How to Overcome Obsessive Thoughts

Being obsessed feels like being stuck in a tunnel: you lose the ability to focus on anything other than the object of your obsession. Obsession becomes part of your daily life, often linked to fear. Obsession differs from addiction, a state where a person never feels satisfied unless indulging in the addictive object. Overcoming obsession isn't easy, but once you learn how to stop fueling it and shift your energy to new people and hobbies, you will achieve freedom. Read Step 1 to learn how to control obsession so it doesn’t influence your thoughts and actions.

Distance yourself from the source of the obsession. When you’re obsessed with someone or something, being near them makes it impossible to think of anything else. The closer you are to your obsession, the harder it is to stop thinking about it. Creating physical distance will help establish mental distance. It will be tough at first, but gradually you will notice the obsession fading with each passing day.

• Being obsessed with someone is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. You should minimize contact with the person you are obsessed with. Distract yourself with other things and focus on more interesting activities.
• You might be obsessed with a past time, such as playing a favorite video game. In this case, you should remove the game from your sight by uninstalling it or asking a friend to hold onto your gaming console until you overcome the obsession.

Stop nurturing the obsession. Fostering an obsession might offer temporary comfort, but it will make breaking the habit much harder. Simply thinking about the source of the obsession puts you under its control. To break free, you need to drain its power. For instance, if you are obsessed with a celebrity, stop talking about them with your friends. Stop browsing Twitter or imagining you're dating them. The more space you give to the obsession, the faster it will 'consume' you.

• Stopping the nurturing of an obsession isn't easy. You’ll find yourself playing a psychological game, like telling yourself to look at someone's Facebook page one last time before letting go. But if you want to lessen the obsession, you must stop as soon as it grips you.
• Sometimes, the obsession is so strong that you can’t seem to escape it. No matter how hard you try, thoughts about the obsession linger. In such cases, don't be too hard on yourself, take it step by step to overcome it.

Distract yourself from obsessive thoughts. There’s a time and place to reflect on topics you enjoy, so why stop now? Remember, you're aiming to overcome the obsession: you can surpass it and still enjoy life’s wonders. When obsessive thoughts arise, distract yourself to shift focus. Here are some helpful distractions:

• Exercise to get your brain working. Running or walking might not be ideal, as you'll have time to dwell on your obsession. Try hiking, cave exploration, or playing sports that engage both body and mind.
• Fiction works well to divert your attention. Pick up a new book or watch a movie with no connection to your obsession.
• If your mind is drifting and urgently needs distraction, try playing music, calling a friend (to talk about anything other than the obsession), reading the news, or returning to work.

Focus on what you’ve neglected. When obsessed, you may lose time for other important aspects of life, such as work, relationships, or personal hobbies. Dedicate time to these areas of your life so you have less room to dwell on your obsession.

• Rebuilding neglected relationships is an effective way to overcome obsession. Friends and family will be happy to see you back, offering fresh ideas and exciting topics. The thought of change is a positive one!
• Many choose to immerse themselves in work to forget the obsession. No matter what your job is, focus on performing it to the best of your ability.

Learn to live in the present. Are you a daydreamer? Do you spend countless hours thinking about a person or something that haunts you? When you sit still but your mind wanders elsewhere, you miss what’s happening around you. If you're ready to let go of your obsession, you need to practice mindfulness. This means focusing on the present rather than dwelling on the past or future.

• Use your senses to take in your surroundings. What do you see, hear, smell, or taste right now? Pay attention to what’s happening in the moment, rather than reflecting on past events.
• Listen attentively during conversations. Let yourself absorb the dialogue instead of letting your mind drift away.
• Use mantras to help keep you focused when obsessive thoughts arise. Repeating simple phrases like "Breathe," "Connect Now," or "I’m here" can help redirect your thoughts to the present moment.

Try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This therapy suggests that there is no way to completely stop thinking about your obsession, but it weakens the connection between obsessive thoughts and daily triggers. It helps you better cope with life and thoughts through action, making it easier to manage your obsession.

• CBT is used to develop language or actions that 'break' obsessive thoughts and allow you to focus on other things.

Strengthen your relationships with others. If you find yourself obsessed with someone, spending time with others is one of the best ways to change. The energy you’ve been focusing on your obsession can now be channeled into getting to know someone else. Enroll in a class, socialize at a dog park, or start a new friendship. Getting closer to others will help you realize that there’s so much more in the world than your obsession.

