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Sexual predators are cyclical hunters. By following the steps below, you can contribute to making the world a safer place from such threats. Equipping yourself with the right information and skills can help protect you both mentally and physically. Remember, while being aware of your surroundings and knowing self-defense is crucial, the act of sexual assault is ultimately the fault of the perpetrator, not the victim. This article does not aim to justify or excuse sexual assault but provides advice to help you feel safer. In an ideal world, the best way to prevent sexual assault is to educate everyone, including both men and women, on how to respect and support one another. Additionally, having the right awareness about this issue can be highly beneficial in helping you avoid dangerous situations.
Steps
Understanding Sexual Assault Correctly
Know that sexual assault is never your fault. Before considering how to prevent sexual assault, it’s essential to understand that if it happens, 100% of the blame lies with the perpetrator. Your actions, clothing, or words are never the cause. There is no such thing as "inviting the attacker," and anyone who suggests otherwise is entirely wrong. However, you can take certain measures to avoid danger and stay safe, but ultimately, your actions are not the "reason" for being assaulted.
Understand that the best way to prevent sexual assault is to stop others from committing it. In modern society, there are many actions we can take to prevent rape, and this starts with how we view women. If the community collectively praises men who respect women and eliminates a culture of misogyny, things will gradually change. Sometimes, young men think "rape jokes" are funny and that joking about sexual assault is normal. We need to tell them this is wrong. Men can also be sexually assaulted, but society assumes men "cannot be raped," so most feel ashamed and afraid to speak up.
Don’t stop living your life. Reading an article about preventing sexual assault might feel overwhelming. You might start to feel nowhere is safe—whether it’s a supermarket parking lot, a public restroom, your car, or even your own home. You might wonder where we need to go to be safe from predators. Don’t think like that. While caution is necessary, you shouldn’t be so afraid that you avoid going out alone, staying out late, or visiting places you love. After reading this article, you can still enjoy life and feel safe without being overly paranoid.
Know that most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows. Statistics may vary, but surveys show that only 9%-33% of rapists are complete strangers to the victim. This means most women are assaulted by men they know—friends, dates, coworkers, acquaintances, or even family members. This also means the risk of assault is higher from someone familiar rather than a stranger in a dark alley. Therefore, it’s crucial to be cautious when alone and not let your guard down completely around people you know.
Staying Safe Outdoors
Always be aware of your surroundings. Parking lots and garages are common targets for predators. Since these individuals are hunters, stay vigilant. If you’re in a parking lot and feel someone is following you, try to make noise—talk loudly, speak to an imaginary person, or pretend to be on the phone. The louder the potential victim is, the more likely the predator will be scared off.
If you're still in school, be aware that most sexual assaults occur during the first few weeks of the academic year. The U.S. Department of Justice reports that the majority of campus rapes happen in the initial weeks, primarily targeting freshmen and sophomores. This period is particularly risky as students are still getting to know each other, surrounded by strangers, and often engaging in heavy drinking and partying. While you shouldn’t let this stop you from enjoying time with friends or staying cooped up in your dorm, always exercise caution when meeting new people, stick with friends, and trust your instincts.
Always keep an eye on your drink. Treat your drink as if it were a stack of cash. Don’t let others handle it, and never accept drinks from strangers, as they could be tampered with. Always hold onto your drink and pour it yourself. Cover the top of your cup to prevent anyone from slipping something into it. Avoid accepting drinks on dates unless they’re handed to you directly by the bartender or server. Even if you’re fairly sure a drink across the room is yours, it’s safer to order a new one.
Drink in moderation. This doesn’t mean it’s your fault if a predator targets you while you’re intoxicated, but being drunk makes you more vulnerable. Limit yourself to one drink per hour (whether it’s a glass of wine, a beer, or another alcoholic beverage) to stay alert and in control of your body. Avoid drinking punch at student gatherings, and never let anyone other than the bartender prepare your drink to avoid overly strong or spiked beverages.
Stick with your friends. Wherever you go, always travel in a group and leave together. Even if you’re in different areas of a party, make sure you know where your friends are and they know where you are. Stay in touch, maintain eye contact, and look out for each other. Friends can step in if they see you’re being harassed, and you should do the same. Never leave a friend alone with someone they’ve just met, especially at a party where alcohol is involved.
Stay safe at bars. Bars are often loud, making it hard for others to hear you if you call for help. If you’re going to a bar, always go with a group of friends, visit the restroom together, and ensure they always know your whereabouts.
Be assertive. If someone is bothering you, firmly ask them to leave. There’s no need to be polite to someone who is making unwelcome advances. Clearly tell them, "Thank you, but no thank you," and express that you’re not interested. It’s harder if it’s someone you know or care about, but it’s still possible. Once you’ve made your stance clear, they’re likely to stop bothering you.
