Buzz
It is often said, "Words are like the wind," but this isn’t always the case. When someone calls you a derogatory name or belittles your abilities, it can deeply affect your emotions. Therefore, it is important to learn how to let go of painful words by diminishing their power, boosting your self-esteem, and healing your emotions.
Steps
Confronting hurtful words
Don't worry about it. What others say is their issue, not yours. Sometimes, when someone is hurt, they may lash out and say hurtful things to you. People can behave like this from time to time. This is often done without much thought, and the person may regret their words later.
- If someone says something hurtful to you, try to think that perhaps they are the ones hurting. Show empathy towards them instead of holding onto their words.
Understand the person who hurt you. If someone says something that hurts you, react gently by acknowledging who they are, rather than focusing on their words. Whether they intended to or not, this approach may help them calm down and recognize that their words have caused you pain.
- For example, you could say, "Wow, I'm really shocked to hear someone as kind as you say something so hurtful."
Set a time limit for dwelling on the pain. Instead of repeatedly replaying the hurtful words in your mind, set a limit for how long you’ll allow yourself to feel the pain. Decide to only be upset for a specific amount of time and then let it go.
- For example, you might usually spend hours or even days feeling upset about someone’s negative comments. Now, dedicate just 10 minutes to reflect on your emotions and acknowledge the hurt. Once the time is up, let go of those thoughts and never bring them up again.
Write the hurtful words down and then destroy them. If you prefer clarity, you can reduce the impact of hurtful words by breaking them apart. Write the words down on paper. Then, tear the paper up, burn it, or cross out the text with a pencil or pen.
Replace with a positive comment. Use positive language to counteract the effects of negative words. This is effective because you push back negative thoughts in your mind with uplifting words that inspire you.
- For example, if someone criticizes your appearance, replace it by telling yourself, "I am unique, and I am always special and one-of-a-kind."
Boost your self-confidence
Become stronger through hurtful words. What lesson did this situation teach you? Assess the words and see if you can take something meaningful from them. Ask yourself why those words hurt you and how you can handle them going forward.
- For example, if someone says, "You're so weak," you may feel sad or angry. However, if you actively learn to protect yourself or build mental strength, those words will no longer cause pain when you hear them.
Use your experience and perspective to help others. Hurtful words often stem from pain or insecurity. Think about what the person might be going through and consider how you could help or support them. You can also boost your own confidence by reaching out to those who have been hurt by others' harsh or thoughtless words.
Prioritize your thoughts. Your confidence often wavers when you allow others to control your emotions. Don't put too much weight on what others think of you. Instead, put your own thoughts and beliefs at the forefront.
- For example, if someone tells you, "You won't succeed," but you don't believe it, remind yourself of your own mindset. You can say to yourself, "That's not true. I believe I will achieve something great."
Accomplish tasks to feel more confident. How you perceive yourself and your abilities is closely tied to your self-confidence. You can increase your confidence by taking on more challenges. Think about a goal or task you want to achieve, then break it down into smaller steps so you can tackle them one by one.
- For example, if you want financial independence, start by finding a job. Next, look for affordable housing that fits your income. Then, open a savings account or invest in stocks to create long-term financial growth.
- Successfully completing each step will help you feel more confident and trust that you can take on new challenges.
Take a deep breath and repeat a mantra to boost your motivation. Deep breathing is a great way to feel more relaxed. When paired with a positive affirmation, this exercise can help you strengthen your self-confidence and belief in your abilities.
- For example, breathe in through your nose and whisper, "I am inhaling trust and confidence." Hold your breath for a few seconds, then exhale while telling yourself, "I am releasing negativity and doubt."
Healing your emotions
Practice self-love every day. Ignoring your emotions will only bring back the pain. Counter negative comments or actions from others by treating yourself with love and kindness. This can be achieved in many ways, such as making a list of your favorite positive activities. Then, commit to completing a few of them each day.
- For example, you may enjoy preparing healthy meals for yourself, walking your dog by the lake, or meditating before bed.
Learn from experience. Every argument or painful experience offers something to learn. After you get through the pain, take time to reflect on what happened. Consider questions like:
- What’s happening in that person’s life, or in your relationship with them, that triggered their harsh words?
- Is there a lesson in those words that could be useful to you, even though they were said bitterly or without any constructive intention?
- If someone says something similar to you in the future, how would you respond?
Surround yourself with positive people. Positive people radiate positive energy, whereas negative people do the opposite. Consider reducing your time around negative or critical individuals who belittle or criticize you. Instead, spend time with those who stand by you and appreciate you.
Engage in activities you love. A great way to heal emotionally after being hurt is by engaging in enjoyable activities. Pick a hobby, join a new club or organization, or revisit something you've neglected for a while. Make time each day or week for activities that bring you joy.
- This could be pursuing a passion, teaching others a skill you excel at, or simply improving your skills in sewing or gardening.
Give more. Quickly heal your emotions by doing more good for others. Try to create positive connections with the people in your life or your community.
- Engage positively with those you care about by showing your appreciation for them and letting them know the good things you see in them. For example, you could say "Minh, you've helped me so much. I don't know what I would do without you."
- You can also do this through acts of kindness, like helping a neighbor with something or treating the person behind you in line at a restaurant to lunch. You can also spread positive energy in your community by volunteering or making charitable donations.
Write in a journal to better understand your emotions. Writing down your thoughts can clarify what's happening in your inner world. Moreover, when you write down harsh comments, the feeling of torment decreases. Start the habit of journaling by dedicating a few minutes to write each day.
- You can write about your day, follow prompts from a journaling app, or jot down a few things you're grateful for.
