How to Reflect on and Analyze Yourself

Every one of us is constantly evolving and changing, shaped by our personality and life experiences. For this reason, it’s essential to periodically dedicate time to reflect on who we are. Self-analysis will help you understand where you stand in various areas of life. With this insight, you can better prepare for necessary adjustments as you continue your journey forward in life.

Reflect on Childhood Experiences. It’s not always easy to understand who you are and why you do what you do. Much of our beliefs and behaviors are shaped by subconscious perspectives and experiences. What’s crucial here is to reflect deeply to uncover your true self-perception from the subconscious. You might ask yourself questions like:

• When I was a child, did I feel listened to or was I often harshly criticized?
• Did people speak to me with respect, or was I ignored, criticized, or teased?
• Was I shown care and affection, or neglected?
• Did I experience physical, verbal, or sexual abuse?
• Were my achievements acknowledged?
• Did people sympathize with my flaws and failures, or did they scold and belittle me?
• Was I always expected to be perfect?

Monitor your mood. Carry a journal with you. Whenever you feel a shift in your mood, jot down your feelings. This is the first step in understanding what your inner voice is trying to communicate with you.

• The inner voice isn’t necessarily a sound you hear, but rather a collection of thoughts that are present in your mind. These thoughts usually reside in the subconscious, and you may not be aware of them. Often, they simply influence your mood without you realizing it.
• The inner voice can either be a positive affirmation or a voice of defeat. People with high self-esteem tend to comfort and accept their inner voice. On the other hand, those with lower self-esteem often experience a harsh inner voice that criticizes and punishes them.
• For some, journaling can be challenging, especially when dealing with past wounds that haven’t yet healed. If journaling feels overwhelming or obstructs your ability to process daily events, it’s a good idea to seek the help of a counselor who can guide you in effective journaling while maintaining a healthy mindset.

Write down your thoughts. The thoughts you have just before your mood shifts are reflections of your inner voice. These subconscious thoughts reveal how you view yourself, others, and the world around you. Writing these thoughts down can help you identify recurring patterns or thoughts when they arise.

• Subconscious thoughts stem from the deeper layers of your mind, so they can be hard to pinpoint. You may find yourself wondering, “What triggered this feeling?” To explore further, ask yourself questions like “What does this say about me?” or “Why do I feel this way?”
• At first, the answers you come up with might be superficial reactions. Keep asking “Then what?” until you begin uncovering deeper subconscious thoughts that may have been hidden before.
• For instance, if a coworker says something that makes you angry, you might initially write, “Lan Anh said I made a mistake.” “I’m so mad. She’s trying to make me look incompetent.” But after asking yourself “Then what?” several times, you might uncover a deeper thought like, “I’m not as good as everyone else.”

Examine your thought patterns. You may begin to recognize recurring thought patterns after jotting down many subconscious thoughts. Ask yourself what underlying themes exist in these thoughts. Are they positive and freeing, or negative and resigned? Common negative thought patterns that arise from subconscious thoughts include:

• “All-or-nothing thinking” occurs when even a small mistake makes you feel like a failure or that the entire situation is a failure. For example, if you make a mistake at work, you may think you’re a failure at your job.
• “Discounting the positive” happens when you focus only on the mistakes and overlook or forget the good things you’ve done. For example, someone might focus solely on one mistake in an experiment and ignore all the successful outcomes.
• “Jumping to conclusions” happens when you make a decision without having all the facts. For example, if you see your best friend in the parking lot but she walks past you, you might assume she’s avoiding you. But perhaps she’s rushing because she’s late and didn’t even see you.
• “Labeling” happens when you attach labels to yourself or others instead of recognizing actions or behaviors. For instance, instead of thinking “I should’ve handled that differently,” you might think, “I’m terrible.”

Reflect on your self-esteem level. A person's appropriate self-esteem reflects their belief in their worthiness and value. In contrast, someone with low self-esteem often feels inadequate and seeks approval from others. If you notice frequent negative thoughts, your self-esteem might not be at a healthy level. Low self-esteem negatively affects how you view yourself, so it's important to strive for a balanced and positive self-image. If you're unsure whether your self-esteem is low, consider these three negative traits often associated with low self-worth:

• The Victim: This person appears weak and waits for others to rescue them. They often complain or act indifferent to mask the fears of failure beneath. They tend to be shy, accept their perceived inadequacies, and are overly dependent on others for reassurance.
• The Pretender: This person puts on a facade of happiness, pretending everything is fine, while internally they are paralyzed by the fear of failure. They need success to feel happy, often leading to perfectionism, competition, and burnout.
• The Rebel: This person intentionally puts others down, especially those in authority. They remain angry about not achieving the desired qualities and often criticize others to appear unaffected. This behavior often leads them to blame others for their troubles and oppose those with more power.

Place a sheet of paper in front of you. Position the paper horizontally on a solid surface to make it easier to write on.

Draw five vertical lines down the paper. Ensure that the spacing between the lines is even, as you will write in the sections between them. Make sure there’s enough space to write comfortably.

