Buzz
Everything You Need to Know for Keeping Things Fun & Flirty
Thinking of calling the guy you're interested in but unsure of what to say? Or perhaps you're wondering how to talk to the guy you're dating over the phone? Whether he's your crush or your boyfriend, knowing how to strike up a conversation can be tricky. Don't worry—this guide will provide you with fantastic conversation tips, so you can confidently make that call to the special guy in your life. You've got this!
This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview here.
Important Things to Consider
- Ask intriguing questions like, “What did you think of that assignment the other day?” or “What’s your all-time favorite movie?” to get the conversation going.
- Provide thoughtful responses and bring up new topics, such as, “Yes, that movie was amazing! I love comedies—what about you?”
- If you're feeling anxious, jot down a few topics or questions beforehand. That way, if you lose track of the conversation, you’ll have something to refer to.
Steps to Take
Talking to Your Crush
Relax by taking a few deep breaths. This is just a casual conversation, not an interview! Deep breathing is a proven stress reliever, so take a few moments to breathe before you call. Be yourself, and remember—if they don’t appreciate your humor or you just don’t click, it's okay! There's someone out there who will be a better match for you.
- Choose a comfortable, private spot, like your bedroom, to talk without interruptions. The more relaxed you are, the more confident you’ll feel.
- If you’ve been dropping hints that you like him, calling him is a great way to make it clear.
Think of some topics to fall back on if the conversation starts to stall. Bring up things like movies, sports, or video games you know he enjoys. If you’re nervous, writing down a few go-to topics can be a lifesaver. Once you start chatting, you'll likely find the conversation flows easily—picking up the phone is the toughest part!
- Ask him things like, “How was baseball practice last night?” or “What’s your term paper about?” to get him talking about his passions. These open-ended questions encourage more than just a yes or no answer.
- Get flirty with a question like, “What’s your dream partner like? What qualities do you love?”
- Reader Poll: We asked 833 Mytour readers about the best conversation topics for talking to a crush, and 62% said hobbies and recent fun activities were their top picks. [Take Poll] So, according to our readers, asking him what he enjoys doing for fun is a foolproof option!
Keep your greeting casual when he picks up the phone. Whether he answers, someone else picks up, or it goes to voicemail, think about how you want to introduce yourself. Since it’s your first time talking or you don’t chat often, make sure to mention who you are. Try something like, "Hi, this is Jake. How’ve you been?" or “Hey, it’s Anna, do you have a minute to talk about the science project?—It’s driving me crazy!”
- If it’s his voicemail, stay calm and leave a simple message like, “Hey John, it’s Eve. I just wanted to see what you've been up to. Talk soon!”
- If you’re feeling playful, leave a silly message like, “If you don’t hear from me, I might have been abducted by aliens. Or I might just be out!”
Ask thoughtful questions. When chatting with him, choose questions that require more than a yes or no answer. For instance, ask, “What did you think of that movie you saw last weekend?” or “What’s your favorite part of that new game you got?” This is when you can use your list of topics to help keep the conversation going and learn more about his interests.
- Avoid questions like “What’s up?” or “What’s your favorite color?”—they’re too vague and don’t leave much room for conversation.
- Examples of great questions: “I noticed your style is always on point. What inspires your fashion choices?” or “I saw you wearing a Steph Curry jersey. Are you a fan of the Warriors too? He’s one of my favorite players!”
EXPERT ADVICE
Joshua Pompey
Relationship Specialist
Relationship Specialist
Use stories about bad first dates as a fun way to break the ice. Nearly everyone has experienced a terrible date or received strange messages online. Sharing these experiences can spark conversation while also highlighting that you're nothing like those awkward situations.
Be sure to actively listen to him throughout the conversation. While chatting, it’s important to balance talking with listening—fighting for a chance to speak can be frustrating, even if the other person is just nervous. Being a good listener means focusing on his responses and chiming in when appropriate, whether it's sharing your thoughts or laughing at his jokes.
- Ensure you don’t interrupt him while he’s speaking, and wait for him to finish before you respond. Interrupting can come across as impolite, even if you're just trying to join in.
Respond with care. When talking to your crush, answer thoughtfully. Instead of just giving a yes or no, explain why. For example, if he asks, “You talk a lot about music. Do you have a favorite band?” you could respond with, “Yes, I love Tame Impala! I saw them live a while ago, and it was an unforgettable experience. What about you?”
- Other great examples: “No, horror films aren’t really my thing, but I do enjoy a good thriller every now and then. What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?” or “Yes, I love cooking! Pesto pasta is my go-to dish. What about you?”
- Giving detailed responses not only reveals more about you but also gives him opportunities to keep the conversation flowing.
End the call on a positive note. Find a natural pause and wrap up the conversation gracefully without sounding abrupt—this leaves him wanting more and makes him more likely to call you again. If there’s a lull, try something like, "It was so nice talking, but I’m about to meet my friends for coffee in a bit." This signals that you’re interested, but you also have your own plans.
