Buzz
If you’re still hung up on your ex and want to win them back fast, texting is an excellent way to reignite the connection and make them miss you. Crafting the perfect text to break the ice is surprisingly easy, and we’re here to help you with the best things to say. After starting the conversation, focus on rekindling the bond and trust so you can rebuild what was lost. Continue reading to discover what to text in order to win your ex back quickly.
This article features insights from Connell Barrett, a professional dating coach and founder of Dating Transformation. Read the full interview here.
Steps
“Would you mind helping me with something?”
Asking for advice is a simple and effective way to start a conversation. By asking them for their expert advice, you'll make them feel good about themselves, which increases the chances they’ll respond quickly. Here are a few variations to consider:
- “Can you suggest a fun video game for my brother’s birthday?”
- “I just bought a new guitar. Any advice for beginners?”
- “My laptop keeps rebooting. Do you know how to fix it?”
- “I’m selecting classes for next semester. Was that graphic design course you took worth it?”
- “I can’t seem to beat level 58 in Game Quest. Got any tips?”
- “I just adopted a new puppy! How did you start teaching your dog tricks?”
“You won’t believe what I’m up to right now.”
Use this to capture their attention without explicitly saying you miss them. If they reply, tell them you’re doing something you both enjoyed in the past or something they suggested you try. This can help kick off a conversation. Here are a few ideas for follow-up texts when they ask “What?”
- “I’m at the escape room you always wanted to check out.”
- “I’m at the arcade, trying to beat your high score.”
- “I’m finally trying that coffee you said was amazing.”
- “I’m at the waterpark where you used to work.”
“This reminded me of you.”
Let them know you’re still holding on to the memories you shared. Share something you recently saw or experienced that reminds you of their interests, hobbies, or ambitions. This might prompt them to text you back and you can keep the conversation flowing. Here are some ideas for expressing that you’re thinking about them:
- “I just heard our song, and it instantly made me think of you.”
- “I watched the Harry Potter series over the weekend and couldn't stop thinking about you.”
- “I’m at a baseball game and I can’t help but remember watching you play.”
- “I just saw a stream of your favorite game, and it made me think of you.”
- “This meme made me smile and think of you.”
“My family asked about you today.”
Ease the tension by saying someone else has been thinking about them. Admitting that you miss someone can be intimidating. If you're not quite ready to say it, that's perfectly fine. You can always mention that someone else, like a friend or family member, brought them up. You could try something like:
- “Keilani told me you made the team. Congrats!”
- “My friends said they saw you at the movies last night.”
- “Today my mom was telling her friends about the time you saved Roscoe from the tree.”
“Do you remember this?”
Bring up a fond memory from your relationship. Reminding them of a happy time you shared is a great way to spark nostalgia and make them long for those moments. Pick a memory that was special to both of you. Here are a few ideas:
- “Remember when we sang that duet at karaoke?”
- “Do you remember swimming together in the lake last summer?”
- “Do you remember our candlelit picnic in the park?”
- “Remember when we went stargazing?”
- “Do you remember catching that foul ball at the game last year?”
“This picture has me reminiscing about good times.”
Send them a photo of the two of you together. This is another way to remind them of the fun times you shared. Choose a picture where you both look happy, to bring back those feelings of attraction. You could send something like:
- A photo of the two of you at a dance or wedding.
- A picture of you both smiling in front of a famous landmark.
- A photo of you both at the beach or by the lake.
- A picture of you both on a hike.
- A snapshot of you cuddling together.
“Do you still enjoy this?”
Inquire about their hobbies or interests to spark a conversation. This will help you break the ice and show them that you still remember the little things about their life. Ask about something they were passionate about, like their favorite music or personal ambitions. You could say:
- “Is Taylor Swift still your favorite artist?”
- “Do you still like blueberry cream cheese on your bagels?”
- “Are you still into K-pop?”
- “Are you still working on your novel?”
“What do you miss most about our time together?”
Asking an open-ended question can initiate a meaningful conversation. This approach works especially well after a relatively amicable breakup, as your ex is likely to have no hard feelings. Focus on the positive moments of your relationship to make them reminisce and miss you. Some additional questions to ask could be:
- “What have you been up to since we parted ways?”
