How to Move On From Someone You Never Really Dated

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How can you move on from someone you never dated?

Why is it hard to get over someone you never dated?

What is unrequited love?

How long does it take to move on from someone you never dated?

Overcome Your Crush with this Expert Guide

Effective Strategies for Getting Over a Situationship or Crush

If you're heartbroken over someone you never actually dated, the process of moving on can be tricky. But know that your feelings are completely valid, and you're not alone in this experience. Dealing with unrequited affection is difficult, but with these tips, you'll be able to move past this person and perhaps even open yourself up to new possibilities. Below, we’ve gathered some of the best psychology-driven methods to help you move on, along with expert advice from licensed counselors and therapists.

How to Move On From Someone You Never Dated: Key Steps

Give yourself some distance from them.
Unfollow or mute them on social media.
Reach out to a supportive friend or family member.
Stay engaged in your hobbies and passions.
Take care of your well-being.
Focus on what lies ahead, not what's behind.
Allow your heart the time it needs to heal.

Actionable Steps

How can you move on from someone you never dated?

Take a step back and cut contact with your crush. To heal from heartbreak, it’s important to focus on new opportunities instead of holding onto the past. Cease communication with your crush to give yourself the chance to truly move on. If you're comfortable, kindly let them know you need some space for a while. Alternatively, if your connection is less defined, simply stop reaching out.

If you haven’t shared your feelings yet, you may not feel ready to explain why you need space. Remember, your well-being comes first, so it’s okay to take a break, even if they don’t understand.
If it makes things easier, you can make up an excuse like, "I’ve been swamped with work lately, and I don’t think I’ll be able to chat much."
Alternatively, if it fits the situation, you might explain directly: "I need to step back from our friendship because I have feelings for you, and I know you don’t feel the same. Spending time together makes me sad, so I have to prioritize my own feelings."
Continuing to talk to your crush may prevent you from healing. By shifting your focus away from them, you allow yourself the chance to recover and open up to new opportunities.

Mute your crush on social media. Constantly seeing your crush’s updates on Instagram, Snapchat, or TikTok can make it harder to stop thinking about them. Each time you come across their posts, you’ll be reminded of your feelings, and you may find yourself obsessing over what they’re doing. To avoid this, mute, block, or unfollow your crush on all platforms.

If you haven’t confessed your feelings and don’t want them to know, muting them is a good option. Muting silences their posts without notifying them.
If you've already had a conversation and want a clean break, unfollowing or unfriending them should be fine—they’ll probably understand your reasoning.
Consider taking a social media break altogether. If you're tempted to check their page even after unfollowing, a break from social media can help reset your mindset. Taking a break can also boost your mood and improve your mental health, which is crucial while recovering from heartbreak.

Stop dwelling on the past and let go of "what ifs." Constantly replaying the relationship in your head and fantasizing about what could have been can prolong your heartache. While nostalgia might feel comforting, it won’t help you move forward. Instead, focus on new possibilities. To make this easier, remove reminders, like old texts and photos.

If you think you’ll want to keep any messages or pictures, save them on a flash drive but delete them from your phone to avoid triggering your memories.

Remember why your crush wasn’t right for you. Start by listing the things about your crush that bothered you—whether it’s their lack of humor or empathy. Then, create a second list of qualities you would want in a partner, such as "loves to cook" or "super kind." Seeing these lists side by side will help remind you that your crush wasn’t your ideal match, and your perfect partner is still out there.

Imagining your dream partner can shift your focus toward the amazing person who awaits you, rather than lingering on the past.
Remember, there’s a whole world out there. Go find someone who embodies the qualities from list #2.

Challenge negative thinking and focus on positive thoughts. Heartbreak often brings negative self-talk, such as, "I shouldn’t feel sad since we didn’t even date," or "I’m to blame for falling for the wrong person." These thoughts aren’t productive, and they're simply not true. When you catch yourself thinking this way, stop and try to challenge it. For example:

Can you truly be heartbroken over someone you never dated? Yes, it happens more often than you might think. Your relationship status doesn’t define the pain you feel.
I can’t talk to my friends because it seems silly to be upset. Your friends care about you, and you deserve their support while you work through the heartbreak.
I never told this person how I felt. That was a mistake. You did what seemed best at the time. And it’s never too late to express your feelings.
I always fall for people who are unavailable. What’s wrong with me? Everyone has patterns to break in love. The fact that you recognize yours is a powerful first step. Just imagine how rewarding it will be when you finally change this habit!

