How to Manage a Wedding

Planning a wedding requires attention to numerous tasks and a creative touch to ensure the big day for the bride and groom unfolds flawlessly. While some couples may choose to organize their wedding themselves, others might not know where to start and may ask for your help in planning. A skilled wedding coordinator must be a good listener and able to make wise decisions when overseeing the ceremony and guest management, which is the key to a successful wedding.

Define your role in the wedding. Some wedding planners are responsible for managing the entire process, while others only step in on the big day and serve as the master of ceremonies. Allow the couple to take on the responsibilities they wish to handle, while you focus on planning the rest.

• You should guide them and share your thoughts freely, but the final decision rests with the couple. For example, if you think a roasted pig in winter is a bad idea, explain the challenges, but respect their final choice.

Schedule a meeting with the bride and groom. If you plan to manage the wedding from start to finish, it's essential to get to know the couple as well as possible. You should take time to work with them to ensure that your decisions and plans for the organization and guest management will satisfy their expectations.

• You should meet with them at least three times and stay in contact throughout the process. The first meeting is to understand the couple's vision, the second for updates, and the final meeting, a few weeks before the wedding, to review all plans and schedules.
• The initial meeting should be informal—have dinner and coffee together to get to know them better. Ask about how they met, their dreams for marriage, and other personal details, as this will help you make more informed decisions.

Be prepared to offer suggestions. A great wedding planner should have knowledge of good reception halls, churches, catering services, and other wedding-related vendors. For example, if the couple asks for recommendations on a caterer that serves excellent vegetarian dishes, you should have at least five options ready for them, as that is your job.

• Your main task is research. As a wedding planner, you must be proactive, reaching out to food vendors and all other service providers necessary for the wedding.
• After visiting several locations, taking photos, and sampling food when possible, the couple will have enough information to make decisions. Make sure to leave your contact details with each vendor you visit.

Plan the initial details together. Once you have an idea of the wedding plans, compile a list of options before moving on to the next step. For food, decorations, venues, bands, and other elements, provide about 3-5 options for each.

• Sometimes, the couple may have differing opinions, but in some cases, they may give you full control over the decisions. Every couple is different.
• Package everything into 'Complete Packages.' For example, if you think a catering service pairs well with a specific floral decoration provider and a certain band, group them together in a package. Then continue doing this for the other vendors to make it easier for the couple to choose.

Schedule and organize additional events as needed. The bride and groom will play a significant role in your success. If you need to organize a rehearsal dinner or a post-dinner guest reception, schedule these events or decide together what other events should accompany the main ceremony. Here are some common events organized during weddings:

• Rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
• Pre- or post-rehearsal drinks
• Wedding photoshoot
• Venue tours

Keep in touch. As the big day approaches, the couple may become anxious and call you frequently, or they may remain quiet until the wedding is near. Reactions vary from person to person, but in either case, it's essential to stay in contact and update them on the progress of the arrangements.

• Eventually, there will come a point where changes can no longer be made. You must inform the couple that it's too late to modify choices such as the menu or services.

Find the perfect location. The main wedding ceremony can be held outdoors on a grassy field or inside a church, based on the couple's preferences. They may have already selected a specific venue or may only have a general idea, so it's important to gather the necessary details from them.

• Indoor weddings must follow the religious and denominational traditions of the couple. For example, you can't hold a Protestant wedding in a Catholic church, as this would surprise the guests. Some couples may prefer alternative venues, such as historical buildings or designated heritage sites.
• Outdoor weddings offer flexibility in location, such as a beach with wooden cabins, an apple orchard, a vineyard, or even a resort. Discuss ideal locations with the couple and compile available local options. Ideally, the venue should include both indoor and outdoor spaces for the ceremony and reception.

Select an officiant. The couple may already have an officiant in mind, or you may need to help them choose one. Depending on where the ceremony is being held, you may need to contact a local church registry to hire an officiant, or you may need to select someone from elsewhere.

• Typically, the couple will select their own officiant, but if they are unsure, ask about their religious affiliation. Then, contact local churches to schedule a meeting and find an officiant for the wedding.

Suggest music options. Most wedding services include a music program, and selecting the right songs and performances will add a touch of elegance and excitement to the ceremony. Since most couples are new to wedding planning, they may not know where to start, so help them by providing a curated list of songs and performances.

• Live performances, such as a band or solo singer, are common at weddings, with many artists offering their services. Alternatively, playing recorded music can also be an affordable option.
• Wedding services often include pre-ceremony music as the procession begins, followed by Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" ("Here Comes the Bride") when the bride enters. Other instrumental pieces often played at weddings include:
  • "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Arlen & Harburg
  • "Arrival of the Queen of Sheba" by Handel
  • "Wedding March" by Mendelssohn
  • "Canon in D" by Pachelbel

Recommend florists and decoration ideas. Wedding flowers should be arranged by a professional florist, so it's essential to know which florists are available in the area and research their service packages and pricing for the best choices.

• Discuss the primary color scheme for the bridal party's attire, which will help the couple select the right floral arrangements to complement the clothing colors.

Introduce a photographer. While photographers are easy to find, it's important to explore various options and create a price list for the client. The photographer's skill level, reliability, and professionalism are crucial factors.

