Buzz
Requesting a girl's phone number can feel like a nerve-wracking first step in initiating a relationship. The unpredictability of her response and the fear of rejection may cause you to avoid asking altogether. However, if you genuinely like her and want to get closer, asking for her number is a crucial first move.
Steps
Building Confidence
Understand that she might say "no." The girl is not required to provide her number simply because you ask. There could be numerous reasons why she may not want to share her contact details.
- This can actually boost your confidence, though. Her refusal is the worst possible outcome when you ask for her number. It’s easy to imagine all the things that could go wrong, but in reality, her saying "no" is the worst case scenario.
- Prepare yourself for rejection. While rejection can be tough, accepting it makes the entire process feel far less intimidating and overwhelming.
Psych yourself up before asking her. Confidence not only makes you appear more attractive, but it will also help you feel more at ease while asking her. For tips, check out our article on how to be confident.
- A great way to build confidence in this situation is to put things in perspective. Asking for her number may seem overwhelming right now, but in a year’s time, you’ll probably laugh at how nervous you were.
- Keep in mind that rejection is something you can move past, but don't assume it will be the outcome.
- It may sound quirky, but try striking a Superman pose for a few minutes before asking. Some experts believe this can really help boost your confidence.
Have a friend talk to her and assess her interest. If you're feeling uncertain that the girl even thinks of you, ask a friend to casually bring you up in conversation with her. Unless she makes it clear that she has no interest, don’t let her response sway your decision too much. She might not have considered you because you haven't shown enough confidence to approach her.
- Choose a friend you can trust. You don’t want someone who might ruin your chances by making you seem pushy or invasive. Your friend should be able to naturally mention you to get a sense of how she feels about you.
- While this may help you gain confidence, it might not be the best route. It can add extra stress to a situation that doesn’t need it.
Remember, asking for her number isn’t a marriage proposal. Getting her number doesn’t mean you’re already dating. It’s just a way to stay in touch and, hopefully, develop a connection later on.
- This understanding can boost your confidence and make the situation feel less daunting. Though it suggests interest, it doesn’t have to imply anything more immediately.
Dating Coach Connell Barrett is engaging in this discussion with others in the Mytour Forums.
Asking
Approach her and strike up a conversation. Don't rush in and immediately ask for her number. Instead, try to weave the request naturally into a conversation. You could discuss a movie or TV show you both recently enjoyed, or ask her how her day went. Keep the conversation light and casual.
- Engaging in conversation also gives you a chance to assess her level of interest. If her responses are brief, she may not be into you. If she provides detailed answers and asks questions back, she's probably interested.
- If she laughs at your jokes, even the ones that aren't funny, it's a clear sign she’s interested and probably wants you to ask for her number.
- Reader Poll: We surveyed 538 Mytour readers who have started conversations with someone they like, and 51% of them agreed that the best conversation opener is complimenting or commenting on a shared interest. [Take Poll]
Bring up the idea of staying in touch outside of work or school. Suggest an activity that would require contact beyond your usual setting. If you attend school together, you could mention needing help with homework and suggesting working on it together. If you're coworkers, you could suggest grabbing coffee or dinner sometime.
- Pay attention to her body language and tone when she responds to the idea of seeing you outside your usual environment. Signs like a smile, a sparkle in her eye, or her touching her hair all indicate that she's flattered.
Ask for her number. Don’t hesitate or make the situation more complicated. It’s as simple as asking, "Can I have your number?" People tend to overthink it because of the potential for a relationship, but it’s a straightforward request.
- You can reduce the stress of asking by simply going for it and asking directly. It’s better to ask outright than trying to get her number through indirect means like asking a friend or getting it through a group project.
- Make sure to speak clearly when you ask for her number. Since this question is the focus of the entire conversation, be confident and articulate. You don’t want her to have to ask you to repeat yourself.
