How to Overcome Paranoia

Do you often worry that something might happen to you? Do you find yourself looking over your shoulder or thinking others are talking about you? If so, you may be experiencing paranoia. Paranoia stems from negative thoughts or biases, or issues with self-esteem. In some cases, paranoia might be a sign of a more serious condition, such as paranoid schizophrenia, in which case you should seek medical advice immediately.

Overcome Pessimism. One of the reasons you might feel paranoid is a tendency to assume the worst will happen in every situation, rather than being optimistic about potential outcomes. You might think people are talking about you, they dislike your new hairstyle, or your new boss is intentionally causing trouble. But it's very likely none of this is true. The next time you have a negative thought, stop and do the following:

• Ask yourself what the likelihood is of that negative thought actually coming true.
• When predicting the worst, consider all possible outcomes in the situation, not just the worst-case scenario. You'll find that there are many possible outcomes in most situations.
• Try to counter a pessimistic thought with two more realistic thoughts. For example, if you're worried people are laughing at your shoes, consider these possibilities: 1) it's unlikely that just your shoes could cause people to laugh all day, and 2) it's highly possible that a funny meme is circulating on the office's messaging system.

Don't obsess over trivial matters. A part of delusion isn't just thinking that others are against you or intentionally causing problems, but also because you often dwell on these issues. The more you think about something negative, the deeper you sink into paranoid thoughts, and the more you start to believe it will happen. While you may not be able to stop these obsessive thoughts right away, there are some simple tips to help break the habit:

• Set a "worry time". Dedicate this period to focus on your delusions, assess them, and try to minimize them. If the worry pops up at any other time during the day, try to forget about it temporarily and save it for the "worry time".
• Keep a journal tracking your delusional thoughts and review it weekly. This not only allows you to vent in a healthy way but also helps you realize that your worries are baseless. For example, if you're afraid that X will happen on a particular day, but when the day passes and X doesn't occur, you may accept the fact that your delusional thoughts were unfounded.

Talk to a close friend. A best friend is someone with whom you can share your paranoid thoughts, and they can offer a different perspective on the issue for you to consider. Simply vocalizing your worries can help you see how unreasonable they are.

• If you say your friends hate you, the best friend will provide solid examples to show you're wrong.
• Just pick someone with a firm stance and reasoning skills—certainly, you don't want anyone who will worsen your paranoia or make the situation worse.

Find extra work to stay busy. Another way to avoid delusions is to not give yourself too much free time to sit around thinking about what others might be thinking of you. While being busy might not solve the problem, it does allow you to focus your energy on other tasks, such as pursuing hobbies or working toward personal goals.

• If you dedicate a few hours each week to something you genuinely enjoy, you'll likely spend less time immersed in paranoid thoughts, whether that's doing yoga or collecting coins.

Put yourself in others' shoes. This is an extremely helpful exercise. By putting yourself in the position of those you're worried about, you'll often realize that many of your fears are groundless. For example, if you're on your way to a party and tell yourself, "Everyone will notice I'm wearing the same outfit I wore to a party three weeks ago," ask yourself if you can remember what anyone wore at that party. Chances are, you can't recall what they wore.

• Ask yourself if those people think about you as much as you think about them—what's the likelihood? Do you spend hours thinking about how much you dislike them? Probably not.

Identify whether your paranoia is caused by anxiety. When you're feeling restless, your mind may become flooded with worries, constantly fearing that something is wrong. Restlessness can trigger paranoid thoughts, even though the two states are different. The feeling of anxiety might make you fear you're suffering from a serious illness, but on the other hand, it is the delusion itself that convinces you the doctor is deliberately making you ill.

• If anxiety is the main cause of your issues, you should seek medical help to address this root cause.

Seek expert help when necessary. Sometimes, believing that your friends are talking behind your back can be very different from allowing that thought to completely consume you. Additionally, being aware of your thoughts can differ from having distorted thinking, where you believe others are intentionally trying to hurt you. If you feel that such paranoid thoughts are taking over your life and affecting your social interactions, it may be time to reach out to a mental health professional or psychologist for support.

Stop caring about what others think. If you want to engage socially without constantly worrying about how others perceive you, you need to gradually learn how to stop caring about their thoughts. Of course, it's easier said than done, but once you start believing in yourself and feeling comfortable around others, you'll realize that the small things you say, do, or wear don’t matter to them.