- If you notice long pauses or feel like you're forcing the conversation, it’s probably time to end the call.
Talking to Your Boyfriend
Relax, he’s already into you! Even if you're dating someone, calling them can still be nerve-wracking. The good news is, there's no need to overthink it—knowing that your feelings are mutual is half the battle. As your boyfriend, he’ll be happy to talk to you on the phone, so try not to stress.
- Once you start chatting, your nerves will likely melt away—it’s just the initial call that's a bit intimidating.
Prepare a few topics before the call. If your previous conversations have been a little quiet, take a moment to think of questions or topics to bring up before calling your boyfriend. Did he mention a game he bought recently? Ask him what he likes about it. Recall small details from your last conversation to show him that you’re paying attention and care about what he says.
- Try asking, “How did that project you were working on last time go? It sounded so interesting!” or “Did you end up seeing that movie we talked about? How was it?”
- Remember, if you both struggle to find things to talk about, it doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t working—it might just mean you’re still getting to know each other.
EXPERT TIP
Joshua Pompey
Relationship Expert
Relationship Expert
Bring up something you’ve just experienced. For example, you could say, "I just got back from the gym" and then talk about your workout routine.
Make the first move and call him. There’s no rule that says you have to wait for your boyfriend to call you first! If something exciting happened and you’re dying to share it, or you just want to hear his voice, pick up the phone. As your boyfriend, he’ll be happy to talk to you. Start with something like, “Hey, I was thinking about you all day and just had to call!”
- If you’re not in the mood to make the first call, texting is a low-pressure option that could encourage him to reach out to you. Flirty texts like: “Wish you were here right now. What’s up?” or “Have you been thinking about me?”
- Talking on the phone about once a day, alongside texting, can usually help keep your relationship strong even when you're not physically together.
Ask him deeper, more meaningful questions to understand him better. Digging into more serious topics, such as his long-term aspirations or biggest fears, can help you get a clearer picture of who he really is and how you can support him moving forward. It also shows that you care about him beyond the surface level and are genuinely interested in all facets of his personality and dreams. Great questions to ask include:
- “I’ve always been terrified of heights—I even get nervous climbing a ladder! What about you? What’s something that scares you?”
- “I’ve always dreamed of becoming an entrepreneur—it’s important to me to create something of my own. What’s your biggest goal in life?”
Respond thoughtfully to his inquiries. Engage in the conversation by offering more than just simple yes or no answers. Showing your partner that you’re there for them involves actively listening to their words and offering empathy and meaningful advice when necessary.
- For example, if your partner asks if they should reconnect with an old friend, a great response could be, “That’s such a wonderful idea! The hardest part is reaching out, but once you do, I’m sure it’ll feel like nothing’s changed.”
Talk about shared interests. Struggling to find things to talk about? Why not bring up common interests! If you and your crush share a mutual love for something like a particular music artist, sports team, or movie genre, the conversation will flow effortlessly when you bring them into the discussion. Some examples include:
- “Soccer practice was such a blast today! By the way, who’s your favorite soccer player?”
- “I noticed you post a lot about art on your Instagram. I love going to museums! Do you have a favorite artist?”
- Get playful with, “I know we both enjoy a good time out. I’m curious—what would your ideal date be?”
EXPERT TIP
John Keegan
Dating Coach
Dating Coach
Shower him with compliments. When chatting with someone special on the phone, sprinkle in compliments like, "Your voice on the phone is like a melody to me." Be romantic and talk about things you’d love to do together. You can even share a story about something that made you think of him, creating a sweet moment of connection.
Truly listen to what your partner says. Sometimes, the best way to show support is simply to listen. When you give your boyfriend your full attention and ask meaningful follow-up questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “Can I help with that?” it shows you are a compassionate listener and a supportive partner.
- Remember, a quiet moment doesn’t mean the call is going poorly. Silence often signifies comfort, showing you enjoy each other’s company and don’t always need words to fill the space.
Wrap up the conversation on a positive note. Ending a phone call on a high note often leaves both people wanting more. Laughter can be your cue to exit—if your boyfriend tells a funny joke, laugh heartily and say something like, “Haha, you always know how to make me laugh! I’ve got to go now, but you just made my day!”
- To keep things cheerful, leave with a compliment such as, “I wish more people were as easy to talk to as you. Wish me luck on my next shift—take care!” or “I don’t know why everyone doesn’t have your taste in restaurants! About to go to a terrible place with my friend, but hey, it’s her pick!”
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Don’t stress if the conversation doesn’t flow as smoothly as you hoped. You can always try again, or have a more relaxed conversation with someone else who you naturally connect with.
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Avoid eating, heavy breathing, or engaging with other people while on the phone. It can come across as if you’re not fully present or interested.
