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Individuals with psychopathy possess a brain abnormality that prevents them from developing a genuine conscience, leaving them devoid of empathy for others. While the antisocial psychopaths are the ones typically seen in films—living outside the boundaries of societal norms—prosocial psychopaths often go unnoticed. These individuals manage to blend in, behaving within societal expectations, and leading seemingly ordinary lives. Despite their charm, prosocial psychopaths are devoid of empathy and remorse, and if you get too close, they can cause significant emotional and financial harm.
Steps to Identify
Identifying Through Speech Patterns
Pay attention to inconsistencies in their words. A psychopath may make contradictory statements, often reversing their position on an issue they discussed earlier. Pathological dishonesty and lying are key signs of psychopathy. For instance, they might complain about a coworker who is always late or breaking rules, only to then do the exact same thing moments later without any guilt.
- Remember, contradictions might not occur in the same conversation, so it’s important to keep track of what they say over time. Consider writing down key phrases that might later contradict their actions or words.
Verify their statements. Psychopaths tend to talk a lot about the people around them, viewing them as mere extensions of their own identity. They will lie about those in their lives, including their own children.
- Psychopaths frequently spread half-truths or intentionally misleading information, and they are adept at withholding crucial details from you.
- If they have shared stories about betrayal or tragic events to explain the dysfunction in their relationships, try to independently verify those accounts.
Be aware of blame-shifting. A psychopath will avoid taking responsibility for their actions, instead shifting blame onto others. If undeniable proof of their fault emerges, they might concede but will display no regret.
- They also work hard to manipulate the narrative by telling a version of events that is far from what actually occurred, which can lead you to doubt your own perception. This tactic is known as "gaslighting."
- Additionally, due to their inflated sense of self-importance, a psychopath may boast about or exaggerate their accomplishments, or even claim credit for the work done by others.
Notice abrupt topic changes. Pay attention if they quickly switch subjects when you bring up something that might expose their antisocial tendencies. They may dismiss your concerns by accusing you of being dramatic or suggest that you're mentally unstable and need therapy.
Uncovering Through Emotional Analysis
Observe their reactions to emotionally charged situations. Lacking empathy, psychopaths often react to emotional or distressing news in a flat, mechanical manner, or in a way that feels fake or forced.
- For instance, a psychopath might voice disappointment without any real emotion, offering nothing but empty words. When faced with troubling news, they may show no genuine effort to address the situation, no matter how much they talk about it.
- However, they can also react strongly and unexpectedly—perhaps out of fear of being exposed, because their fragile self-esteem was bruised by a small offense, or because they misinterpret a situation and feel the need to "fake" an emotional response.
- Reader Poll: We asked 2489 Mytour readers, and 50% of them agreed that the most telling sign of a psychopath is a lack of empathy. [Take Poll]
Be alert for signs of self-victimization. Psychopaths often manipulate your emotions to make you feel sympathy for them. Watch for changes in tone or attempts to shift blame onto others as they seek to gain your empathy. This is another tactic they use to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
- Take note if they use this manipulative strategy when they need an excuse for their mistakes, like "forgetting" your birthday.
- Another red flag is if they consistently make everything about their struggles, never offering apologies or taking accountability for their behavior.
Monitor how often you are questioned. To identify a prosocial psychopath, observe how frequently they ask you about how you'd respond in emotionally charged situations. This behavior might suggest that, due to their lack of empathy and conscience, they don’t instinctively know how to react in certain scenarios and need to collect this information from others.
- For instance, they might ask, "What would you do if you walked out of your apartment and saw me hiding in the bushes?" This is a question a normal person wouldn't feel the need to ask.
Watch for a rapid push to form a close relationship. If you're considering a relationship with someone and suspect they might be a psychopath, pay attention to how quickly they want to get close. There are several potential red flags:
- Do they start calling you affectionate names almost immediately?
- Do they pressure you to let them into your inner circle of trust?
- Are they eager to move in together or start a business venture soon after meeting?
Look for sudden shifts in how much attention they give you. Psychopaths often set up a pattern where they shower you with attention, then suddenly withdraw it, leaving you craving their affection. When they resume being affectionate, you feel an intense high, driven by a boost of dopamine and endorphins.
- They manipulate you into becoming emotionally dependent on them, so you'll continuously forgive their wrongdoings, no matter how harmful they are.
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A psychopath sends four key messages: 1. I admire who you are. 2. I'm just like you. 3. Your secrets are safe with me. 4. I am the perfect partner for you. This is how they quickly establish a deep bond with their target.
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Psychopaths are often the life of the party, always seeking new thrills and dragging you along. They might take you to Disney World and tell you it's a special treat just for you, even though it was a trip they had planned regardless of your presence. Nothing they do is for you, because psychopaths are fundamentally self-serving.
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Psychopaths may try to infiltrate your social circle to get closer to you, or even use your friends as leverage against you later on.
The suggestions in this section are drawn from the real-life experiences of Mytour readers like yourself. If you have valuable advice you'd like to contribute, please share it in the field below on Mytour.
- Don’t discard the good with the bad. Keep in mind that only about 1 in 100 psychopaths exist in any random group of 1000 people. If you try too hard to spot the symptoms listed above in others, you might mistake them in people who aren’t psychopaths. Live your life without fear!
- From my experience, when a psychopath exploits a kind and generous friend, they often become cold and abusive when that person faces a hardship. Be alert to this behavior!
Warnings
- Never hand out your trust easily. Be cautious of anyone who pressures you to do so. Trust must be earned, not given freely.
- Do not confront a psychopath about your awareness of their psychopathy. This is similar to cornering a wild animal.
- Be wary of confiding in their seemingly friendly family members, as psychopathy is known to be genetically linked.
- The most overlooked sign of psychopathy is an "unnervingly calm demeanor."