Getting in Touch
Send her a text. Texting has become more acceptable than calling unexpectedly and is less intimidating. You can text her about the conversation you had earlier or start a new topic.
- Avoid sending a simple "hey." Be engaging and offer a line that leads to a potential conversation. It’s up to you to initiate the dialogue.
- When texting her for the first time, try to be funny, light-hearted, and genuine. Don’t feel like you need to pretend to be someone you're not.
There's no need to ask her out on a date right away. Keep in mind that just because she shared her number with you, it doesn’t mean she’s automatically romantically interested. She might have given it to you to avoid rejecting you, or she may view you more as a friend.
- Text her for a while to get a better sense of her feelings. Along with chatting at school or work, try to keep the conversation going over text or even by phone.
Don’t dive into controversial or heavy topics right away. Until you know her better, aim to keep things light and neutral. Some safe topics to bring up are:
- TV Shows
- Movies
- Family
- Future goals
- Funny stories
When it feels right, and if you’re ready, ask her out on a date. If you asked for her number, it's likely because you're romantically interested in her. Don't wait too long to ask her out. It could be the first step in building a relationship together.
Join the Conversation...
There's a girl I see a lot around campus. I don't know her, but we exchange smiles, and I think I'd like to ask for her number, but I'm unsure how to do so without coming off as creepy or desperate. Is it weird to ask a stranger for her number? If not, how should I do it with a little charm? What should I say?
Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Dating Coach
The most effective way to ask for a girl's number isn’t so much about asking, but about leading the conversation. The next time you see her, strike up a chat. While you're talking, give her a compliment, such as, "Hey, I really enjoy talking to you, you’re witty, funny, and it’s been a great conversation. Let's exchange numbers." Then, take out your phone confidently, assuming she feels the same. Don't ask hesitantly like, "Hey, maybe, could I get your number?" Instead, approach it with confidence: "Of course, we’re going to trade numbers—we clearly enjoy each other's company."
Keep in mind that exchanging numbers should come naturally from a pleasant, flirtatious conversation, not as an end goal. It’s simply the next step in connecting and growing closer, not a trophy to be earned.
Keep in mind that exchanging numbers should come naturally from a pleasant, flirtatious conversation, not as an end goal. It’s simply the next step in connecting and growing closer, not a trophy to be earned.
Anonymous WikiMist
That’s great advice. To avoid coming off as creepy (which is something I worry about too), it helps to have a real conversation with her first before asking for her number. If you only like her because of her smile, maybe your next step should be chatting for a few minutes and seeing if you vibe.
If you’re at school, ask about her classes. If you’re at a cafe, ask if she’s tried the new drink. Simple topics to get things going. As mentioned earlier, the number should come as a natural progression of two people connecting and wanting to spend more time together.
If you’re at school, ask about her classes. If you’re at a cafe, ask if she’s tried the new drink. Simple topics to get things going. As mentioned earlier, the number should come as a natural progression of two people connecting and wanting to spend more time together.
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Read Discussion-
If a girl adds kisses to the end of a text, she expects you to return them! Pay attention to the number of kisses you use, as they’ll get analyzed by her friends later!
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Don’t delay asking, but don’t rush it either. When the time is right, girls don’t like waiting for too long.
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Let her talk if you’re calling her.
This advice comes from the real-life experiences of Mytour readers like you. If you have a helpful suggestion to share with others on Mytour, feel free to submit it in the box below.
- If she asks why you want her number, don’t say anything strange or uncomfortable. Instead, offer a different explanation or simply be honest and say you like her. Who knows? She might like you back!
- Always focus on her whenever she speaks—this will work in your favor when you ask for her number later on.
- Don’t act too shy—girls may think you’re unsure of yourself, which could be a big turn-off.
Warnings
- If you never get a response when you text her, it might mean the number is fake or she’s simply not interested.
- Always proofread your texts before sending them. If something can be misinterpreted, make sure to adjust what you’ve written before hitting send.