• Stop focusing on yourself. People who are overly self-conscious tend to worry about how others perceive them, which is beyond their control. You have to accept that what others think of you is their choice. Sometimes, others' comments reflect how we feel about ourselves, but that doesn't mean it’s the truth. Try to let go of those judgments and stop questioning yourself every time someone shares their subjective views about you.
• Unconditionally accept yourself. Regardless of your appearance, whether your hair is messy or you just tripped on the carpet, you are a normal human being, and humans have flaws. You need to embrace your quirks and stop thinking that everyone else is perfect except for you. Want proof? Watch some funny blooper videos on YouTube to see that everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes, those mistakes are actually quite amusing.

Engage with the outside world. Many people with paranoid thoughts fear that no one likes them or doesn’t want to hang out with them, leading them to isolate themselves or stay at home rather than socialize. If you never engage in social interactions, you'll only experience the worst side of socializing because you won’t witness its positive aspects. You need to push yourself to get out of the house and interact with others regularly, at least once or twice a week.

• The more you socialize, the more comfortable you'll feel around others, reducing the chance of imagining that they dislike you.

Make a note of the good things around you. After hanging out with friends, chatting with a neighbor on the street, or having a casual conversation with the cashier, you should gather at least a few positive impressions about the people around you in your world. At the end of the day or week, write down the good experiences from your social interactions, how they made you feel more optimistic, and why socializing adds value to your life.

• Whenever you feel paranoid, revisit this list. Remind yourself why you should trust the intentions of others and reduce those paranoid thoughts.

Learn to accept criticism. You might assume that someone dislikes you when they give constructive feedback and guide you on how to improve. For example, if a teacher gives you a low grade on your essay, you should read their comments carefully to determine if their points are valid, rather than assuming you received a poor grade because the teacher doesn’t like you.

• If criticism hurts, remember that it’s entirely about how you receive it. You can either cry or dwell on it for weeks, or use it as an opportunity for self-improvement. Write the criticism down and reflect on its value. If there’s any hint that the feedback is worth considering, take time to think about whether it’s an area you need to change or whether it’s something you should leave as is.

Understand that the world contains selfish people. The truth is, not everyone you meet will like you or treat you kindly. But that doesn’t mean you should avoid socializing. In fact, recognizing that there are selfish, thoughtless, or rude people in the world will help you appreciate the good people even more. If someone is rude to you without a clear reason, accept that it’s likely due to their personal issues or insecurities, and not something you did.

• Remember that the diversity of personalities is what makes the world interesting. Not everyone will be your friend, but that doesn’t mean everyone is your enemy.

Talk directly to your partner if you suspect they are cheating. If you worry that your partner is cheating, especially if you’ve had these thoughts with every person you’ve dated, your anxiety may be stemming from paranoia. Ask yourself if you have any real evidence, or if it’s all just in your head.

• Be open and honest with your partner about your feelings, acknowledging that you understand your concerns might be irrational and that you want help.
• Avoid accusing your partner of cheating or repeatedly checking their phone when they’re not around out of fear. This only makes them feel mistrusted in the relationship.
• Maintain your own life. If you become too obsessed with your girlfriend and rely too much on her, you could become paranoid because your emotional well-being depends solely on her loyalty. You need to maintain other relationships outside of the romantic one.

Ask yourself if your friends are really talking about you. Do you ever wonder what your friends discuss when you’re not around? Do you imagine that they spend all their time gossiping about how much they dislike you? Unless you're in a group of overly talkative or selfish people, this is rarely the case. Think about the chances that your friends are talking about you when you leave.

• Do they invite you to hang out? Do they text you or compliment you? Do they ask for your advice? If so, why would you think they dislike you?

Overcome workplace paranoia. Many people experience paranoia, worrying about being fired or feeling that their boss dislikes them. If this is happening to you, ask yourself what proof you have that you're about to lose your job. Do you arrive on time? Do you put in the required hours? Are you making progress? If so, why do you think you'll be fired? If there are no warning signs and others around you aren't being fired either, your concern is likely only in your head.

• Reassure yourself by making a list of your contributions to the company.
• Write down all the praise or positive feedback you've received from your boss. Now, write down any negative comments. You'll likely find that the positives far outweigh the negatives.

Remember, not everyone notices you when you enter a room. Another form of paranoia is overestimating your importance. You may think that when you enter a room or a party, everyone will stare at you, laugh, or gossip behind your back. Ask yourself if you ever notice someone when they walk in; like most people, you might be too focused on how you look and how others perceive you to even notice others in the same way.