Prioritize self-care. Heartbreak is tough, and during this challenging time, practicing self-care is essential to your healing process. Take care of yourself with whatever makes you feel best—whether it's a calming yoga session, pursuing your favorite hobbies, or spending time in nature. Here are some self-care ideas to get you started:

Take a peaceful walk at sunset.
Indulge in your favorite movie or show.
Listen to your favorite album from start to finish.
Wrap yourself in a weighted blanket and enjoy a soothing nap.
Light a relaxing candle and tackle the Sunday crossword.
Get active—try hiking, biking, or hitting the gym.
Explore a new hobby like cooking or crocheting.
Treat yourself to your favorite takeout or dessert.
Give yourself a spa day or a relaxing massage.
Incorporate practices like meditation or yoga into your daily routine.

Boost your self-confidence. When you feel good about yourself, it’s easier to embrace the future with excitement, making it simpler to move on from heartbreak. There are many ways to boost your confidence, but if you're unsure where to begin, here are a few ideas:

Licensed psychologist Susan Pazak suggests making a list of your best qualities. Write down ten things you’re great at, ten accomplishments you're proud of, and ten things you believe you could excel at. This will remind you of your potential and value.
Pazak also recommends creating a list of positive affirmations and meditating on them three times a day (morning, afternoon, and night). Affirmations like, "I’m smart, worthy, and capable" or "I deserve love" will help reinforce a positive mindset.
Set inspiring goals. Pick one major goal, like landing a new job, and break it down into smaller steps like "revise my resume." Write your goals down to keep track and stay accountable.
Volunteering can also be a great way to build confidence, says Pazak. Helping others reminds you of your valuable skills and the positive impact you can have.

Find humor in your day. As you process the pain of moving on, make it a point to seek out laughter and lighthearted activities that lift your spirits. Laughing regularly can help you better cope with stress, and it might even make the emotional weight of heartbreak feel lighter.

Spend time with friends who make you laugh. Anyone who brings joy and helps you feel carefree is great company. Try something playful, like an improv class.
Watch something funny. Whether it’s a comedy movie or a humorous podcast for your walk, laughter will help shift your mood.
Even by yourself, embrace the fun. Dance to pop music while you cook, make silly faces in the mirror, or find the humor in everyday moments.

Immerse yourself in your passions and interests. Keeping busy can help you avoid fixating on your crush and prevent negative thoughts about what might have been. By diving into new hobbies and activities, you'll nurture your spirit and progress toward your personal goals. This can boost your self-esteem and bring happiness, even in the absence of your crush.

Learn a new skill you’ve been curious about. Whether it's woodworking, ballroom dancing, sketching, or rock climbing—now's the time to dive in!
Spend more time doing what you love. Whether it’s exercising, cooking, or organizing your dream space, commit extra time to the things that bring you joy.
Focus on activities that promote personal or professional growth. Consider reading more, learning to code, or taking a creative class—anything that’s productive yet enjoyable.
Creative outlets can also ease your heartache. Create a playlist that reflects your emotions, write a short story about your experience, or bring a sketchpad to a peaceful walk and draw what you feel.

Reach out to friends and family. During heartbreak, it's vital to lean on your support system. "Embrace the pain with a trusted person," suggests counselor Casey Lee. "Whether it's sadness, anger, or fear, our emotions need to be felt completely with someone who will listen, support, and stand by us. This is when healing begins."

If you’re not in the mood for a serious conversation, plan something fun with your friends, like a trip to the zoo or a movie outing. A lighthearted distraction can be just as healing!
If you're unsure whom to talk to, consider joining an online group for those experiencing unrequited love. Talking with others who understand your pain can be comforting, and you may find yourself helping someone else along the way.

