you know he enjoys. Make him feel like he's the perfect partner and that you can't find anyone better. If he knows you're sincere, he will feel something truly special.
- If you want to make him feel special, avoid criticizing him. If he makes a small mistake, let it go. Bringing it up during romantic moments will only kill the mood. On the other hand, if he says something hurtful or disrespectful, don't stay silent just to keep him happy.
Look your best. A strong relationship needs more than looks, but looking good doesn't hurt either. He will be proud to have such a beautiful partner by his side when you go out. Dress well, smell good, and look fabulous when you're with him. Whenever his friends or colleagues are amazed by your beauty, he will feel proud to be dating such a lovely and amazing girl.
Flirt with him. Men love the feeling of being desired and admired. The best way to do this is by flirting with him during the early stages of your relationship — or even after you've been together for years. Compliment his appearance, engage in playful teasing, or flirt subtly. But remember, the key is to keep it natural and sincere.
- Need some flirting ideas? Check out our article on flirting for some easy tips.
Stroke his ego. Men like to feel strong and important to their partners. You can do this by giving him opportunities to 'prove himself'. It might sound silly, but asking him to help with a task, even if you could do it yourself, will make him feel valued. For example, asking him to change a lightbulb or open a jar will boost his sense of importance.
- Some people might not fully understand your gesture, so make sure to compliment him when he accomplishes the task. A simple 'Wow, you're strong!' followed by a kiss on the cheek will go a long way.
"Although opinions may vary, generally speaking, men tend to need respect more, while women prefer to feel loved."
Elvina Lui, MFT
Relationship expert
Relationship expert
Show affection through touch. Sometimes, a gentle touch can convey love more effectively than words. Start incorporating more physical contact whenever possible. For example, when he says something you disagree with, playfully rub his head and say, 'Come on!' When you're spending time together, touch him more intimately. For instance, touch his shoulder and chest when you stand up, or lean against his legs when sitting, placing your hand there for a few seconds before pulling away. Greet or say goodbye with a hug. Finally, when you're ready to go deeper into the comfort zone, you can kiss him.
- Each time you touch him, ensure that it feels genuine — forced or insincere touches won't make him feel special.
- The 'limits' of touch depend on the level of comfort in your relationship. Don't feel pressured to push things further. Show affection with gestures that don't make you uncomfortable and allow your relationship to develop naturally.
Show interest
Be yourself. Nothing makes a guy feel more special than when his girlfriend shows her true self to him, revealing things that she doesn’t share with others. Be goofy, quirky, or even wild — anything that reflects your true nature! This demonstrates your comfort in being with him and encourages him to lower his 'guard' a bit.
- Timing is also key. Only lower your guard once you're sure you both like each other. Don’t rush to show every odd habit you have right away, as it might confuse him. Instead, gradually reveal who you really are so both of you have time to understand each other’s true selves.
Be confident. It may sound counterintuitive, but the more you trust yourself, the more your guy will feel valued. Don’t stress or worry about making him feel special. Instead, relax and just be yourself. Be friendly and genuinely interested in what he says, but don’t force a smile if his joke doesn’t amuse you. Maintain eye contact when talking, laugh if he makes you happy. Simple gestures like these show that you're confident in being with him and care for him.
- On the other hand, gestures like avoiding eye contact, looking down, or listening anxiously to every word he says can backfire. Men sometimes aren’t great at reading emotions, so if you seem nervous, hesitant, or silent, he may think he’s done something wrong.
Protect him. Men often feel pressured to project strength and confidence. If you can relieve some of that burden, he will appreciate it. For example, if someone disrespects him in public, don’t just stand aside waiting for him to handle it. Stand up confidently and defend him with your words and actions. This will make him feel that you're willing to step outside your comfort zone to protect him, showing just how much you care about him.
Support him when he's down. Men don’t have many opportunities to express their worries or emotions. They’ve been taught that showing vulnerability (like fear or crying) is a sign of weakness. You know this, and you should remind him that you will always be there for him. Offering a hand or a shoulder to lean on during tough times will make him feel more special than ever.
- Some guys may struggle to express their anxieties or fears right away, so don’t feel useless if he acts like everything is fine but clearly something is off. Offer your help (even if he refuses), showing that you care and are always ready to lend a hand. Be prepared when he finally asks for your help.
Advice
- You may not know: 'You can (and should) take the initiative to plan dates with your boyfriend.' Don’t just wait for him to take you out. These days, couples should share the responsibility of dating proactively.
- There are different opinions on showing affection in public. Some guys love to 'show off' their love by hugging and kissing their girl in public, while others feel embarrassed about it. If you’re unsure how he feels about this, just ask him directly. Also, be mindful of his reaction when you show public affection — he might say he’s fine with it but blush in embarrassment when you do it.
