Buzz
Move forward from the relationship while ensuring they regret letting you go
Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be incredibly challenging, and even after deciding to leave, the emotional pain may persist. You might hope that your ex feels remorse for losing you or simply want them to see how well you’re thriving without them. While you can’t control their feelings, there are steps you can take to demonstrate your worth and, more importantly, focus on your own healing. Keep in mind that only a qualified therapist can diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and not all individuals with narcissistic traits have NPD.
Steps
Completely sever all ties with the individual.
Step away and cease all communication to show that you’ve moved on. Implementing a no-contact rule is the most effective strategy, even though they might persist in trying to reconnect. To stay resilient and handle the emotional strain of ignoring your ex, practice deep breathing exercises. Additionally, consider stress-relief methods like mindfulness meditation or keeping a journal.
- If you share children with your ex or work together, complete cutoff might not be feasible. Limit your interactions strictly to co-parenting or professional matters.
- Reader Poll: We surveyed 611 Mytour readers, and 52% agreed that the best way to handle a manipulator is to sever ties and end the relationship. [Take Poll]
Become unattainable and prioritize your own happiness.
Redirect your focus inward to heal and progress. Avoid giving your ex the satisfaction of seeing you upset or vulnerable—this only reinforces their sense of control. If they reach out, don’t respond. If you must, politely let them know you’re occupied with other priorities.
- Explain that you’re unavailable to talk or meet due to a packed schedule. For example, you might be pursuing a new hobby like pottery, enrolling in a jiu-jitsu class, or planning a trip.
- Perhaps there are long-held goals you’ve neglected. Now is the perfect opportunity to focus on self-improvement and chase those aspirations.
Surround yourself with your support system.
Spending time with people who appreciate you can boost your confidence. This not only demonstrates to your ex that others value you but also reminds you that you’re supported and loved. With encouragement from those around you, you might find yourself ready to move forward, regardless of your ex’s opinions.
- If discussing your situation with friends or family feels uncomfortable, consider joining an online support group or seeking therapy.
Accept that they may never feel remorse.
Accept that you cannot control their emotions. Focus on moving forward, as your ex may not feel the loss despite your actions. They might miss the attention you gave them, but individuals with narcissistic traits often lack empathy. You deserve someone who truly values you. Picture a future with a partner who genuinely appreciates and respects you.
- If their self-esteem is fragile, they may never acknowledge their mistreatment, often rationalizing their actions to avoid guilt.
Mytour Quiz: Am I Dating a Narcissist?
While only a licensed mental health professional can diagnose Narcissistic Personality Disorder, there are clear warning signs to watch for. Take this quiz to assess your situation.
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How did they behave when your relationship began?
Avoid the temptation to seek revenge.
Staying composed and logical will aid your long-term healing. While it’s natural to want to retaliate against someone who hurt you, remember that moving forward and not letting them affect you is the healthiest choice—and it might even frustrate your ex more than any act of revenge could! Instead, accept the end of the relationship and prioritize your own happiness.
- Keep in mind that manipulative individuals often thrive on attention, so trying to belittle or expose them only fuels their behavior. Walking away is the one action they can’t control.
Allow yourself to mourn the relationship.
Embrace all the emotions you’re feeling. Recognizing that you were in an unhealthy relationship might lead to self-criticism for staying too long. Feelings of confusion, sadness, or anger are entirely normal. You can’t simply shut off your emotions for this person. Engaging in activities that help you reflect and process your experiences can be beneficial.
- Consider journaling, meditation, or yoga. Joining a weekly class can also provide structure and social interaction to support your healing.
Be thankful that the relationship has ended.
While happiness may feel out of reach now, remind yourself that you’re in a better place. Your time with the narcissistic individual likely included many moments where they diminished your worth, made you feel insignificant, or undermined your confidence. Celebrate the fact that you no longer have to endure their constant disrespect. Replace negative thoughts with affirmations like, "I deserve happiness," and "I am worthy of love and respect."
- Engage in activities that promote healing, such as gardening, running with a friend, or taking up kickboxing.
Share your joys and struggles with those who truly listen.
Open up to people who genuinely care about your well-being. If your ex tends to feel threatened by others’ success, they might downplay your achievements or take pleasure in your setbacks. When you face challenges or celebrate victories, turn to supportive friends and loved ones who will uplift and encourage you.
- While it’s tempting to flaunt your successes to your ex, it’s healthier to ignore them and celebrate with friends instead. Reaching out to your ex might give them the impression they still have control over you, and they may dismiss or undermine your accomplishments.
Live without fear or concern.
Stop wasting energy worrying about your ex’s opinions. True freedom comes when you stop letting their potential judgments dictate your actions. You’re no longer living to please or impress them, and that realization can be incredibly liberating.
- Keep in mind that just as you’re focusing on moving forward, your ex may be doing the same in their own life.
Seek therapy if you’re finding it hard to cope.
A therapist can guide you through the healing process. Ending a relationship with a narcissistic individual can be incredibly challenging. While you may know it’s time to move on, detaching emotionally can feel overwhelming. Therapy is a valuable resource for processing complex emotions, rebuilding self-esteem, and developing effective coping strategies.
- Your therapist might suggest group therapy, where you can connect with others facing similar experiences.
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Keep in mind that not all individuals with NPD are harmful or abusive, and many can effectively manage their symptoms through therapy and/or medication.
