How to Move On from Someone You Loved Deeply

Breaking up with a loved one or going through a divorce is never easy. It can make you feel like happiness is forever out of reach and that person was your only chance at love. But don't give in to those thoughts. With a little optimism, patience, and determination, you can always overcome the darkness that follows a breakup and rediscover joy.

Remove anything that reminds you of them. Eventually, there will come a time when thinking about your ex will no longer stir up intense emotions. But that moment is not now. At this stage, memories of your time together can trigger feelings of longing, sadness, and regret. Therefore, it is best to remove any items that remind you of the past relationship. If there are things you can't throw away, try storing them in a box and keeping them somewhere out of reach for a while. Here are some items you might want to look for:

• Your ex's belongings left behind
• Gifts they gave you
• Songs or mixtapes they made for you
• Photos, drawings, or illustrations that bring back memories of your ex

Avoid contact with them. Unless you're absolutely certain that you can be 'just friends' with your ex (and they feel the same way), it's best to avoid seeing them for at least one or two months. If you have to meet, keep the conversation as brief and polite as possible. This will be difficult, but it's crucial. Interactions could lead to awkward situations where both of you are reminded of the past relationship. You might even start flirting again, which is never a productive way to get over a breakup.

• Right now, this should also apply to any digital connections. Consider 'unfriending' or blocking them on social media (at least for the time being). You might also want to delete their contact information from your phone to avoid the temptation to text them.

Boost your mood with physical activities. Exercising is a great way to start feeling good about yourself after a tough experience. It's not only cost-effective but fun as well; it's been proven that physical activity can improve your mood and fight against depression. Even more, if you stick with it, you'll begin to see changes in your appearance and emotions, which will boost your confidence, making it easier to move on from sadness.

• Read some articles about fitness routines to get helpful tips on starting a new workout journey.

Lean on your support network. Being alone after a breakup is not a good idea. It's easy to fall into negative thoughts and self-criticism. Being around loved ones helps you gain perspective. Friends and family will offer you valuable advice (that you should listen to) and will be there to comfort and reassure you during tough moments. Remember that things won't get better just because people avoid talking about it.

• If you're not close to loved ones, take advantage of other options. Calling or talking through Skype can be very helpful. You might even make new friends, but don't rush into starting a new relationship.

Always value yourself. Remember that you are the most important person in your life. Keeping this in mind will make it easier to focus on yourself rather than the person you lost. Be confident in your positive traits and accept your flaws; everyone has their imperfections. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself. Happiness doesn't come from others; it comes from within.

• In fact, you might even start feeling pity for your ex. Losing you is something they'll regret once they realize just how valuable you truly are.

Accept that you once loved them, but now it's all in the past. Love can be completely real, even if it doesn't last forever. You may have loved someone deeply for a time, but eventually that love fades. The end of a relationship doesn't mean it was a waste of time. That love shaped you and became part of who you are. As the saying goes, it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

• A significant part of this acceptance is forgiveness. Forgive yourself for not being able to stay together. Forgive them for wanting to leave (especially if you're considering maintaining a friendship). Forgive either of you, or both, for the issues that led to the breakup. After all, both of you are just human.

Be proactive and organized. Once you've had some time to heal after the heartbreak, it's time to dive back into life. See your newfound independence as an opportunity to improve your life. Now is the time to achieve goals that will leave you feeling proud and more accomplished than before. Here are some examples:

• Fully commit to your work. Take on ambitious new tasks. Take on more responsibility. Ask for a raise or a promotion.
• Start a new hobby. Learn to play an instrument. Learn a new language. Start writing stories or journaling.
• Explore the world. Travel. Meet new people. Discover remote areas (with appropriate safety measures).

Open yourself to new relationships. After a tough breakup, it's wise to put off romantic relationships for a month or two to avoid emotional complications that often come with 'rebound' relationships. However, once you've had time to heal, consider talking to and caring for someone new. Initially, it may feel a bit painful or awkward. This is perfectly normal. Essentially, you're going through the process of detaching from someone you once talked to and saw regularly. This will gradually fade over time.

• When someone new comes along, be open to them. Don’t worry about past heartbreak to the point where you can’t enjoy life now. Even if it’s just a fleeting crush, it’s perfectly possible to feel something for someone new.

Live in the present. No matter how big the mistakes were in the past, you can't change them. What’s done is done. Accepting this can be difficult; some people are deeply afraid of letting go. However, as long as you keep focusing on the past instead of your current life, you won't truly be able to move forward.

• This will take time, so be patient. You may not be able to stop thinking about your past love for a while. But as long as you focus on yourself and don’t let yourself succumb to sadness and negative thinking, you will eventually begin to forget that person.

Look towards the future. There will be moments when it feels like happiness is no longer within reach. But as time passes, that thought will seem increasingly unrealistic. The truth is, you always have the potential for a brighter future ahead. There will always be new people to meet, new experiences to explore, and bright days to look forward to. Your happiness is not defined by what happened in the past, but by what you make of the future.

Let the memories of that person gradually fade away. Time heals all wounds. Right after a breakup, you may feel like you can't go a minute without thinking about how much you miss that person. However, over weeks and months, these thoughts will become less frequent. Eventually, you'll have a day where you no longer dwell on the sadness of your ex. In essence, you will ‘forget’ the heartache. When this happens, consider it a significant achievement. You did it! Life is waiting for you ahead.

• This doesn't mean you need to completely erase them from your thoughts. You can keep the memories of them in your heart, but they shouldn't hinder your life. They should be gentle, nostalgic feelings, like thoughts of someone you loved who passed away long ago.