Write the following terms in each section next to the vertical lines: "Extraversion", "Emotional Instability", "Conscientiousness", "Agreeableness", and "Openness to Experience". These terms reflect the "Five Key Personality Traits" of humans. Most researchers agree that these five traits are the most important in human interactions.

• Remember, the Five Key Personality Traits are not personality types, but rather personality dimensions. For example, someone may score high in “Agreeableness” (friendliness) but low in “Extraversion” (sociability). This person may not be outgoing, but they are quite friendly.
• The “Emotional Stability” level can also indicate “Emotional Instability” in some cases. Emotional instability is the opposite end of the spectrum from “Emotional Stability”.
• Similarly, the term “Openness to Experience” can sometimes represent “Intellect”. The two terms can often be used interchangeably.

Determine your position on the personality scale. Usually, people tend to fall towards either the high or low end of each personality scale. Take a moment to decide where you fall. Write 'high' or 'low' in the corresponding boxes on paper. You can evaluate yourself based on the following descriptions of each trait:

• "Extraversion" reflects the level of attention you give to others and external events. People with high extraversion tend to be confident and have no trouble exploring new areas. Those with low extraversion, often described as introverted, prefer calm, peaceful environments.
• "Neuroticism" reflects your level of anxiety. Those high in neuroticism experience more negative emotions than positive ones. If you find yourself often feeling anxious and uneasy, you may be higher in this aspect.
• "Openness to Experience" indicates how flexible your thinking is when new information comes in. If you're high on this scale, you're likely unconventional and have an open mind. If you're low, you may prefer sticking to conventional ways of thinking and find it difficult to change your mindset.
• "Conscientiousness" refers to your level of consideration for others when making decisions. It also shows how self-disciplined you are. High conscientiousness often means you're organized, disciplined, and have great self-control. Low conscientiousness can indicate spontaneity and an ability to adapt quickly to changing situations.
• "Agreeableness" shows how well you get along with others. It also reflects how compassionate you are. People high in agreeableness are often seen as kind-hearted and empathetic. Those with lower agreeableness may not prioritize emotions when making decisions. Generally, women score higher, and men score lower in this area.

Reflect on how these five traits influence your personality. People usually choose their environments and behave in ways that feel comfortable and aligned with their personality. This self-assessment process offers insights into why you behave the way you do.

• It's possible to score either high or low on each trait. However, there are 45 different personality combinations when all the traits are considered together.

Select a convenient time. Set aside at least one hour of your free time for the self-assessment. During this period, focus on your habits, goals, skills, and overall performance. One hour is sufficient to review your personal notes and other information to accurately evaluate your actions.

Write down your accomplishments at work over the past year. Don’t hesitate to list all the wonderful things you’ve achieved. In fact, you have every right to be proud of yourself. The primary goal of this self-analysis is to highlight your successes. Think about the projects you’ve completed, the additional tasks assigned to you, and the contributions you’ve made to the company. If possible, provide specific examples in your self-assessment.

• A helpful tip to remember your achievements is to read through your emails. This will remind you of early-year accomplishments that you may have forgotten.
• If you keep regular work notes, such as a journal or computer data entry system, revisit these records to jog your memory.
• Ask yourself reflective questions like, "Did my efforts contribute to the company’s goals?" or "How did I demonstrate leadership?"

Use the STAR method if you're struggling to identify your achievements. This method helps you highlight specific situations where you made a positive impact on the company. The detailed approach can be used multiple times, and before applying it, you should have a comprehensive list of your accomplishments. Here’s a breakdown of the STAR method:

• Identify the Situation ("S"ituation): Briefly describe a scenario where you were particularly proud of your work performance.
• Describe the Task ("T"ask) in that situation. What was the job you needed to accomplish?
• Describe the Action ("A"ction) you took to complete the task.
• Highlight the Results ("R"esults) you achieved through your actions.

List the areas you wish to improve. While it's tempting to focus only on your successes, it's equally important to maintain an objective attitude during your self-assessment. Think about areas where you can do better and times when you missed your goals. You'll gain a more accurate understanding of your actual performance by considering the challenges you've faced.

• Even though this is your opportunity to reflect on yourself, reviewing recent feedback from your supervisor can also provide you with an honest perspective on your performance.

Create a list of 5-6 goals you want to achieve in the coming year. This section serves as your action plan for self-assessment; focus on what you can do to enhance your performance. Ensure these goals clearly demonstrate your commitment to contributing to the company's value.

List recent changes in your life. These could be positive changes, such as getting married, having a child, or advancing in your career. They might also be less favorable changes, such as losing a job or going through a divorce. Keep in mind that any change, whether good or bad, can lead to stress as you adjust to new circumstances. Take a moment to think about and record any changes that may have caused you stress in the past six months.

Reflect on your core values. When your life doesn’t align with what you truly believe and cherish, it can create significant stress. For instance, if you value ambition and competition but feel stuck in a monotonous job, you’ll experience stress because your beliefs are out of sync with your current reality. Stress and unhappiness arise when your values don’t match your circumstances. To determine if any misalignment is contributing to your stress, consider asking yourself the following questions:

• What values do you consider most important? Kindness? Honesty? Success? Time spent with family?
• Do your actions contradict these values? For example, if family time is a priority for you, do you find yourself dedicating enough time to family, or are other tasks getting in the way?
• Do your work, relationships, or other areas of life conflict with these values? Continuing with the previous example, does your job prevent you from spending time with family?