• Avoid comparing the new person to your obsession. Appreciate their unique personality instead of comparing them.
• Even if your obsession isn’t a person, meeting new people brings great benefits. They’ll introduce you to perspectives and ideas you hadn’t considered before.

Pursue new interests. Trying new things seems to be the solution to all problems because it truly works. Learning a new skill or improving in certain activities can stimulate your brain and shift your perspective, helping you break free from the cycle of obsession. Don't let your obsession take control—spend time on something unrelated to it.

• For instance, if you're obsessed with someone who dislikes art museums and foreign films, now is the time to try those activities.
• If you're fixated on a specific subject, explore something entirely different to change your focus.

Change your daily routines. If your obsession affects your daily habits, like taking the same route to work that you used to take with an ex, it’s time to change things up. Reflect on your present situation: What routines do you need to break to avoid being consumed by obsession? You can answer this question yourself. Making an effort to change your habits may feel difficult at first, but you’ll notice the change soon enough. Here are some possible changes to relieve your mind:

• Take a different route to school or work.
• Exercise at a different gym or go on different days to avoid encountering your obsession.
• Instead of checking your email or favorite websites first thing in the morning, start your day with meditation, a walk, or taking the dog out for a stroll.
• Exercise at a new location on weekends.
• Listen to a different genre of music while working.

Revitalize your life. If you’re tired of your obsession controlling your thoughts and habits, take back control by initiating personal changes. It may sound dramatic, but sometimes you need to change everything to prove that you still can. Take something related to your obsession and make a fresh start.

• Perhaps for you, revitalizing means changing your appearance. If you’ve grown your hair long thinking it’s something your obsession would like, why not change? Cut it short or try a new style unrelated to them.
• If you spend a lot of time on a particular website, now might be the time to refresh your personal space or work environment. Rearrange the furniture, buy something new, clean your desk, and hang up some new artwork. Remove things that remind you of what you want to avoid and surround yourself with motivating items.

Consult with a specialist. Sometimes, obsessions can become so overwhelming that you cannot overcome them on your own. If you are unable to manage your obsession and it’s affecting your happiness, make an appointment with a specialist. A counselor can provide you with tools to regain control over your thoughts and life.

• If you find yourself engaging in repetitive thoughts or actions, you may be suffering from a disorder called obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). In this case, it’s important to seek help and treatment with therapy and medication for this syndrome.

Transform it into something productive. Not all obsessions are harmful; in fact, many people spend their entire lives seeking a "passion"—something that deeply motivates them to learn and work harder. If your obsession helps you achieve a goal, this is actually a fortunate circumstance. For example, if you're passionate about astronomy and just want to read and learn about it, you could turn your obsession into a successful career.

• Even if your obsession doesn’t lead to significant achievements like a master’s degree or becoming an astronomer, you can still channel it into something productive. Maybe you're obsessed with celebrity gossip and can’t stop reading tabloids. Why not create a blog or a Twitter account to share what you've learned?
• You could also use your obsession as motivation for self-improvement. If you're obsessed with someone who is different from you, you might use it to break bad habits. Let your obsession be the reason you wake up early, go for a run before work, or read all your materials to speak up confidently in class.

Let your obsession be your muse for creativity. If your obsession involves someone, you can channel that energy into creating something beautiful. Many literary, artistic, and musical masterpieces throughout history have originated from obsessions. If you can't stop thinking about someone, channel all your feelings into a poem, a song, or a painting.

Spend time with others who share it. Obsession often feels like a personal issue until you find a group of like-minded people. Whatever you’re obsessed with, you’re not alone. Seek out others who share your passion to exchange information and discuss it endlessly. Whether you’re a die-hard football fan, can’t stop watching shows with your favorite actor, or stay up all night playing video games, there are others just like you.

Don't let obsession limit your world. Obsession doesn't just "consume" all your time and energy. You are the only one who truly understands what is excessive. If obsession brings you joy and you still have time to meet basic needs and socialize, you can let it be. But if it restricts you, you should extinguish the fire and give yourself the opportunity to enjoy other things as well.

• Try new things to help your mind escape the obsession, such as hanging out with friends, reading books, or learning to play a musical instrument.
• Don't just run away, but face the obsession.
• Take it slow if necessary. You don't have to stop abruptly.
• Don't be afraid or ashamed.
• Consider it a challenge and overcome it!

• Obsessive-compulsive disorder and addiction are ongoing issues for many people. If you can't control your obsession or it harms you or those around you, you should seek professional help immediately.