How to Move On from Unrequited Love

Everyone has experienced unrequited love, and we all know that a one-sided relationship will never end happily. People often say that if you’re rejected, the best thing is to cut that person out of your life completely. But life isn’t that simple. Perhaps you both work together, study in the same class, or share a group of friends. So how do you forget someone?

You have the right to feel sad. Even though you might want to suppress your emotions and pretend they don’t exist, this is only a temporary solution. Your feelings won’t just “disappear” because you ignore them – they will come back even stronger, causing you more pain. Give yourself time and space to express your sorrow.

• Cry, punch a pillow, scream in your car, do anything that might help you feel better.
• Alcohol or other substances are not the answer. They might provide temporary relief, but in the long run, they only make things worse.
• Be careful not to stay immersed in sadness for too long. Eventually, you will need to heal. If it’s been weeks and you’re still unable to care for yourself properly (not showering, constantly crying, avoiding friends), it’s time to focus on improving your emotional well-being.

Remember, you can’t force them to return your feelings. Even though you may believe you're the only one worthy of their affection, the truth remains: they don’t like you. You cannot control someone else's emotions or dictate their life. No matter how many gifts you give, or even if you beg or scold them, feelings don’t change that easily.

• Keep in mind, they’re not intentionally trying to hurt you. They can’t make themselves like you either.

Give yourself some space. If you can, distance yourself from them for a while. You don’t have to treat them badly or push them away like an annoying pest, but taking a step back will help you think about them less. If they are part of your daily life, like a coworker or classmate, try to avoid encounters. Don’t sit next to them at lunch, don’t walk to class with them, avoid them as much as possible.

• This also means you should avoid them on social media. You can unfollow, unfriend, or at least hide their account. Constantly checking their Facebook/Instagram/Twitter will only make you miss them more.
• If they know you have feelings for them, let them know you need space, and ask them to respect that request.
• It’s hard to stay away from someone you really like, but it’s necessary if you want your feelings to fade.

Think about why you two are not a good match. List their flaws and the reasons why the two of you don’t belong together. The first reason on that list is: they didn’t return your feelings. A healthy relationship is one where feelings are mutual. You deserve to be with someone who loves you as much as you love them, not someone who is indifferent and uninterested.

• Write down everything, this list is just for you. Include the little things that bother you, like when they chew with their mouth open or constantly stand you up, leaving you heartbroken. Write it all down!
• Research shows that recognizing someone’s flaws helps you get over rejection faster.

Don’t blame yourself. Being rejected can easily make you feel like it’s your fault, but in most cases, this is more about the person who rejected you and their personal issues, not your fault.

• Don’t think that because one person doesn’t like you, no one else will ever love you.
• Remember, everyone faces rejection at least once in their life. It’s a common experience, and you’re not the only one, so don’t be sad if they didn’t return your feelings.

Reconnect with old friends or make new ones. If the person you're into is part of your friend group or used to be a close friend, this is a great opportunity to expand your social circle. Reach out to people you haven’t seen in a while and invite them to hang out, or try striking up a conversation with someone new in your class and see where it goes.

• Focusing solely on the person you like can limit your social interactions. You might feel like no one else matters or that no one else can make you happy. But meeting new people will show you that's not the case.
• Don’t isolate yourself. Even if you feel like being alone, spending time with others will help you think about them less and let the image of that person fade.

Enrich your life with new activities and hobbies. Keeping yourself busy is a key step in moving on from someone and shifting your focus elsewhere. Don’t let yourself get stuck in negative thoughts about the past.

• Volunteer or get involved in charity work.
• Go see a movie, listen to upbeat music, read an interesting book, work out, or try learning a dance.
• Start a creative project like writing a book, composing a song, reciting a poem, painting, or learning a new dance move.
• Focus on your studies or career development.

Always keep a positive attitude. When you smile, your brain releases endorphins, which boost your mood. Spend time with people who make you laugh and engage in activities you enjoy. You can go karaoke with friends, visit an amusement park, play a sport you’re good at, or exercise to increase your endorphin levels.

• Watch a fun movie, hilarious internet videos, or even funny gifs.
• Smiling also helps you endure pain. When you’re dealing with emotional wounds, your brain is activated in ways similar to physical pain. Smiling can ease that hurt.

List the things you like about yourself. After facing rejection, you might feel less confident and focus on your flaws. Thoughts like, 'They don’t like me because of this or that' will only cause you more pain. Focus on your positive qualities. Write down your accomplishments, the good things you’ve done, and what you love about yourself.

• If you can’t come up with anything, ask your friends or family for help.
• Are you generous and mature? Do you always listen and are reliable? Write it all down.
• Read this list over and over, especially when you feel down.

Everything takes time. Your feelings won’t vanish overnight. There will be days when you feel sad and don’t want to do anything, but trust that there will also be days when you start to feel a glimmer of hope. Believe that time will heal everything, even if that sounds cliché. This painful feeling will eventually fade.

• If it's been months and your feelings are still as strong as before, you might need some help.

Talk to someone if you can't let go of your feelings. If you’ve tried to move on and take the next step, but your heart still keeps going back to that one person, talk to someone. It could be a close friend or someone you trust, or even a therapist: they can provide methods to help you cope with your emotions.

Look for someone new. When you're ready, you can start looking for someone who might be a better match for you and more likely to reciprocate your feelings. Don’t rush into a new relationship or date someone just to fill the void—doing so while still clinging to your past crush will only cause more harm, and you’ll hurt the new person too. Focus on your positive qualities and remind yourself that you are an amazing person deserving of true love.

• When you start feeling better, you won’t get emotional every time you hear their name.
• You’ll gradually think less about them.
• One day, you’ll realize that you and that person were never meant to be.