Assess your environment. The places where you live, work, and spend your time can play a major role in your stress levels. If you’re surrounded by crime, trash, noise, pollution, crowded spaces, or other aggravating factors, your stress is likely to increase. Consider how much your environment has contributed to your overall stress.

Reflect on personal issues and social influences. Personal problems and social factors can significantly impact your stress levels. Consider the following factors when evaluating aspects of your life that may be contributing to your stress:

• Finances: Do you have enough money to meet basic needs like housing, food, clothing, and transportation?
• Family: Are you facing issues in your relationships with a partner or children, or are you responsible for caring for elderly family members?
• Health: How is your health and that of your loved ones?

Track your sleep patterns. Lack of sleep can impact various aspects of your life and, of course, increase your stress levels. Keep a record of how much you sleep each night. While sleep needs vary from person to person, if you're an adult and consistently sleep less than 6-8 hours a night, other areas of your life may be negatively affected, leading to higher stress levels. The following areas may suffer from sleep deprivation:

• Slower thinking and learning abilities
• Increased risk of accidents
• Higher health risks, including increased likelihood of diabetes and premature death
• More frequent depression and memory problems
• Decreased libido
• Early aging and weight gain
• Poor judgment

Think about ways to reduce stress in these areas. Create a list of actions you can take to improve your overall well-being. After all, the purpose of self-analysis is to reflect and grow.

Consult a therapist or counselor. Many people believe therapy is only for issues that seem insurmountable, but this is far from the truth. Therapists and counselors are trained professionals who can help you with self-reflection, offering an objective perspective and understanding the common cognitive traps people often fall into.

• People seek therapy for many reasons, from past trauma to wanting help navigating daily life. There's no “wrong” reason to consult a professional; in fact, it's a sign of strength and self-care to reach out for guidance.
• A therapist provides a safe, supportive space for you to explore your thoughts and feelings. They won’t judge you or make you feel foolish for having certain thoughts. This type of environment can be very beneficial for self-discovery.

Consider seeing a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) specialist. CBT is a psychological approach that focuses on the relationship between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. For instance, if you recognize low self-esteem as an issue, a CBT specialist can help you identify negative thought patterns that contribute to the problem, such as self-critical internal dialogue. A CBT expert can teach you new ways of thinking and behaving to lead a happier, healthier life.

• CBT has been proven effective for treating various conditions, including anxiety, depression, and sleep disorders. Even chronic pain can improve through CBT.

Seek a trauma specialist if you have experienced past trauma. After your self-reflection, if you realize you have unresolved trauma, a trauma therapist can guide you through the healing process. Healing from past wounds takes time and effort, but an experienced professional can help you move forward.

• CBT is widely used to treat Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Other therapeutic methods include Exposure Therapy, where you gradually confront traumatic events by talking about them, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), which helps you focus on bodily sensations as you recall or talk about traumatic memories.

Find someone you feel comfortable being around. There are many ways to find a therapist. You can search online, ask your doctor or friends for recommendations, or contact medical services or clinics. The key to successful therapy is establishing a good relationship with your therapist, feeling at ease with them. This doesn’t mean you must always feel comfortable with every discussion; it means you should feel supported by the therapist. If you don’t feel a connection after several sessions, you have the option to find a different therapist who may be a better fit for you.

Distinguishing between types of mental health professionals. Psychiatrists and psychologists are not the only mental health providers offering therapeutic care. There are various other mental health professionals who can assist you, so it’s important to consider your options. Some of the professionals you might encounter include:

• A psychiatrist holds a medical degree and can diagnose, prescribe medication, and provide therapy. Due to their specialized training, psychiatric care may be more expensive, but they are highly skilled in treating severe disorders.
• A psychologist holds a doctoral degree in psychology. While psychologists are typically not allowed to prescribe medication, they can diagnose conditions and offer therapeutic interventions.
• A Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) holds a master's degree in social work and has significant clinical experience. They provide therapeutic services and can connect you with community resources.
• A psychiatric nurse is a healthcare professional specialized in mental health, trained to provide therapy and prescribe medication.
• A Marriage and Family Therapist holds a master’s degree in marriage and family counseling. They are trained in therapy but do not have the authority to prescribe medications.
• A Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) holds a master's degree in professional counseling. They are trained in therapy but do not have prescription privileges. LPCs may also specialize in other areas such as career counseling.

• Regular self-reflection is crucial for an honest assessment of your strengths and areas for improvement. Self-evaluation enables you to achieve higher, more effective goals. This process also helps you gain a deeper understanding of your core values and beliefs, which will allow you to live a more fulfilled life aligned with those values.
• Self-reflection might bring up some feelings of insecurity, but this is perfectly normal. The purpose of this process is to acknowledge these insecurities so that you can move forward.
• Make sure that your self-reflection focuses on you. It’s not an opportunity to blame others.
• You can also find specific tests online that assess your primary personality traits.