How to Move On from Someone

We've all experienced this feeling: even after you've parted ways with someone, their image seems to linger around like an unrelenting obsession. Whether it's the end of a romantic relationship or the termination of a friendship, it might take months, or even years, to rid yourself of their presence from your mind. The old memories and the 'what ifs' keep replaying if you don't take action to replace them with more positive thoughts. By letting go of the past, shifting your mindset, and creating new memories, you'll be able to move on from someone who makes you feel empty, angry, or sorrowful. Start with step 1 below.

Don't try to understand everything. Things seemed perfect before, but something happened that ruined it all. If you knew the cause of the issue, could you go back in time and fix it? The truth is, no. Our natural reaction is to try to analyze everything logically, but in reality, emotions rarely change because of one specific reason. If you keep dwelling on the past to find an answer, you'll drain your energy and become mentally exhausted. The past is over, and obsessing over it won't help you forget the person who made your heart ache.

• Try not to recall the past events. You're training your mind to constantly revisit those memories. The more you think about what has happened, the more you’ll continue to think about it.

Destroy the idolized image. Many of us have a tendency to let time smooth over someone’s flaws. Maybe you’ve forgotten all the arguments with your ex, and all you can recall is how magnificent her hair looked when you walked together under the sunlight, or the bliss you felt when night fell and you were by her side. You might think you’ll never get those feelings back with someone else. If you want to forget someone, you need to break down the pedestal you’ve placed them on and remember what truly belonged to them.

• Try writing down all the reasons for the breakup, whether it’s a friendship, a romantic relationship, or something entirely different. Be completely honest.
• It doesn’t have to be a long list of the other person’s negative traits. There are many legitimate reasons why a relationship ends. “We had different goals,” “She didn’t understand the real me,” “I was different back then.” Trust that there’s a reasonable explanation for a relationship’s end, regardless of who initiated the breakup.

Believe that you will move on. If the memories of the person you're trying to forget continue to haunt you, you might feel like you’ll never get over it. People often say, “Time heals all wounds,” so why isn’t your wound healed yet? It will heal. By reading this article and taking steps to change your mindset, you’re on the right track. You won’t achieve your goal overnight, but eventually, you’ll overcome it. You may not erase the image of that person from your memory, but you can certainly free yourself from their emotional grip, and you’ll be ready to move on.

Believe that tomorrow will be brighter. The idea that the best years of your life are behind you and will never return may just be a distorted perception. If you think that the person haunting your mind represents the peak of your life, then it's no surprise that you're finding it so difficult to let go. It’s time to return to the present, look to the future, and realize that there are still many things ahead of you.

• If you’re currently missing someone you once loved, there will come a time when you’ll be able to fondly remember those memories and the role they played in your life story.

Seek new experiences. To move on from someone, there's no better way than creating new memories. Those who have recently divorced, broken up, or experienced loss often spend time traveling and exploring new things. Fresh experiences can truly help you clear away the old cobwebs and regain your focus.

• Visit places you’ve never been, even if they’re just nearby cities.
• Try picking up a new hobby.
• Sign up for a class.
• Get out of the house more.
• Listen to new genres of music.
• Try a new restaurant.
• Become a tourist in your own city and visit spots you’ve never been to.
• Explore local parks and nature reserves.
• Visit a museum.
• Attend festivals and fairs.

Meet new people. Making new connections is a great way to erase the image of the person you’re trying to forget. Surround yourself with positive and inspiring individuals. Whether your goal is to make friends or find a romantic partner, meeting new people is a fun and exciting way to reconnect with the world. Your mind will be filled with new plans and possibilities, and the image of the person you wish to forget will fade away before you even realize it.

• Be strong.
• Make new friends.
• Keep living joyfully and meet someone new.
• Try to approach the situation with a light heart.

• If you are experiencing severe depression or having thoughts of self-harm, please seek help from a licensed therapist immediately.