Buzz
Workplace conflicts can arise due to various reasons, such as opportunities for advancement, salary disputes, feeling unappreciated, and personal differences. When conflicts occur, it's important to understand that it is not the end of the world, and you don’t need to quit your job. Approach the situation calmly and seek ways to resolve it. Always be the first to take initiative and address the issue, remembering not to turn the company’s problem into a personal one. Speak your mind but also listen to the perspectives of others. Ask questions and seek clarification on aspects you don’t fully understand. Finally, suggest solutions and stick to them.
Steps
Address the conflict
Acknowledge the existence of the conflict. Pretending everything is fine will not solve the issue. Start by recognizing that the problem exists and needs to be addressed. Acknowledge the conflict and the roles both parties played in creating and maintaining the issue. Be honest with yourself about your own role in the situation.
- Consider the factors affecting the situation, such as work schedules, personal conflicts, feelings of being overworked, or disruptions in company hierarchy.
- Don’t just view the issue from your perspective, but also consider the other party’s viewpoint. Looking at the issue from both sides will help you understand the problem more comprehensively.
Focus on the issue, not the person. If the conflict isn't personal, you shouldn't attack anyone. Focus on the issue and find ways to resolve it. You can't change the other person, and you may still have to work with them. Even if you don't want to befriend them, try to keep your attention on the current issue without making it personal.
- You might feel personally attacked when something relates to your work, but try not to take it personally and keep everything within the boundaries of work.
Be a pioneer. Identifying the issue early on is crucial to preventing it from worsening in the future. If you spot a problem, point it out right away. For instance, you could arrange a meeting to discuss the issue and work together to find a solution.
- Don't wait for the other person to approach you. Be the one to raise the issue first, regardless of your role in it.
Take control
Choose the right time and place for a conversation. A quick chat at your desk amidst new email notifications or noisy phone calls won't get you anywhere. Think carefully about when and where to address the issue. You need an appropriate space and time to bring up the matter without distractions.
- Decide whether you want to send an email or talk to them face-to-face. If you choose the latter, find a place where no colleagues will disturb you and ensure both of you have time for the conversation.
Ask if something is wrong. If someone has done something that upset you or if you don’t understand their actions, just 'ask' about it, and you'll notice a difference. Don’t assume that everything people do is to bother or harm you. Sometimes, they have legitimate reasons. Often, they don’t even realize that what they did hurt you, and when you bring it up, they'll clarify their intentions. Ask instead of accusing them. Try to maintain a neutral perspective and present your question out of curiosity.
- 'Hey, I don’t understand why you ignored my question yesterday,' or 'I noticed you cut my workload, but I’m not sure why.'
Listen to their perspective. When engaging in discussions with colleagues, avoid positioning yourself as the center of attention. Be open to listening to them, understanding their viewpoints, and considering their emotions. Allow them a suitable amount of time to express their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. If they feel the need to be cautious, let them do so. Do not interrupt when they are speaking.
- Don’t monopolize the conversation to share your own opinion. You need to listen to them. You may gain more insights and better understand them.
- Pay attention to whether they have finished speaking. You can ask, "Is there anything else you would like to add or tell me?"
Find common ground. Look for shared points with the other person. This might mean both parties acknowledging that the issue exists and needs to be addressed. Perhaps both agree that cooperation is essential to finding a solution. Whatever it is, find something both of you can contribute to.
- For example, if you feel bullied, both of you might agree that you’re struggling to collaborate or share responsibilities.
- Say: "I want us to resolve this. Let’s find things we can agree on to move forward with this."
Apologize for the mistake. Apologize for your part in the conflict. Typically, both parties have contributed to the issue for it to escalate. Acknowledge your role in creating tension and express regret and responsibility. Remember, you’re not taking full blame, but rather owning up to your share of the responsibility.
- For example, you could say, "I’m sorry for saying things that hurt you. I was upset, but calling you that was inappropriate."
Don’t act impulsively. If a colleague says something aggressive or hurtful, try to avoid responding harshly. You might say something you regret later, or escalate the issue beyond control. When a conflict arises, take time to reflect on it carefully before reacting. You may realize that you misheard, misunderstood, or need more clarification.
- Reacting impulsively might also mean responding negatively.
Avoid blaming and finger-pointing. Try not to react defensively and blame the other person. Even if you feel like the victim, you shouldn’t transfer your negativity onto them. It’s easy to call them out and tell others how badly they treated you, but remember, this is a workplace environment.
- If you want to express your feelings of hurt or confusion, use "I" statements. For example, say, "I feel hurt when in the meeting, you took credit for my work on that project" rather than "I can’t believe you did that. You’re awful!"
Find a solution
Invite HR to join the conversation. The Human Resources department can assist in resolving workplace conflicts. If the issue escalates or you feel like quitting because of it, it’s time for HR to step in. You can invite HR to help resolve the situation, whether it’s a personal conflict or if you feel workplace ethics are declining.
- HR will send someone to help you and the other party engage in a more constructive dialogue. A skilled mediator will help both sides discover their own solutions rather than imposing advice or forcing a specific resolution.
Develop a plan to resolve the issue. After a thorough discussion, present feasible solutions. Focus on the future and how both parties can react more positively. Identify areas where both of you can compromise or find better ways to communicate. Create an alternative solution or collaborate, such as taking turns working or writing things down instead of speaking them out loud.
- If you can’t come up with a plan on your own, ask your manager or HR for help to address the issue.
- For instance, if someone interrupts you in a meeting, say, "I would also like to be heard. Can you wait until I’m finished? If you interrupt me again, I’ll ask you to allow me to finish first."
Follow through on the plan. Simply proposing a solution is not enough. Both parties must adhere to the solution. Discuss ways for both sides to demonstrate accountability, even if it means the other person has to join you or the boss needs to intervene. Create a mechanism that ensures they take responsibility. To ensure any changes are effective, you may need HR to step in.
- For example, if you’re struggling to balance multiple projects, assign tasks before the project begins so that everyone feels it’s fair. Ask someone to mediate for feedback in the work.
Make necessary changes. Depending on the nature of the conflict, you might need to make some changes, such as changing your office location within the company. For example, if you can’t find a way to reconcile, consider transferring to a different position or department. If you know that interacting with the person will upset you or cause problems, you should only engage in casual conversations. Do everything you can to prevent creating or escalating any conflict.
Advice
- Inviting the person to discuss the issue might be one of the most challenging steps in the entire process. Every beginning is tough. Just go ahead and do it!
