Buzz
The most effective way to prove you are not easy to conquer is to genuinely become someone who doesn't fall in love at the drop of a hat. You are an amazing person and deserve a special partner. Give them some space by occasionally not using your phone and letting them reach out first. Balance this by dropping subtle hints that you care and like them too. Keep yourself busy with hobbies, self-care, and spending time with people you enjoy. Boost your confidence by spending time with friends and family who love you. You'll feel happier and soon gain their attention.
Steps
Balancing Space and Attention
Switch your phone to silent mode or leave it at home. It's exhausting to constantly think about how long you should wait before replying to their message. If you reply too quickly, they might think you're too needy––not the behavior of someone pretending to be 'hard to get.' However, it's really hard to resist replying to their messages. To fight the temptation, switch your phone to silent mode so you don't hear the notification sounds.
- A more effective way is to leave your phone at home when you go out with friends, or turn it off before watching a movie or hitting the gym. You can read their messages when you get back, and in this case, you can reply without forcing yourself to wait a few minutes.
Invite them out casually. If you've had feelings for a friend for a while, it takes courage to confess. When asking them out, don’t pour out all your emotions at once, like saying, 'I love you, do you love me?' They might not have considered loving you yet, so such a question could ruin your chance for a conversation.
- Instead, say something like, 'Would you like to grab dinner with me this weekend?' You don’t need to use the word 'date.' Wait for them to bring it up, perhaps after a few weeks of hanging out.
- Use a similar approach when inviting someone you’ve admired for a long time. Avoid saying, 'I’ve had a crush on you for years,' and instead say, 'Would you like to watch the new Spider-Man movie this weekend?' This removes all pressure.
Let them make the first move to kiss you. You can engage in light physical contact, flirt, 'accidentally' brush against them, or touch their lips during conversation. Even if you’re eager to kiss them, let them believe it was entirely their idea.
- If they still don’t get the hint, take the initiative to hug them. They might catch on.
Tell them you want to meet again after the first date. Small rewards are essential when playing 'hard to get,' so don’t let them think you’re not interested. After the first date, if you genuinely want to see them again, let them know. You could text, 'I had a great time last night. Let me know if you’d like to hang out again!' This clearly shows your interest, but avoid saying something like, 'I stayed up all night thinking about our future wedding,' (even if it might be true) as it could scare them away.
- Don’t pretend you’re not into them, as it might make them give up. Instead, drop hints rather than being completely cold.
Let them say 'I love you' first. If they genuinely love you, and you know you feel the same, wait a bit before confessing. You can hint at your feelings by saying, 'I really like you,' or 'I enjoy being with you,' or 'I’m crazy about you,' but let them say 'I love you' first.
- This ensures you’re confident in their sincerity and can reciprocate their feelings. When they say 'I love you,' don’t reject them to prove you’re hard to get. That’s just wrong! If you love them too, say it back.
Maintain a busy life
Spend time doing things you enjoy. It’s obvious, but you’ll be more attractive when you’re out enjoying your hobbies instead of sitting at home all day waiting for their message. You’ll feel happier and more fulfilled.
- Plan to meet friends or family during the week. The more joyful and close-knit your friendships are, the more confident you’ll feel in your romantic pursuits and the more relaxed you’ll be in pursuing love.
Cultivate your hobbies. For example, if you enjoy painting, set aside time each week to practice. Pursuing hobbies not only helps you grow as a person but also makes you a more interesting partner that someone would want to get to know.
- Engaging in hobbies also keeps you from obsessing over them, which can be a therapeutic way to cope if you’re so infatuated that you neglect everything else.
Exercise for at least 30 minutes daily. Physical activity releases endorphins, which boost happiness. It also improves your physical and mental health, making you feel more confident about your appearance.
- Exercise is a great stress reliever. Next time you’re upset over a bad date, hit the gym instead of watching TV. You might be surprised by the difference it makes!
Get at least 8 hours of sleep each night. This is an effective way to feel happier and healthier, helping you make wiser decisions in dating and life. You’ll also look better when you’re well-rested and relaxed. To sleep well, stick to a consistent bedtime and avoid electronic devices an hour before bed.
- Getting enough sleep is a simple act of self-love. Treat it as a nightly gift to yourself and a reminder to care for your well-being. The more you love yourself, the more you’ll realize you deserve to be valued by others.
Build confidence
Boost your confidence by focusing on your attractive qualities. The best way to 'play hard to get' is to show that you’re not easily won over. You’re unique and amazing, and you deserve a partner who matches your personality. They should treat you well, and you should genuinely love who they are.
- When dating, instead of thinking, 'Will they like me?' ask yourself, 'Do I like them?' Assume they’re interested because you’re a fantastic person. You’re the one deciding if they’re worth your time. This mindset turns dating into a fun search for the right match rather than a stressful test.
Go out with other people if you want. If you’re not in an exclusive relationship, build confidence by dating others you find interesting. You might meet someone even better! This also lets your current interest know others are into you, and it gives you more dating experience, reducing pressure on them.
- If you truly love them and don’t want to date anyone else, spend more time with friends and family. They’ll see how loved and valued you are by others.
Host a party with friends to write down lovable qualities. Invite friends for a fun activity where everyone anonymously writes what they admire about each other. It’s a great way to express affection and compile a list of your best traits. Read these notes whenever you’re down to remind yourself how special and lovable you are.
- Another effective method is revisiting old yearbook messages or birthday cards. Read all the kind words people have written about you. Often, others see your true beauty more easily than you do.