Keep personal information private. Avoid sharing your details with others or posting them online. Be cautious when meeting someone you’ve only known through the internet. There’s rarely a good reason to meet someone you’ve never seen in person, especially if you’re hesitant about their intentions. If you must meet them, bring someone along, preferably an older friend, and choose a public location.
Always keep your phone charged. Never go out with a nearly dead phone battery. Your phone can be a lifeline, whether to call the police or reach out to friends for help. Make it a habit to charge your phone before heading out at night, whether alone or with friends. If you often forget to charge it, consider carrying a portable charger.
Staying Safe When Alone
Be cautious with technology when alone. Understand this: you shouldn’t stop enjoying life or doing what you love out of fear of assault. If you enjoy running while listening to music on your iPod, that’s fine—just stay alert, keep an eye on your surroundings, and stick to populated areas. If you’re alone in a dark parking lot or garage, focus on your destination rather than fiddling with your iPod or iPhone.
Learn to trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable or unsure, it’s best to leave and seek help. Rely on your intuition and pay attention to that gut feeling. If you’re alone and suddenly encounter someone who makes you feel unsafe, change your actions as quickly as possible. Staying calm and moving swiftly to a populated area is crucial if you sense danger.
Don’t cut your hair short just to deter rapists. Many people claim that rapists target women with long hair or ponytails because they’re easier to grab. Does that mean you should get a bob to reduce the risk of assault? Of course not. (Unless you prefer short hair.) Don’t let the fear of assault dictate your appearance, and never blame yourself for attracting the wrong kind of attention.
Don’t change your style of dressing to prevent sexual assault. Some argue that wearing easily removable or "cuttable" clothing increases your risk of assault. This includes thin skirts, lightweight cotton dresses, and other short, airy outfits. They might suggest wearing overalls, jumpsuits, or rompers, or opting for pants with zippers instead of elastic waists. They may even recommend belts to secure your clothing, claiming it deters attackers. While these tips aren’t entirely wrong, you don’t need to wear bulky overalls, high leather boots, or a full wetsuit to avoid assault. Ultimately, what you wear is your choice, and you shouldn’t believe that lightweight clothing makes you more vulnerable.
Only carry self-defense weapons if you know how to use them. Remember, any "weapon" that can harm an attacker can also be used against you if you’re not skilled. If you plan to carry a handgun, take a training course, practice regularly at a shooting range, and obtain the necessary permits. If you choose a knife, enroll in a class to use it effectively. Keep in mind that everyday items like an umbrella or a heavy purse can also serve as weapons with less risk of harming you.
Scream, shout, and attract attention. Attackers often have a plan. Disrupt it by fighting back like an angry cat and yelling as loudly as you can. You can also invest in a small personal alarm device designed like a grenade—pulling the metal pin triggers a siren as loud as a car alarm.
Yell "Please call 113" (or 911 if you’re in the U.S.). Shouting this will both intimidate the attacker and draw attention from others. When you scream for someone to call the police, people nearby are more likely to come to your aid. Studies suggest an effective strategy: point directly at someone on the street and say, "You in the white shirt, please help me! This person is attacking me…" Be sure to point while you speak.
Take a basic self-defense class. If you’re in the U.S., consider enrolling in a Rape Aggression Defense (RAD) course. Look for similar programs or classes in your local area. These courses teach effective defense techniques, from punches and kicks to eye gouging. Mastering these skills will make you feel safer when walking alone at night.
Learn the "SING" self-defense technique. SING stands for Solar Plexus-Instep-Nose-Groin, the four key areas to target if grabbed from behind. Use your elbow to strike the stomach, stomp hard on the foot, and when the attacker releases, turn and strike upward at the nose, followed by a knee to the groin. This will stun the attacker long enough for you to escape.
Enter your home decisively. Don’t linger by your car or fumble with your bags on the street. Leave your vehicle with everything you need. Develop the habit of being cautious when entering your home or car, as someone could easily push you inside and lock the door. Stay alert, keep your keys ready, and scan your surroundings before unlocking the door.
Walk with purpose. Keep your posture upright and your eyes forward; imagine two large panthers escorting you on either side—it may sound silly, but it boosts confidence. Attackers often target those they perceive as vulnerable. If you appear weak or unsure of your direction, you’re more likely to attract their attention. Even if you’re lost, don’t let it show.
Pay attention and leave identifiable marks. Marks like a large bite on the face, a bruised eye, deep scratches on the leg, or torn piercings are easily recognizable, much like memorable tattoos. Fight back aggressively by targeting the attacker’s weak spots, such as the eyes (gouge hard), nose (strike upward with the palm), or groin (grip tightly or punch forcefully), to distract them and create an opportunity to escape.
Look directly into the eyes of someone who might be following you. An attacker is less likely to act if they think you can clearly identify them. While it may be terrifying and the last thing you want to do, making eye contact can help keep you safe.
Protecting Others
Don’t be afraid to intervene. Helping others can be crucial in preventing sexual assault. While stepping into uncomfortable situations isn’t always easy, it’s worth the effort if it means stopping a potential crime.
