Buzz
For couples in the early stages, Valentine’s Day can feel as out of place as a 10-ton gorilla attempting ballet. With your emotions still fresh and uncertain about where the relationship is heading, navigating this holiday can bring on some anxiety. Whether you’ve been on one date or have been seeing each other for a few weeks, the red-themed holiday can even make the most confident dater question how to approach it. However, simply discussing the day or opting for a casual gift or plan can alleviate the tension and turn the experience into something enjoyable.
Steps
Talking About It and Making a Plan
Skip it if it’s too soon. If you’ve only been on a couple of dates, it might be best to skip Valentine’s Day entirely. Jumping into a holiday that celebrates romance might overwhelm your date, so it could be a good idea to hold off for this year.
Consider what you truly want. Reflect on how long you've been together and what you realistically expect from the other person. If a simple dinner and card seem like a good idea, get a card and invite them to dinner either on the day or around that time.
Have a conversation with your new crush. A great way to relieve the pressure is by talking openly with your crush. You can suggest keeping things low-key since you're still early in the relationship, and you can make a plan for a nice dinner or outing if you're interested.
- For example, you might say, "Our relationship is still pretty new. How about we keep Valentine's Day simple? We could skip gifts, though cards are fine. Would you like to have a nice dinner together?"
- Ask them how they feel about Valentine's Day. Some people don't enjoy the holiday and see it as a commercial gimmick. It’s a good idea to gauge their feelings before making any plans. You could say, "I know we’re still getting to know each other, so I thought we could discuss what we want to do for Valentine’s Day. Do you enjoy the holiday, or would you rather skip it?"
- Talk about how new your relationship is and how awkward it might feel to celebrate this very romantic holiday when you're just starting out. It’s perfectly fine to let them know that you understand if you're both not ready for grand gestures yet. For example, you could say, "Valentine's Day is coming up, and I’m not sure how to handle it since we haven’t been dating long. What do you think we should do? I know we're probably not ready for poems or love songs, haha, but I wanted to bring it up."
- If you both agree, you can decide to skip Valentine's Day altogether.
Find a middle ground. If you both have different ideas, try to meet halfway. For example, if your new crush prefers something more formal but you'd rather keep it simple, consider a nice home-cooked dinner. If you're into grand gestures but they feel uneasy about it, dial it down. A good connection should allow for reasonable compromises.
Choosing a Gift or Card
Keep it simple. At this stage in the relationship, you don’t want to go overboard and scare them off. A diamond necklace is too much if you’re still getting to know each other. A bouquet of flowers or a nice box of chocolates, however, is likely to be appreciated.
- Keep the gift under $50 if you’ve only been dating for a month or two.
- It’s also wise to avoid any gifts of a sexual nature, like lingerie. You don’t want to make the other person uncomfortable at this point.
Choose a cute card. You may not want to go too sentimental just yet, but a mix of light-heartedness and charm is totally fine. Instead of choosing a card with a deep message like "I'll love you forever!", go for something fun like "I think you're cute!" or "You make my heart go pitter-patter!"—that strikes the right tone.
Bake something special. Another sweet idea is to bake a treat for your new crush. A batch of brownies or cookies shows you care, but without going over the top or spending too much money.
Gift a favorite book or movie. This gesture is personal, as you’re sharing a bit of yourself with the other person. But it’s not too intense to be overwhelming. It’s thoughtful and sweet, without going overboard. Just make sure you know whether they prefer digital books or physical ones, or how they like to watch movies. You can even make it extra special by watching the movie together on Valentine’s Day.
- If you're giving a book, don’t forget to add a note inside the cover explaining why it means something to you. It’s a two-in-one gift that doubles as a card!
Go for the classic gifts. Flowers, chocolates, and wine are timeless choices, but try to give them with a unique twist. For example, instead of a bouquet, you could opt for a lovely potted plant that will continue to grow, or a small succulent garden. If you know their favorite candy or wine, wrap it in a thoughtful, personalized way.
Choosing an Event
Consider just having drinks. A relaxed and low-pressure way to celebrate Valentine’s Day could be by simply having drinks together. If alcohol isn't your thing, coffee works just as well. This way, you avoid the expectations of creating an overly romantic atmosphere.
Try cooking a lovely meal. If you’re at a point in the relationship where you want to do more than just drinks, consider cooking a homemade meal for your partner. It’s a more personal and thoughtful alternative to a fancy dinner, showing you’ve put some effort into it without the high cost of dining out.
Enjoy a casual lunch or daytime activity. There’s no need to limit yourself to a nighttime date! A lunch or daytime activity can be just as enjoyable, and it takes the pressure off creating a romantic evening. Keep it light, fun, and relaxed for a memorable experience without the intensity of the night.
Go out near the holiday. If you're still getting to know each other, you might want to acknowledge Valentine’s Day without going all out. With restaurants packed and the pressure of the holiday looming, it might be better to go out a day earlier or later. That way, you can still enjoy the day without the overwhelming pressure.
Take a walk in the park or enjoy a picnic. For a simple, no-pressure date, consider a picnic in the park. It’s relaxed, and you can enjoy each other’s company without the formality of a restaurant. Plus, if you’re playful, you can even enjoy some time on the swings or other park features.
Remember it's just one day. Valentine’s Day is made special by societal norms, but at its core, it’s just a single day of the year. Don’t stress about it, especially if your relationship is new. If your connection is meant to last, there will be many more Valentine’s Days to celebrate together, and in reality, every day spent with someone you care about can be a celebration of love.
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Don’t overthink gifts or grand gestures on Valentine’s Day if you're a new couple. Instead of getting caught up in the romance, focus on building trust and friendship with your partner.
Warnings
- If you and your partner can't reach an agreement on how to approach Valentine’s Day, it might be best to take a step back or even take a break that day to avoid any potential misunderstandings.
