Buzz
You likely spend a considerable amount of time with your colleagues, which naturally leads to friendly relationships. However, it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish between a colleague who is simply being friendly and one who may be flirting with you, especially in a professional environment. We've gathered a few signs that suggest a colleague might be flirting, so you'll be better equipped to recognize it when you're around them next time.
Steps
They often join you for lunch.
They even try to have lunch with you, even if it's not convenient for them. If you notice your colleague always takes their breaks to be near you, it could mean they're not just fond of you as a friend. You'll especially notice if they frequently invite you to lunch or buy you a meal.
- There's also a reason why your colleague enjoys chatting with you when neither of you are busy! It's obviously easier to have casual conversations when both of you are free!
They often stop to chat with you.
They might take the initiative to stop and greet you. If this colleague frequently walks over to you to start a conversation, there's a good chance they are flirting with you. However, if they enjoy chatting with everyone, you may notice them engaging the same way with others.
- For instance, if you work on the 3rd floor and they work on the 4th, but they regularly come down to your floor, it could be because they just want to see you.
They compliment you but not anyone else.
Your colleague may praise your attire or your work style. If you notice that they often offer compliments specifically to you and no one else, it's a strong indication that they may have a fondness for you. However, don’t forget that if they compliment everyone, they might just be a kind person.
- Observe how they interact with others. If you see them engaging with you differently from everyone else, it's a significant sign they are interested in you.
You often catch them staring at you.
They may glance at you during meetings or when not busy. When you make eye contact with them, you may notice they smile or even subtly wave at you. This indicates that they are flirting with you, not just being friendly.
- A person who isn't interested in catching your gaze would quickly look away or stare at the floor.
They lean in toward you while talking.
Leaning in toward the person you're speaking with is a sign of attraction. If you notice that your colleague stands closer to you than to others, it could mean they are trying to flirt with you. If you like them back and want to flirt too, try leaning in as well to mirror their body language.
- Remember that everyone has different cultural backgrounds and personal space boundaries. If you're unsure, observe how close they stand to others when they talk.
They text you outside of work hours.
If they don't have your phone number, they might email you. They could even send you messages on Slack or Teams. This gives them an excuse to talk to you outside work hours, and it often means they like you.
- The conversation might start with a work-related topic but will usually shift into a casual chat.
They seem jealous of your love life.
They may seem upset or disappointed if you tell them you're dating someone. If you share your romantic life with this colleague, they seem particularly attentive. It might be because they have feelings for you but don’t know how to express them.
- On the other hand, they might genuinely encourage you to date others. This could mean they’re either worried or have mixed emotions about you.
They always focus their attention on you when in a group.
They may also direct their body toward you. If you're in a group of colleagues, the person trying to flirt with you might ask you questions or laugh more loudly when you make a joke. If you're unsure, ask other colleagues – outsiders often notice this behavior immediately.
- They might even pull you aside to talk privately instead of participating in the group conversation.
They touch your arm or shoulder.
This is a classic flirting technique. Breaking the ice by lightly tapping someone's arm or back is a way to show affection. This is especially true if your colleague doesn’t typically touch others at work.
- Some people express emotions through touch. If your colleague frequently hugs or touches others, it doesn’t necessarily mean they like you.
They keep the conversation going.
This means they genuinely enjoy being around you. If the conversation reaches a natural stopping point, this colleague will quickly bring up a new topic. They probably don’t want the conversation to end, so you might find yourself talking with them longer than usual.
- Your colleague could also just be someone who enjoys chatting. In this case, they would do the same with anyone, not just you.
They ask if you’re attending any company events.
They might even say that they won’t go if you’re not going. When they ask you this, it likely means they want to see you outside of work hours. If you say you'll go, they might get excited and mention that they’re happy to have more time with you.
- For example, your colleague might ask if you're attending the company party. If you say you're not going, they might seem disappointed or upset.
They create inside jokes with you.
This is especially true if they don't typically joke around. If something funny happens at work and you and this colleague often talk to each other, they might be trying to build a connection with you. They could bring up these jokes frequently, even when they don't seem that relevant.
- If your colleague is naturally funny or tends to joke with everyone, it doesn’t necessarily mean they like you.
Advice
- If you're not interested in your colleague flirting with you, you can initially ignore it. If they continue, you should talk to your boss or manager about it.