Keep an eye on potential victims. For example, if you’re at a party and notice someone approaching a visibly intoxicated friend, step in and make it clear you’re watching out for them. Find a reason to intervene in the situation.
Confront the potential attacker. You can either challenge them directly or simply distract them.
Seek backup if you need help. Just a few people stepping in can be enough to stop someone attempting to commit sexual assault.
Create a disturbance. If you’re unsure what else to do, try pausing the party. Turn off the lights or music—this will distract or confuse the potential attacker and alert others that something is wrong.
Don’t leave your friends alone at a party. If you arrived with someone, don’t leave without them. Abandoning them with strangers or new acquaintances puts them at risk, especially if alcohol or drugs are involved.
Stay in touch to ensure everyone gets home safely. A simple group text confirming everyone’s safe arrival is a great way to protect each other. For example, if you’re out late for coffee and a friend is biking home at night, message or call to confirm they’ve arrived. If there’s no response, check to make sure they’re okay.
Speak up if you know someone is a rapist. If your friend is about to go on a date with someone you know is a predator, inform them. Whether it’s a rumor or a confirmed fact, don’t let this person harm others.
Help eliminate rape culture. This is crucial for women and even more so for men. Preventing sexual assault ultimately depends on educating people about rape and standing against it. Even among male friends, avoid making degrading comments about women or joking about rape. When men see other men empathizing with women, they’re more likely to follow suit.
Tips
- Remember improvisation: anything on you, like high heels or keys, can be used as a weapon.
- Don’t underestimate your abilities. The human body has extraordinary strength in such situations. Once adrenaline kicks in, as long as you’re not paralyzed by fear, you’ll be surprised at what you can do.
- Intuition can save your life. Pay attention to it. It’s like a radar that can prevent serious problems. If you have a gut feeling that someone or somewhere is dangerous, don’t ignore it.
- Rapists don’t always look like criminals. They can appear normal, well-groomed, cheerful, young, etc. They might not seem evil or act suspiciously. They could be your boss, teacher, neighbor, partner, or even a family member.
- The body’s weak points lie in a straight line: eyes, nose, mouth, throat, below the ribs, chest (for women), stomach, groin, knees, and instep.
- As soon as possible, knee the attacker’s groin hard to temporarily paralyze them and buy yourself precious time to escape.
- Scream. Use all your strength to scream loudly. If possible, scream directly into the attacker’s ear to deafen them momentarily. Unless the attacker uses a weapon to threaten you, ignore their demands to stay quiet. Shout, "Help, I’m being assaulted!" or similar phrases like, "Call the police, I’m being attacked!"
- At home, stay safe by never letting strangers inside. If it’s a repair person or service worker, ask for their ID and company vehicle. If they avoid eye contact, lack proper ID, or don’t have a company-branded vehicle, it’s suspicious. Ask them to wait outside and call the company to verify their identity.
- Be cautious when going out alone at night. If you must, stick to well-lit, crowded areas, main streets, and travel with at least one other person. Keep your phone in hand for emergencies and, if possible, hold your keys in the other hand as a weapon.
- Be careful when leaving parties or concerts. Predators often wait around after such events, as it’s late and victims are more vulnerable.
- If traveling alone, inform someone of your plans, destination, and return time. Share details like what you’re wearing and your mode of transportation to help authorities locate you if something goes wrong.
- If you feel someone is following you, tell a trusted adult, like a parent or teacher. They can help you.
Warnings
- Shooting an unarmed attacker could put you in greater danger (prison is a dangerous place). You’re only justified in using a handgun against someone if your life is at risk or you face severe injury. While rape causes psychological harm, it rarely threatens your life. Statistics show that fewer than 0.01% (1 in 10,000) of sexual assaults or attempted assaults result in the victim’s death. Although high-profile cases of rapist-murderers exist, they are extremely rare.
- Always comply with local gun laws.
- Keep your car’s fuel tank full. Be practical and never take unnecessary risks. On long trips, monitor your fuel level and refill whenever possible.
- If you choose to own and use a handgun, understand its dangers, especially if mishandled or improperly stored. Always engage the safety to prevent accidental discharge (critical if children are present). Learn how to clean and maintain your firearm to ensure it functions when needed.
- If carrying a handgun, you have half a second to assess the situation before pulling the trigger. Drawing or firing a weapon escalates the situation. If law enforcement, prosecutors, or the court deem your use of lethal force unjustified, you could face trial and imprisonment. A half-second decision will be scrutinized for days.
- Don’t brandish your weapon. If you lack a valid reason or the resolve to shoot, don’t draw your gun (assuming you’re legally carrying concealed). Only police are authorized to use force against suspects or display firearms without immediate intent to fire. You are not. Police aren’t obligated to de-escalate; you should whenever possible.
- Understand victimhood and rape correctly. The only person responsible for an assault is the perpetrator. If you’re attacked, it’s never your fault, regardless of your actions or inactions.