- “What was your favorite memory during our time together?”
- “What do you think could have saved our relationship?”
- “When you think of me, what comes to mind?”
“I deeply regret what I did. Is there any way I can make it up to you?”
Send an apology if you feel regret about past mistakes. If you know you hurt them during your relationship, starting with an apology text can be a good first step. Acknowledge your past wrongs and assure them that you’ll treat them better moving forward. Here are some ways to express your apology:
- “I’ve been reflecting on how I hurt you. I deeply regret my actions and want to make amends.”
- “I realize I made mistakes in our relationship, and I’ve been working on myself. I know I can do better.”
- “I’m truly sorry for hurting you. I know I was wrong, and I’ve changed. Can we try again?”
“I miss you so much.”
Be open and sincere about your feelings when they reply. It’s a vulnerable moment, but expressing your true emotions is essential to reconnecting. If you’re lucky, they might feel the same, and you could rekindle your relationship. Here are other ways to share your feelings:
- “To be honest, I can’t stop thinking about you. I hope you’ll give me another shot.”
- “I’ve missed you so much these past few weeks.”
- “I’m glad we’re talking again. I’ve felt so down since the breakup. I miss you.”
- “I still love you, to be honest.”
“How about joining a group hangout?”
Invite them to a group gathering as a casual step forward. You might not be ready to ask for a one-on-one date, so starting with a group hangout is a great way to ease back into their life. Try inviting them to something like:
- “There’s a game night at Yuli’s place this weekend. Want to join?”
- “A bunch of us are going bowling this weekend. Care to come along?”
- “I’m setting up a study group for English class. We’re meeting tomorrow at the coffee shop at 4:00 p.m. You should come!”
- “Ling’s starting a sci-fi book club, and I thought you’d be into it. We’re picking the first book this Saturday. Want to join?”
“How about we go out sometime?”
Ask them out on a date when you're comfortable. You’re eager to reconnect, but rekindling a relationship takes time. A great way to begin is by inviting them out on a date. Here are a few ideas for asking them out:
- “I’ve been craving Mexican food. How about dinner at Cafe Bonita this Friday?”
- “I still owe you a mini golf rematch. Want to play this Saturday?”
- “I miss our laughs. How about a coffee date tomorrow afternoon to catch up?”
- “I’ve got an extra ticket to the game this weekend. Want to come with me?”
Join the Conversation...
My ex and I split up about a year ago. It was hard, but we’ve both moved forward and stayed friends. Recently, we’ve started flirting again, and I’m thinking about asking her out. Do you think that’s a bad idea? I know getting back with an ex can be tricky, but how do you know when it’s worth trying again? I’d love to hear from people who’ve gone through this and how it worked out.
Sarah Schewitz, PsyD
Licensed Psychologist
Licensed Psychologist
Breakups happen for many reasons. Sometimes it’s because one person isn’t ready to commit to the level the relationship requires, or because one or both individuals need to focus on personal growth. People change and evolve, and over time, one might look back and realize, “I had a great partner, and now I’m in a better place to meet their needs.” It's definitely possible to fall in love with someone again after they've grown and are ready to offer you the love you deserve.
I tried getting back with an ex once, and it was a huge mistake. At first, everything seemed perfect—he was so sweet and caring—but once the initial excitement wore off, he slipped back into the same behaviors that caused our breakup in the first place. We ended up having the same arguments as before. If you're thinking about getting back with your ex, make sure there’s real, lasting change before you do.
See all 10 Replies and
Read Discussion-
If you had a difficult breakup, let your ex know you’ve changed and that things will be different this time around.
-
If your ex isn’t responding to your texts, they may not be open to rekindling the relationship.
Warnings
- Stop reaching out to your ex if they’ve clearly expressed they need space. It's crucial to respect their wishes and give them the distance they’ve requested.
- Take a moment to reflect on why you want to reconnect with your ex. If it’s just due to feeling lonely, it might be time to move forward, even though it’s tough. Consider diving into hobbies or spending quality time with friends to focus on healing.
