How to Recognize When You Truly Like Someone

Consider whether you feel happy after a date with that person. One of the best ways to gauge your feelings for someone is by spending time alone together. If the conversation flows naturally, they make you laugh, and you leave feeling elated, these are clear signs that you’ve developed feelings for them.

• If you don’t feel comfortable around someone, or they seem distant during the date, there might not be a genuine connection between you.
• Don’t feel guilty about ending things with someone after a date that doesn’t leave you feeling happy. In the long run, this saves both of you time and effort.

Notice if you feel excited when they call or text you. If you rush to your phone when you receive their message and never let their call go to voicemail, it’s a clear sign that you really like them. No matter how busy you are, you still want to send a message just to let them know you’re thinking about them!

• If they text you and you often don’t feel like replying or have nothing to say, you might just see them as a friend.

Recognize when you see things that remind you of them. If everywhere you look, you find things that make you think of them, you’re probably smitten. Pay attention to how many times a day you tell them stories you think they’d enjoy, and how often you share interesting or related anecdotes about them with friends and family.

• If you don’t really think about them throughout the day, you might only be with them because you feel lonely.

Spend time with others to see if you miss them. When hanging out with friends or family, you’ll have a good time with loved ones. If you find yourself secretly wishing they were there or constantly wanting to text them about everything happening in your day, then you definitely like them.

• If you don’t miss them when you’re with others, ask yourself why. You might be too busy to think about them, or you might only care about them because you dislike being alone. Try to be honest with yourself about your feelings.

Notice if they’re the first person you want to share news with, whether good or bad. Their presence to celebrate your joys and face challenges with you is an essential part of a romantic relationship. If something significant happens in your life, pay attention to who you call or text first. If it’s them, you likely trust and care for them deeply.

• Parents and close friends might be exceptions you share with first. However, they should still be among the first people you contact when something happens.

Consider whether you share common values, interests, and aspirations. Sometimes, certain issues can make dating difficult, such as differing views on marriage, personal preferences, and more. The questions you ask your date about moral values, hobbies, and future plans will reveal whether you’re a good match and also provide clues about potential challenges.

• For example, you might ask, “What do you value most in a friendship?” or “What topics do you think should never be joked about?”
• If you feel comfortable going deeper, ask, “What are you looking for in a relationship?” or “What does an ideal partner look like to you?”
• Don’t overlook the small things. You could ask, “What do you like to do on weekends?” or “Do you prefer mountain camping or beach trips?” to see if your general interests align.

Gently touch their arm or hand to gauge the level of physical attraction between you. It’s hard to maintain a romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t spark a physical connection. A light touch on their arm or hand can show whether they’re comfortable around you and how you feel being close to them. If you have no desire to touch them, you might be better off as friends.

• If they seem uncomfortable with your touch, it’s a sign they might not be ready for a relationship.
• Trust your instincts about physical attraction. If you don’t feel the urge to be close to them, you might not truly be attracted.

Think about whether you’re drawn to their personality and value their opinions. There’s no shortage of physically attractive people, but someone who is both attractive and whose opinions matter to you is truly special. If the first thing you think about them is their kindness or intelligence, it’s a great sign that you admire them for who they are.

• It’s fine to seek someone physically attractive, as long as you also care about their personality and thoughts. If the only thing on your mind is their body, your feelings might just be lust, which can fade over time.

Share your feelings with someone you trust. Take time to confide in a close friend or family member about what’s going on. Sometimes, friends and family can offer valuable insights because they’re outside the situation. Tell them how you feel when you’re with the other person and ask for their thoughts.

• It’s best to choose someone who doesn’t know the other person to avoid drama or accidental leaks.
• Try not to get upset if your friend says something you don’t want to hear.

Ask yourself if you’re afraid of being alone. Many people struggle with the feeling of being by themselves, even for a short time. If you dislike being alone and are seeking someone for companionship, your feelings might not be genuine. If you’ve just moved to a new city and don’t have friends there, it’s possible you’re just looking for someone to be friends with.

• If you want to overcome this feeling, you can learn to enjoy spending time alone. Sometimes, this is the best way to figure out if you truly like someone, as it shows you how you feel when they’re not around.

Consider whether you feel jealous. In many cases, jealousy is a clear indicator of whether you care about someone. Jealousy can be uncomfortable and painful. If you feel upset or angry when you see them spending time with someone they might have feelings for, it’s likely you truly like them.

• Jealousy can sometimes be healthy, but it can quickly turn into a way to control each other. Try not to get too angry when the person you like is around others—they might be thinking about you!
• If you’ve had issues with jealousy in the past or feel like your anger is out of control, consider learning how to manage jealousy before entering a relationship.

• Always be yourself and honest with the person you like. Make sure they know the real you, not the version you’re trying to portray.
• Try to keep things natural and light at the start of a relationship to ensure no one gets hurt. Take time to get to know them before making any commitments.
• Let her know how much you like her. She might like you too but lacks the courage to say it.