• Take the time to call photography studio owners to determine who can provide the best quality, and recommend the best option to your clients.

Visit the wedding venue before the ceremony. The wedding planner must be familiar with all the locations involved in the big day. You need to ensure that the catering service is aware of the venue and timing for the reception, when the venue opens for business, and how many seats need to be arranged for guests.

Coordinate the rehearsal. This is the time when the bridal party rehearses the official ceremony, primarily focusing on the bride's procession. The rehearsal helps ease the couple’s nerves before the actual ceremony, but it’s important for you to coordinate timing between the various groups and individuals involved, so there are no delays or issues during the wedding. Your job is to organize a meeting with the officiant, inform the band and other stakeholders as needed.

• Time the bridal procession and assign the correct spots for everyone involved.
• On the wedding day, make sure everyone has your contact number in case of last-minute issues. Stay prepared at all times.

Strive to find and suggest convenient locations. Typically, it’s best to host the reception near the ceremony venue, perhaps within the same building, a neighboring area, or any other spacious and convenient location, depending on the wedding's scale. The reception should ideally be held indoors, in a space with a large enough hall to serve food and dancing. Below are some venues to consider locally:

• Wedding banquet halls
• Cultural centers
• Churches with reception halls
• Beautiful heritage sites
• Tourist resorts

Suggest catering services and menu options. The reception typically includes the following main components: serving food, speeches, dessert, and dancing. Once the dancing begins, your job is nearly done, so the food service is the most important aspect that needs to go smoothly. Ask the clients how they envision the meal and discuss feasible options.

• Research local catering providers and create a detailed menu plan with pricing. Include a variety of options ranging from budget-friendly to more extravagant choices. Some clients may be satisfied with chicken, while others may prefer more sophisticated dishes.
• Many receptions are organized as buffets, allowing guests to choose their own food, but some prefer a more formal sit-down dinner with waitstaff service. This requires more coordination from you, but also gives you experience with managing elegant events.
• You may also need to explore local bakeries or wedding cake suppliers. It's important to check the sizes, flavors, and designs available for wedding cakes.

Prepare tents, tarps, and seating if needed. If the reception is outdoors, it's common to rent circus-style tents from local suppliers. These can be set up up to 24 hours before the event at the designated location. Your responsibility is to secure a supplier for the tent and seating arrangements to accommodate all the guests.

Choose the music. Live bands or DJs usually handle the music for the post-reception entertainment. Not every couple has a clear vision for this part of the celebration, so you’ll need to research wedding DJs who can provide captivating performances and have experience catering to a diverse audience spanning various age groups.

Organize necessary tasks. Once the client has given you the go-ahead, begin planning the specifics by contacting catering services, florists, and other necessary vendors to ensure everything is in order for the couple's special day.

• It’s best to keep separate binders for each wedding to avoid confusion if you’re managing multiple events at once. You certainly don’t want to see the florist from one wedding showing up at another couple’s church ceremony.

Meet with the bride and groom a few weeks prior to the wedding. Determine the number of attendees from both the bride's and groom's sides and compile a list, or ask them to provide one. Discuss the seating arrangements for the guests and consider adding extra seating if needed.

• If you're not directly planning but are overseeing the tasks on the wedding day, ensure you have the most detailed and up-to-date information about the progress of the plans and the couple's wishes for their special day.

Create a comprehensive wedding day plan. Once the plan is ready, discuss the specific timings with the couple, then fine-tune them during the rehearsal. For example, when should guests line up? When will the ceremony begin? How long will the ceremony last? These are the questions you need to answer on the day.

• Set the timing for the procession and allocate time for the photographer to capture key moments.
• Stay calm and composed, as stress can lead to mistakes in handling catering, photographers, and even guests for other weddings you're managing. Try to compartmentalize each task and manage them separately.

Communicate the plan to each participant. It is your responsibility to ensure everyone knows where to be and when, not just the bride and groom. You will lead all activities and be the go-to person for any questions. Therefore, stay proactive during both the rehearsal and the wedding day itself.

Arrive early and leave last. As the coordinator, you need to oversee every detail of the wedding, from checking the presence of the catering team and band to managing seating arrangements, floral decorations, and the wedding procession.

• Delegate tasks when necessary. You cannot handle everything on your own, so guide others to lend a helping hand.
• One important task often overlooked in wedding coordination is managing parking. If the ceremony takes place at two different venues, ensure there’s adequate parking at both locations and provide clear guidance on where parking is allowed and where it's not.

Coordinate food service. Your responsibility is to contact and schedule with the catering service and the necessary staff about a week before the wedding and help resolve any issues that may arise. Always be prepared to handle any concerns that the food service team might have.

Stick to the plan. Each wedding has its own unique set of events during the reception, and it's difficult to ensure that everything happens exactly as planned. You’ll need to be both flexible and firm when reminding the bridal party to follow the established schedule, ensuring that everything wraps up on time.

• Try to schedule with a 30-minute buffer. You don’t want to be too strict, forcing everyone to follow the schedule. After all, it’s a celebration, and everyone wants to chat and share joyful moments with the bride and groom.
• If a certain part of the plan is running late, leave it to the bride and groom to decide whether to skip that step.