Buzz
Do you often find yourself tearful in awkward situations? Or do you experience bouts of anger over small, insignificant matters? Feeling overly emotional at inappropriate times can be frustrating and make private feelings suddenly public. Yet, you can learn how to control your emotions, allowing you to experience them fully when it is most fitting.
Key Insights
Take a moment to reflect on your emotions and the reasons behind them. Manage your feelings by engaging in activities like stretching, going for a walk, or speaking with a trusted friend. Life coach and author Kamal Ravikant suggests taking '10 deep and purposeful breaths…breath[ing] out whatever was inside' you.
Steps to Follow
Facing Your Emotions
Identify your true feelings. Often, the emotion we express doesn’t match what we’re genuinely experiencing. We might blame others for making us feel certain ways, like feeling foolish, insignificant, or unloved. Take time to discover what you’re actually feeling. What triggered this reaction? What does this emotion relate to? Reflect inwardly to uncover the real issue behind your emotional response.
Examine why you're feeling emotional. When you sense emotions like tears or anger building up, take a moment to stop and reflect. Ask yourself, 'Why do I feel this way?' Confronting your emotions instead of pushing them aside is the first step toward learning how to manage them.
- Understanding your emotions helps prevent self-deception. Rationalizing only leads to untruths and worsens the situation.
- Be truthful with yourself. Deceiving yourself won’t help in the long run.
Guide yourself with thought-provoking questions. When emotions overwhelm you, take a moment to ask yourself key questions before reacting. This pause allows you to calm down and think through the situation. Ask yourself:
- Will this emotion contribute to solving the issue?
- Is holding onto this emotion beneficial, or would it be better to let it go?
- Can I release this emotion?
- Is it possible to step away for a while and regain composure?
- Can I control this feeling to stay aware of my decisions and their consequences?
Identify your emotional triggers. Assess your life and habits to find patterns that may lead to intense emotional reactions. Keep in mind that you have control over your emotions and your actions. While external factors may provoke emotions, you hold the power to decide how you respond and feel.
- Are you more prone to emotional responses when stressed? If so, try managing your stress to reduce emotional reactions.
- Do poor sleep or eating habits affect your emotional state?
- Does exercise help you regulate your emotions?
- Do you become more sensitive in large crowds or unfamiliar settings?
- Does your work environment trigger emotional responses?
- Recognizing your emotional triggers can help you avoid situations that might lead to emotional reactions or prepare for them more effectively.
Managing Your Emotions
Give yourself time to unwind. Take regular breaks during the day to calm your mind. Stand up, take a brisk walk, stretch your body, read something uplifting, message a friend, or even write an email. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relieve stress. These moments of relaxation will help you stay grounded and composed, so you're better equipped to handle emotional situations that arise.
Step away from the situation. When you feel intense emotions bubbling up, distance yourself physically for a moment. Simply moving a few feet away from the situation can help you detach from the emotional trigger. This small shift allows you to redirect your focus, calming your mind, and providing you with space to approach the issue with more clarity.
- If you’re overwhelmed with tears, shaking in anger, or on the verge of shouting, step away. Go to the bathroom or a different room to regain composure.
- Reader Poll: We asked 746 Mytour readers, and 49% of them admitted that they typically respond to negative emotions by lashing out at others. [Take Poll] Instead of reacting impulsively, step back to calm yourself down.
Relax your facial expression. A tense face with furrowed brows can amplify your emotional reaction. A face clenched as if on the verge of tears might prompt them to spill. Instead, aim for a neutral or even a slight smile. While it might not completely ease your emotions, it can prevent tears or an outburst from escalating.
Pause and breathe before reacting. Taking a breath helps calm your body’s stress response, allowing you to make more thoughtful decisions. Deep breathing soothes your emotions and eases anxiety.
- Try inhaling slowly through your nose for four seconds, holding for two, then exhaling through your mouth for six. Repeat the process.
- Consider incorporating meditation and relaxation techniques into your routine. Regular yoga can help reduce stress and promote introspection on your emotional triggers.
- Breathing exercises can be especially useful when emotions hit unexpectedly. If you're overwhelmed with crying or anger, take a moment to breathe and restore your composure.
Avoid making decisions when emotional. In times of heightened emotions, it's best not to make significant decisions. Emotions cloud judgment, and you may not be in the best mental state to make thoughtful choices. Avoid answering challenging questions when you're feeling overly emotional, as you might say something you'll regret later. Instead, step away from the situation. Give yourself the space to process your emotions before deciding on anything important.
Examine your emotional response. When you find yourself reacting strongly, acknowledge that you are feeling excessively emotional. Then, take a moment to explore why you're reacting this way. Are you triggered by past sensitive experiences? Are you under stress? Is your reaction connected to this specific person?
- H.A.L.T. Ask yourself: Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? If you're hungry, eat something; if you're angry, take a walk; if you're lonely, talk to a friend; if you're tired, rest.
Build emotional resilience. Every day we face situations that are uncomfortable, unappealing, or critical. Sometimes how others treat us has more to do with their own issues than ours. Developing emotional resilience helps you face these situations without letting your emotions take over.
- Stay calm and don’t react immediately. Not everything requires a response. Let go of the small things and move on.
- Challenge exaggerated thinking. Strong emotions often distort reality, turning minor incidents into major problems. Learn not to dwell on these thoughts to avoid skewed perceptions of events.
- Understand why certain things upset you. Can you address the issue directly with the person involved? Is there a way to approach the situation calmly and respectfully?
- Take criticism gracefully. Use it as a chance to improve yourself. If you don’t agree with the critique, trust yourself enough to dismiss it. Criticism is inevitable, so learn to handle it without letting it affect you too much.
Determine if the person intended to hurt you. Reflect on the situation from the other person's point of view. Was their intention to hurt you, or were they trying to be helpful? Were they genuinely being cruel, or were they just unaware? If the person's intent wasn’t to harm you, focus on how you feel instead of their actions.
Consider the future. Ask yourself, "Will I still feel this way in an hour, a day, or a month?" Often, intense emotions are short-lived reactions. In the heat of the moment, things may seem catastrophic, but how often do you look back and wonder, "Why was I so upset or angry?" Always remember to look ahead.
- This approach will also make you reconsider your reactions. Think about what your boss, co-worker, or friend might think tomorrow if you overreact today.
Reach out to someone. If you're having difficulty managing your emotions, it's important to talk to someone. Whether it's friends or family, they care about your well-being and can provide support. Simply expressing yourself can help release some of the emotional tension. If this doesn’t ease your feelings, you might want to consider speaking with a therapist who can guide you through your emotions in a healthy and constructive way.
