Buzz
Are you trying to fake being sick to skip a class, take a day off work, avoid meeting your in-laws, or perhaps you're preparing to play a sick character in a play? Pretending to be sick is not as difficult as it seems, but if you don't look like you're ill, no one will believe you're actually unwell. By changing your appearance, behavior, and tone of voice, and knowing the symptoms of different illnesses to mimic, you can convincingly appear as someone who is genuinely sick, giving yourself some time off without enduring any discomfort.
Steps to Follow
Modify Your Posture and Actions
Choose an illness to pretend to have. People often fake a bad cold or fever since most people have experienced these and the symptoms are easy to imitate. Pretending to have a headache, diarrhea, or stomach pain are also smart choices because you won't have to describe the symptoms in detail—after all, no one wants to hear about your bathroom habits.
- The most important thing is not to fake contradictory symptoms. If you're pretending to have a headache, don't complain about stomach pain, and if you're pretending to have diarrhea, don't start sneezing.
Remember how you look when you're actually sick and try to mimic that appearance. When you're pretending to be ill, you must avoid smiling or appearing cheerful, or people will suspect you're not really sick.
- Think about how you felt and looked the last time you were genuinely sick to perform convincingly.
Use concealer or white flour to create a pale complexion. A little green-tinted concealer can turn healthy skin into a sickly one, and a pinch of white flour can make your skin look pale and exhausted.
- Concealer works better, but if it's not available, white flour can serve as a substitute.
Wear loose clothing or wrap yourself in a blanket. Regardless of the illness, sick people usually prefer to stay warm with multiple layers of fabric. Wrap yourself in a blanket or throw on a warm jacket the night before and throughout the day when you're pretending to be ill.
- You can shiver or tremble lightly to mimic cold symptoms, even with a blanket on, since people with fever often feel both hot and cold at the same time.
Move slowly and awkwardly, bump into furniture, and walk sluggishly. Almost every illness reduces coordination. Whether you're pretending to have a headache or a severe cold, you should move slowly and act unaware of your surroundings.
Sniffle, cough, and constantly complain about your symptoms. To make your act believable, you should use all your acting skills to convincingly portray sickness. If you're pretending to have a cold or flu, make sure to sniffle and cough at least every few minutes, while for other illnesses, remember to groan, rub your stomach, or press your forehead, depending on the disease you're imitating.
Imitating specific symptoms and injuries
Faking a fever or cold by coughing, having a stuffy nose, and feeling tired. Breathe through your mouth to appear congested, and don’t forget to speak and react more slowly than usual. You can pretend to cough lightly and snort loudly to make it seem more realistic.
- Faking a runny nose is tricky, but you can make your eyes look watery by trying not to blink for a while, causing tears to flow. Do this right before talking to someone for maximum effect.
Simulating a migraine by avoiding bright lights, loud sounds, and crowded places. Migraines often don't show external symptoms, so people rely on your story to understand your condition. Pretend to be sensitive to light and noise, and if possible, retreat to a dark, quiet room.
- Common symptoms of migraines include dizziness, strong reactions to light and sound, imbalance, and intense headaches, especially on the temples and the back of the head.
Feigning stomach pain by acting nauseous and frequently visiting the restroom. The night before, you might rub your stomach a few times and complain of feeling “strange” before abandoning your meal and going to bed earlier than usual. Fake diarrhea by sitting in the bathroom for a long time and pretending to have abdominal cramps.
- You can fake vomiting by making sounds like you're gagging, then flush a glass of water down the toilet. Wait a moment as if to rinse your mouth, then leave the bathroom, lie down on the couch, and avoid eating anything.
- Continue to visit the bathroom frequently at night, but make sure to turn on the exhaust fan so no one suspects that they can’t hear any noise from the bathroom.
- Spray a lot of room freshener to mask the “smell,” and the next day continue running to the restroom regularly.
Don't overact or you'll be suspected. Sick people often hide some symptoms, only coughing when they absolutely have to and appearing nauseous when they feel truly ill. You should practice performing the symptoms in front of a mirror and convince yourself before trying to convince others that you are sick.
- It's easy to tell if someone is genuinely sneezing or faking it. Although you shouldn’t fake sneezing, if it feels more convincing, you can use a feather or something similar to tickle under your nose to trigger a sneeze.
Preparing in advance
Talk about your “symptoms” the night before you want to fake being sick. Start showing signs of illness the evening before. Tell people that you're feeling light-headed, then skip dinner and go to bed earlier than usual, even if you don’t actually sleep.
- Your goal is to plant the idea in others' minds that you’re not feeling well, rather than directly saying “I think I’m getting sick.” This makes your symptoms seem more believable since you’re not openly claiming to be ill.
Gradually show symptoms over a few hours. No one suddenly becomes seriously ill; symptoms accumulate over time until they visibly wear the person down. Start slow with a few hours of light coughing or sniffles if you're faking a cold, or act sluggish and slower to react if you're pretending to feel nauseous.
Stay up late to create dark circles under your eyes as if you haven’t slept. Most people with serious illnesses struggle to sleep (unless they're taking sedative medications). You can stay up a few extra hours later than usual to create dark bags under your eyes.
- For others, this may signal that you're having trouble sleeping, even though in reality, you're staying up late enjoying your own activities.
- You can also use a bit of eye shadow to enhance the dark circle effect, but don’t overdo it. If anyone notices you've applied makeup, your act will fall apart.
Avoid making plans or meeting up with others as if you're genuinely ill. People who fake being sick are most easily caught when they’re seen out and about having fun instead of resting at home to recover.
- Take a day off from social media, cancel plans with friends, and stay home all day. Surely, you wouldn’t want anyone to discover your trick.
Advice
- Try not to misuse sick days when you're not actually sick. If you end up really sick and have exhausted your sick leave, you'll lose more than just a phone call to your boss to ask for time off.
Warning
- Inducing vomiting can damage your gums and enamel. If you decide to trigger the gag reflex, don't overdo it, as you might actually throw up, which could harm your oral health in the long run.
- Feigning illness isn't a good idea, especially during a health crisis like the COVID-19 pandemic. You might make those around you fearful or anxious.
- If you take too many sick days, your colleagues might resent you for leaving them with extra work. Remember to call your boss early so they have time to reassign tasks, or you could promise to make up for the work later.
