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Young people often face challenges when it comes to earning enough money, but sometimes they still need financial support. If your parents are in a position to help, it’s completely acceptable to ask them for assistance. It's important to clearly state the amount you need and the reason behind it. Offering to help out in any way you can, whether it’s through extra chores or focusing more on your studies, can also be a good gesture. Always be polite and show appreciation for whatever they provide.
Steps
How to Ask for Money When Living Under One Roof
Consider whether to approach just one parent. Your goal should never be to create conflict between your parents. However, asking for a small amount of money doesn’t have to turn into a serious discussion. If you're asking for a small sum, like eight dollars for a movie ticket, try approaching one parent. For larger amounts, such as fifty dollars, it may be best to ask both parents.
- Smaller amounts are less likely to be a problem.
- For larger sums, your parents will appreciate your consideration in involving both of them, making them take the request more seriously.
- If one parent tends to be more understanding of your hobbies or needs as a child or teen, it may be a good idea to approach them first.
Be ready to explain your request. The parent you choose to ask will likely want to understand why you need the money. The reason you give can make all the difference in whether or not you receive it. Lying about your reasons is not recommended, so it's best to be honest. There’s no shame in wanting a bit of cash to enjoy time with friends, like going to the movies or getting milkshakes.
- A parent is more likely to support money for activities they believe in, like educational trips or school-related events, much like how charitable organizations approach donors.
- Explaining the need for an item might be easier, like if you’ve just joined the school soccer team and need a ball to practice at home. This is a straightforward request.If you're asking for something for leisure:
Don't: say "It's not fair" or "I need it."
Do: say "I know it’s not essential, but I’m willing to work for it."
Provide reasons to justify your request. Ideally, once you ask your parent for money, they’ll agree without further questioning. However, this may not always be the case. Be prepared to explain why this event matters to you and why it's not just another regular weekend.
- Offer two or three solid reasons explaining why this request is important.
- For instance, if you're asking for money to go to the movies, you could provide reasons like, "Nicole wants to see a movie for her birthday, and I promised I’d attend since I missed her last one" or "We've been having some issues lately, and I want to make it up to her by going to the movie for her birthday."
Specify the exact amount you need. This is your chance to show off your budgeting skills, and your parents will likely respect that. Tell them the exact cost and factor in a little extra for unexpected expenses. Being honest about this buffer will demonstrate your maturity in budgeting.
- For example, find the exact price of a movie ticket. Add in the couple of bucks you typically give your friend for gas. Then, ask for a little extra for a drink or snack, even if you’re not sure you'll need it.
- If you're asking for a larger amount, like for a road trip or dinner with a date, be as precise as you can with the amount. Your parents want you to have fun but need to see that you understand the costs involved.
Be ready for some negotiation. Your parents might not be thrilled about covering the entire cost of your dinner date, but they will still want to help out. Don’t feel intimidated by the negotiation process. If you're honest and open about your needs and show a willingness to compromise, it could work out in your favor.
If your parents give you a flat "no":
Don't: continue pushing.
Do: leave the conversation politely, and wait for a better moment to bring it up again by offering something in return.
Don't: continue pushing.
Do: leave the conversation politely, and wait for a better moment to bring it up again by offering something in return.
Offer something in return. Be prepared to offer to do something your parents want in exchange for the money. For example, if they’d like you to take on more household chores, like mowing the lawn, offer to help with that. The discussion may end up being led by them. If they ask you to raise your grades or study more in return, agree to their terms.
- Honoring your promise will make your parents more likely to engage in these kinds of exchanges in the future!
Be respectful. Nothing communicates that you don’t take money seriously more than rolling your eyes when your parents seem doubtful. Show them that you appreciate their guidance and concern by asking politely and expressing gratitude. Turning the conversation into an exchange between two mature individuals will strengthen your relationship with your parents.
Asking for Financial Help After Moving Out
Choose who to ask carefully. By now, you likely know which parent is more inclined to give you some money. If you need a larger sum, however, approach both parents together. Give them the chance to discuss the matter before you present your case.
- If they tend to be more lenient together as a couple than separately, consider asking both at once.Don't: discuss this with your friends, especially if they know your parents.
Do: Share the information with your siblings if your parents decide to help you. Keeping it a secret might cause issues if they find out later.
Be ready to discuss your finances. While you may wish that your budget is no longer your parents' concern, asking them for money makes it their business. You likely won’t need to present them with a full budget breakdown, but giving them a rough overview of your spending will demonstrate that you're responsible.
- Letting your parents see how you manage your finances will help them feel more comfortable giving you money, as long as your spending doesn’t seem frivolous.
- Include information about how you earn money, whether through a job, freelance work, or educational courses. This will show your parents that you’re making an effort and not simply relying on them for support.Don't: lecture your parents about managing their finances.
Do: Ensure that they can afford your request without it impacting their own financial security.
Show your commitment to education or work. Demonstrate to your parents that you are doing well in school. To make your request even more compelling, share your plans to improve further. This will help frame your financial difficulties as temporary, not permanent, and will show your appreciation for their past support in your academic or early work endeavors.
Request a loan. Your parents might view this as an opportunity to invest in your future rather than a loan to be repaid. However, if you express your willingness to work hard and repay them, it will show your financial maturity. Additionally, agreeing to pay them back will offer valuable lessons in money management.
- You and your parents can work out the repayment details: they might want it sooner, or prefer to charge interest. Be flexible in negotiating a repayment plan that works for everyone.
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Don't make asking for money from your parents the only time you interact with them. Strengthen your relationship so that your desire to talk isn't solely about money.
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Be grateful for whatever financial assistance they provide. If you show disappointment, frustration, or a sense of entitlement, they may be reluctant to give you money in the future.
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Always have a solid reason for needing the money if they inquire.
Important Considerations
- Avoid making asking for money from your parents a regular habit. Not only will they be less willing to help over time, but they may also believe you’re not managing your finances well and will encourage you to set up a more practical budget.
- Understand that your parents might not always have the financial ability to help you when you ask. They have to provide for the entire family, and there may not be any extra funds available at the time.
