Buzz
The beginning of a relationship is full of excitement, but it can also bring its share of awkward moments. You're still learning about each other, which means there are bound to be surprises and some uneasy first experiences. However, these moments don't have to be negative; they can even serve as opportunities to bond. Here are some suggestions for getting through this somewhat uncomfortable but entirely normal phase of relationship-building.
Steps
Stay true to who you are.
It can be tempting to put on a facade during this phase. While it's natural to want to impress your new partner, the best way to truly connect is to be yourself. Relax and share your genuine interests, passions, and hobbies, even if you’re unsure how they’ll be received. Dating someone new is all about learning each other’s unique traits.
- When you’re authentic, your partner will likely feel more at ease too.
- Don't hide aspects of yourself because you fear your partner won’t like them.
Get at ease with physical affection.
Simple gestures like cuddling or holding hands can help strengthen your bond. Research from Oxford University's Department of Experimental Psychology has shown that physical touch plays a significant role in fostering trust and connection. Greet your partner with a hug, share a kiss on the cheek, or offer a gentle touch on the shoulder. These small acts can quickly ease any tension and move you past the awkward phase.
- If public displays of affection (PDA) aren’t your style or you need more time to feel comfortable being physically affectionate, that’s perfectly okay. There are plenty of ways to grow closer to a new partner, so only do what feels right for you.
Prioritize moments of intimacy.
Even if the chemistry is strong, intimacy can still feel a little uncomfortable in the early stages. It’s important to have open conversations with your partner about your preferences, and listen to theirs as well. Discuss topics such as contraception and STI testing to ensure safe practices. Experiment with new experiences as you discover each other, and take things at a pace that feels comfortable for both of you.
- If you’re feeling anxious about being vulnerable, try talking about these matters when you're not in the middle of an intimate moment. This can relieve some of the pressure and help you feel more at ease.
Keep a balance by focusing on your personal interests beyond the relationship.
This helps prevent you from putting too much pressure on the relationship. Keep up with your own hobbies and stay engaged in the things you're passionate about, like your job or favorite classes. Don't alter your interests to fit your partner's preferences or cancel your plans to spend all your time with them.
- Exclusively focusing on the relationship early on can cause it to fizzle out quickly. If you want your relationship to move beyond the awkward stage, make sure you maintain a life outside of it.
- Continue making plans with your friends and family as well.
Clarify the relationship when you're ready.
The timing of this conversation can differ for each couple. Give it at least a few weeks to figure out what you're looking for. If, after some time, you feel ready for a committed relationship, discuss that with your partner and find out their feelings too. Before making a serious commitment, talk about your values, goals, and expectations regarding monogamy (or non-monogamy) to ensure you’re both on the same page.
- Be straightforward by saying something like, "I've really enjoyed spending time with you over the past few months. I’d love to explore this further on a deeper level."
- Alternatively, you could ask them about their intentions. You might say, "I like you and think this could go somewhere. What are you looking for in a relationship?"
Handle conflicts head-on.
Don't bottle up your feelings or expect your partner to read your mind. If your partner says or does something that upsets you, let them know how it makes you feel. Give them space to share their side, and together, find a way to work through it. Confronting the first conflict might feel awkward, but staying calm and respectful can make you both stronger in the end.
- For example, if your partner makes a joke about something that matters to you, and it offends you, speak up. You could say, "I know you didn't mean anything by it, but that comment actually hurt my feelings."
- Your partner might apologize and learn not to joke about it again. If they don't react well or continue the behavior, take a moment to reflect on whether you're truly compatible.
EXPERT ADVICE
John Keegan
Relationship Coach
Relationship Coach
Think about the communication style that works best for you. Remember—the foundation of a fulfilling relationship is built on clearly communicating your needs!
Introduce each other's friends and family.
Take it easy and don’t rush through the awkward phase. When you're meeting your partner's parents for the first time, it helps to ask your partner some background details, like whether they have a close relationship with their family or if their parents are divorced, so you feel more prepared. Share your own family background with your partner before the introduction. When you're with your partner’s friends, try to stay relaxed and approachable.
- For the meeting with your partner’s parents, dress well and consider bringing a small gift as a thoughtful gesture.
- Ask your partner for any interesting family stories—they could be great icebreakers when you're talking to their parents.
- Be present when meeting your partner’s friends and family. Put your phone away and try not to focus too much on just your partner. Engage in the conversation, ask questions, and enjoy the experience.
Ask questions to deepen your connection.
Be genuinely interested in your partner's background. The awkwardness often arises because you're still learning about each other. Ask your partner about their past experiences, interests, and dreams. As you grow closer, you can start asking more personal questions, like about their childhood or previous relationships. A two-way exchange will help both of you feel more at ease.
- If your partner talks about playing soccer as a kid, inquire more about it. You could say, "You played soccer all through college, right? What did you enjoy most about it?"
- You can also have fun by asking quirky questions like their thoughts on philosophy or which celebrity, living or dead, they'd most like to have dinner with.
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Start QuizExplore More QuizzesListen carefully to your partner.
Give your full attention when your partner opens up to you. Moving beyond the awkward phase means truly understanding your partner. Whether they’re sharing details about their day or talking about what's stressing them out, make sure to make eye contact, listen actively, and set aside your phone.
- Focus on what they’re saying rather than planning your response while they’re speaking.
Make plans often.
Spending quality time together is key to becoming more comfortable with each other. Plan enjoyable activities like dinner dates, go see a movie, and chat about it afterward over coffee. Take a peaceful walk through a park or try new activities to bond. As you spend more time with this new person, you’ll feel more at ease, and the awkwardness will fade away.
- Consider doing something neither of you has done before. Trying new things as a couple strengthens your bond and creates enjoyable shared experiences. You could try a cooking class together or discover a new spot for lunch.
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Start the QuizExplore More QuizzesDrop your defenses.
Overcoming the awkward phase is all about embracing vulnerability. Be open with your partner about the tough days and share your personal stories. As your relationship progresses, let your partner in on your deeper experiences—like past relationships, childhood memories, and challenges you've faced. Taking that step can feel like a big leap, but honesty and openness play a key role in building intimacy.
- It may sting if you open up and don’t receive the affection you were hoping for. Don’t be discouraged. Either your partner isn’t ready to take the relationship to that level yet, or you may not be on the same page about what you want.
- Keep in mind that showing vulnerability is a courageous act that demonstrates your ability to love and connect. No matter how your partner responds, it's a positive reflection of who you are!
- Reader Poll: We surveyed 325 Mytour readers to find out what social skill they find most challenging, and 53% agreed that expressing their emotions and thoughts openly is the toughest. [Take Poll] Your partner wants to see you happy, so it’s crucial that they understand how you truly feel.
