How to Respond to the Question 'What do you like about me?'

Take a deep breath. When someone asks you this question, it can catch you off guard or make you feel embarrassed, as you’re put on the spot. The anxiety can make you blurt out whatever comes to mind without thinking. At times, your mind might even go completely blank, leaving you unsure of what to say! Take a deep breath before responding to regain control.

Start with a simple response. Is the person asking a friend? A significant other? Or a family member? Regardless of who they are, make sure to show that you appreciate their presence and role in your life. If the question catches you off guard, begin with the simplest response to buy yourself some time to think of a more detailed reply.

• For example, you could say to a friend: 'To me, you’re an amazing friend.'
• For your significant other, you might say: 'You’re such a caring boyfriend.'

Provide a more detailed response. After opening with a simple comment, you can elaborate by mentioning specific qualities that you appreciate about them. For instance, for a friend, you could add: 'I like you because you’re always there for me and support me.' For your partner, you could tell him: 'You’re someone who always looks after me and nurtures our relationship.' You can also add things like:

• 'You’re the first boyfriend who has made me feel truly special.'
• 'I always look forward to the weekends when we can hang out and have fun together.'

Give an example to support your comment. Try to come up with a specific example that illustrates your comment about them. For instance, with a friend, you could say: 'You were there when my dog Lucy passed away. I was so sad at that time, thank you for spending time with me and comforting me.' Or, with your partner, you could say: 'You were so thoughtful when you planned our picnic for our two-month anniversary.' You could also add other examples like:

• 'You’re so funny! I still laugh out loud thinking about last summer when we pranked your brother.'
• 'When I was sick, you called to check if I was okay. No one else cares for me like you do.'
• 'You’re so smart. I passed my algebra test because of your thorough tutoring.'

Use specific and positive language. Instead of vague compliments like: 'You’re really smart,' try saying: 'You have a true talent for art. The painting you just made is amazing. I wish I could paint like you!' Instead of neutral statements like: 'You’re always nice to everyone,' you could say: 'You always make an effort to treat others with kindness and generosity.' Use words that convey positive specifics, such as 'talented' and 'generous.' Here are a few more examples you could use:

• 'You’re never afraid of anything! I really admire your courage.'
• 'You’re knowledgeable and passionate about music! I love that every time we meet, I get to share new bands with you.'

Talk about the best qualities of that person. When you think of this person and their character, what thoughts or words come to mind first? Humorous? Smart? Decisive? Talented? Cheerful? Charming? Energetic? Let them know how you feel! You could say things like:

• "I love your sense of humor! I can't stop laughing when I'm with you!"
• "I admire how optimistic and cheerful you are. You always know how to make things feel positive, and I enjoy being around you."

Focus on their personality rather than their appearance. Compliments about appearance might be nice, but try to make your response highlight their character. You can still mention their attractiveness, but if all you talk about is their looks, they might think that’s the only thing you care about. You can say things like:

• "You are such a good listener."
• "You inspire me a lot."
• "You have such a kind heart."

Take a moment to consider why they are asking you this. If your best friend just broke up with their partner, they might be feeling down and insecure. Or, if your significant other is asking this question, they might feel uncertain about your relationship. If you've had an argument with someone recently, they may be worried that you're upset with them. Understanding why they are asking you this question allows you to offer words of encouragement and support. You could say things like:

• "I’ve never felt love this strong. To me, you really are everything."
• "No matter what happens, I will always be your best friend."

Respond to the question seriously. When asked unexpectedly, you might find the question confusing or silly, but the person asking might genuinely want to know the answer. If you're busy, take a moment to focus on them and answer thoughtfully. Don’t forget to smile and make eye contact when responding. Think carefully instead of giving a shallow or dismissive answer.

• If they've asked this question many times without a clear reason, they may just be fishing for a compliment. This is often the case if they're never satisfied with your answer.
• If that’s the case, you could say: "I’ve already answered this question so many times, what more do you want to hear?"

Be sincere. If someone feels close enough to ask you what you like about them, it’s likely that you already know them well. Therefore, don’t give them an insincere answer. If you truly admire that person, let them know your genuine feelings.

• You might tell your friend: “Vân, since we were five years old, you’ve been my best friend. We’ve been through so much together, and I don’t know where I’d be in life without you.” Afterward, you can share more specific details.
• Although rare, if someone you don’t like or don’t know well asks you this question, try to answer diplomatically. Give them the most sincere response you can. For example, you might say, “I don’t know you well yet, but you seem like a really good person.”