Be open to new romantic opportunities. The idea of fresh, exciting love can take your mind off past wounds. Although heartbreak is painful, don't allow it to prevent you from embracing the joy, hope, and thrill that new romance can offer. "Choose to believe that this too shall pass, and something or someone better is meant for your future," says Pazak. When the chance to meet someone new presents itself, take it. Even better, actively put yourself out there. You never know what exciting possibilities await!

If you notice someone attractive at a coffee shop, consider taking the plunge and leaving your number. What’s the harm?
If you’re open to it, try signing up for a dating app. If creating a profile feels overwhelming, ask a friend to help you out.
Don't let nostalgia hold you back. You deserve more than memories clouded with sadness—you deserve love. So, go out there and find it!

Talk to a therapist. Sometimes, heartbreak can trigger deeper mental health issues, and if that happens, seeking professional help is crucial. If you suspect you're struggling with depression because of your heartbreak, a therapist can provide valuable support. If you’re under 18, talk to a parent, teacher, or counselor about how to access treatment. If you're over 18, contact your doctor. Watch for common signs of depression, such as:

Persistent sadness, anxiety, or feelings of emptiness
Feelings of hopelessness, guilt, or helplessness
Fatigue or low energy
Difficulty sleeping
Increased irritability
Loss of interest in activities that once brought joy
Changes in appetite

Why is it hard to get over someone you never dated?

You might feel rejected. If you've had feelings for someone for a while but they don't reciprocate, it can lead to a sense of rejection. This emotional response can be tough to cope with. Research indicates that your brain processes romantic or social rejection similarly to how it reacts to physical pain.

If you find it difficult to move past these negative emotions, understand that you may simply be experiencing the common aftermath of rejection. Allow yourself the time to heal and treat yourself with compassion.

You may be putting them on a pedestal. In a romantic relationship, you become familiar with a person's flaws and quirks, which makes it easier to move on if things end. However, with unrequited love, it's easy to create an idealized version of the person you're interested in. "There's a lot of fantasy involved," says licensed clinical psychologist Jessica Behr, PsyD. Since you haven't seen their worst side, you may find it difficult to move on from this idealized image of them.

Behr suggests examining the fantasy you're constructing about this person and challenging it.
“Who are you imagining this person to be? What narrative are you telling yourself? Take a moment to enjoy the fantasy... and then let the reality of the situation sink in. What do you truly know about them?”
Once you differentiate between the idealized version and the real person, it may be easier to move forward.

You might feel like you didn’t get closure. After a breakup, both people can at least take comfort in the fact that they tried, even though it didn't work out. But if you're trying to move on from someone you never dated, you might feel like you didn’t even get a fair chance with that person, which can make accepting the end of the situation and finding closure more difficult.

You may still hold on to hope that they'll change their mind. If you still believe that your crush will one day develop feelings for you, letting go can be especially hard. The idea of you two together can pull you back into the fantasy, preventing you from accepting reality and moving on.

What is unrequited love?

Unrequited love refers to having romantic feelings for someone who doesn’t share them. This situation could manifest as having a crush on a colleague you barely know, harboring secret emotions for a close friend, or desiring to be with someone already in a committed relationship with another person.

Falling for someone who doesn’t feel the same is a common experience for many people.
In fact, a 2013 study revealed that unrequited love is four times more frequent than mutual love!
It’s a tough experience, but rest assured: you’re not alone. Everyone has faced it at some point, and you will heal!

How long does it take to move on from someone you never dated?

Everyone’s journey is unique, and some may take longer to heal than others. There’s no set timeline for getting over someone. “It really comes down to the individual,” says licensed clinical psychologist Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Focus on taking it day by day and prioritize your own healing process. Over time, the intensity of your emotions will ease.

Don’t criticize yourself if it takes longer than anticipated to heal, and avoid comparing your journey to others. Keep in mind, many people may seem “fine” before they’re actually feeling better.
If you’re curious about an approximate timeline, some studies indicate that it takes around 10-17 months on average to move past unrequited love.