How to Overcome Jealousy

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Ngày cập nhật gần nhất: 15/4/2026

Content

Controlling Immediate Jealous Feelings

Focus on other aspects

Improve your life

Jealousy is a completely natural feeling that can arise from time to time, and it might even motivate us to push ourselves further. However, if you often feel frustrated by jealousy when seeing others' posts about fashion, careers, or cars on social media, it's time to address the issue. It could also be that jealousy is making you paranoid and causing issues in your relationship. This emotion isn't always easy to control, but most of us must keep moving forward with a sense of security and confidence. Work on overcoming envy, set new goals, and improve yourself. You can do it!

Steps

Controlling Immediate Jealous Feelings

Take a few deep breaths. You might have noticed your boyfriend talking to a strange girl or found out that a friend just bought the car you've been dreaming of. Instead of letting jealousy take over, try to calm yourself. Take a deep breath through your nose for 5 seconds, then slowly exhale through your mouth. Continue breathing until you feel composed again.

If you want to address the situation, only do so once you’ve calmed down. For example, if you see your boyfriend talking to a girl, first regain your composure, then approach both of them and greet them. The girl might just be a friend or someone from his class.

Avoid social media. Social media is full of images where people share life moments with each other, making others feel envious. However, you never know if the girl constantly posting pictures of bouquets her boyfriend gives her might actually be sad about their relationship. People tend to showcase only the shiny things in their lives to display an optimistic, perfect image. Therefore, when trying to manage jealousy, it's best to avoid social media.

If you can't stay off social media, unfollow or remove friends who trigger feelings of envy in you.

Avoid criticizing or mocking. When feelings of jealousy arise, you might lash out with insults or try to downplay someone else's accomplishments. However, these reactions only highlight your insecurity and make others uncomfortable. Instead of being negative, try complimenting them or just stay silent.

For example, if your girlfriend tells you about a new colleague, don't say things like, 'Oh, he's that smart? I bet you want to hang out with him now, huh?' Let your partner talk freely without fearing your rude reactions.

Confess your feelings if the person is a close family member. If you've secretly harbored jealousy towards your siblings, best friends, or partner over the years, it's time to open up. Speaking your truth will help you rid yourself of negativity and lighten the heavy atmosphere.

For instance, you might say, 'Nghĩa, I know I've been a bit harsh with you lately, but I felt really sad when I failed the university entrance exam, and you passed with top honors. I'm envious of the life you have, the one I've always dreamed of. I know it's not your fault. I just wish I didn't feel this way.'

Focus on the similarities between you and the person you're envious of. Try to eliminate jealousy by looking at the common ground you share with them. The more similarities you have, the fewer reasons you'll find to feel jealous!

For example, you might envy your neighbor for their fancy car. But remember, you both live in the same neighborhood, and maybe your houses are quite similar. Perhaps you both attended the same school and have mutual friends.

Focus on other aspects

Identify the cause of your jealousy. Understanding why you're feeling jealous can help you overcome it. Are you feeling insecure or anxious? Have you been insecure? Or perhaps betrayed before? Or maybe you have unrealistic expectations in your relationships? Once you identify the root cause, think about ways to improve or address it.

Writing a daily journal could help you uncover the source of your jealousy.
Professional therapy can assist in this process. A therapist can help you identify the underlying issues and guide you through overcoming them.

Compliment others when they succeed. Jealousy won't get you closer to your goals. When you see someone achieve something you desire, praise them. This act shows respect and humility.

For example, if your friend has a dream career, say something like, 'Hương, your job seems great. It looks like you get promotions and bonuses often. You’re amazing! Any advice for me?'
Or, if your boyfriend has recently been more affectionate with you, express how happy you are that he’s doing that.

Focus on your strengths. Instead of dwelling on what others are doing, focus on yourself! Take some time to list at least three strengths you have, whether it’s your talent for organizing, cooking, listening, or your strong work ethic.

Each day, try doing something related to your strengths to build confidence, like cooking a delicious meal.

Create a list of the good things you're lucky to have. Every morning you wake up is a blessing. Each day, reflect on one thing you're thankful for. By doing this, you’ll lessen feelings of jealousy because you’ll start to appreciate what you already have.

Maybe you have a wonderful mother who loves and supports you, or you’ve passed the entrance exam to a prestigious university and soon will begin pursuing your dreams. Be grateful for all the good things in your life!

Practice meditation daily. Meditation can help clear your mind and focus on what's important. Jealous thoughts can cloud your mind, but you can clear them to some extent by sitting quietly in a peaceful spot for at least 10 minutes every morning. During this time, focus only on your breath and the sensations in your body.

If you're new to meditation, you can try apps like Simple Habit or Calm.

Take control of decisions. Imagine you have a wealthy friend who frequently invites you to fancy restaurants or to go on extravagant trips. This might trigger feelings of jealousy about their wealth. Instead of letting jealousy take over, reclaim control! Choose more affordable restaurants, and if your budget doesn’t allow for extravagant travel, consider exploring local places instead.

You can say, 'Hey Bảo, I’d love to dine at a five-star restaurant with you, but honestly, it’s a bit beyond my budget. If you still want to go out every week, would you mind letting me choose the place? I hope you understand.'

Distract yourself from jealousy with daily pleasures. You won’t have time to feel jealous when you’re out enjoying life! Plan something to look forward to every day, whether it’s watching a favorite show, enjoying a delicious ice cream, or going shopping. Life is short, so make the most of each day!

Improve your life

Set both short-term and long-term goals. Turn your feelings of jealousy into motivation for self-improvement. Based on your life dreams, create actionable steps to reach those dreams. Set goals you can achieve in the next five days and longer-term objectives for the next five years.

For instance, if you dream of a high-paying job, your short-term goal could be to get an A in all your classes this semester. Your long-term goal might be to find a mentor or secure an internship related to your field of study.

Find an enjoyable hobby. Maybe you feel envious because it seems like everyone around you has their own hobby. Create your own fun! Plan a weekend trip with your partner, visit an amusement park, or take a stroll on the beach. Do whatever brings you joy!

Take care of yourself. When you focus on your own health, you'll pay much less attention to others' affairs. Build self-confidence by exercising at least three times a week. Follow a healthy diet with vegetables, fruits, and lean meats. Ensure you get at least 8 hours of sleep every night.

And don’t forget to drink plenty of water!

Surround yourself with positive people. Your feelings of jealousy might stem from hanging out with people who intentionally make you feel envious. This is not a good situation. Instead of associating with negative people, spend more time with kind, genuine, and humble friends!

Positive people are supportive, honest, compassionate, and ready to help you. Negative people often criticize, complain, and drain your energy.

Consider therapy to address jealousy. If jealousy prevents you from enjoying life, it might be time to seek help. Many trained therapists specialize in helping individuals overcome feelings of jealousy or inadequacy. Remember, there is nothing wrong with seeking help! It’s much worse to silently endure these feelings.

Search online for therapists in your area. You can also ask your doctor or insurance company for recommendations.

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