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Understanding who you are can be a challenging task, whether you’re reflecting in a journal, preparing for an interview, or aiming for greater happiness and fulfillment. However, it’s essential to first define yourself internally before you can express it to others. While the specifics of what makes up an individual may vary depending on your philosophical views, there are certain elements of yourself that can help you answer this question. Consider identifying your skills, passions, personality traits, and values as ways to uncover who you truly are.
Steps
Unraveling Your Personality and Core Beliefs
Explore online personality quizzes. While not all personality assessments are equally insightful, some can offer valuable insights into your character. For example, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator divides individuals into pairs of traits across four categories. Alternatively, you could try the Big Five personality test.
- Apply your results. After receiving your results, use them to understand your decision-making process and how you perceive the world. It can also shed light on how you interact with others and why you may react the way you do in particular situations.
- For example, if you discover that you’re an introvert, this can help explain why social events might drain you and offer strategies for managing your energy levels.
Reflect on your most significant achievements. List the three accomplishments you are most proud of. What common threads run through these moments? Now, think about what you consider your greatest failures. What similarities do these share?
Recognize the lessons you've learned. Considering both your successes and failures, reflect on your actions that led to those outcomes, or how you might approach things differently now. For instance, if earning a degree is one of your proudest moments, it suggests you value hard work and persistence. Conversely, if a major failure involved making poor decisions, like getting drunk and betraying a partner, it indicates a struggle with self-control and commitment—an area you'd likely want to improve upon moving forward.
Examine the people you admire. Think about the individuals you respect the most. What qualities in them do you admire? Which characteristics do you wish you possessed? What principles guide them? Those values are probably ones you hope to embody as well.
Reflect on what matters most to you. To understand your core values, consider what holds the most significance in your life. It could be family, friendships, or something else entirely.
- A helpful exercise is to ask yourself reflective questions. For example: What items would you save if your house were burning (other than your loved ones and pets)? What would you change in the world if given the power? What drives your passion? The recurring answers will reveal the values that are important to you.
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Turn your insights into value statements. For example, you may have discovered that hard work is a priority for you, making it one of your core values. You’ve also realized that moderation and loyalty matter to you, which means these are also integral to your values.
Let your values steer your decisions. It's one thing to have values, but the true measure of who you are lies in how you act upon them. Integrity is earned when you live according to your values, so if you aim to be someone with integrity, you need to honor what you believe in through your actions.
Allow your values to shape your identity. The combination of your personality and your values dictates your actions. For instance, if family is your top priority, you will naturally choose your family over work or other commitments. On the other hand, if your career is your greatest value, you might decide that your focus is on your work instead of starting a family. What you prioritize in life essentially defines who you are.
- Once you recognize how your values influence your identity, you can articulate them. For example, if family is central to your life, you may describe yourself as a “family-oriented person,” whereas if your work takes precedence, you might say, “I’m passionate about my career.”
Uncovering Your Passions
Reflect on what you loved doing as a child. If you were drawn to coloring, you might have a hidden passion for design. If you enjoyed building things with toys like blocks or logs, your passion might lie in architecture or construction.
- Think not only about what you loved but also why you loved it. For example, if you enjoyed arranging building blocks, it could be because you loved the order and color, revealing a passion for organization and structure.
Imagine what you'd do if money was no concern. If you suddenly found yourself financially secure—free from the need to worry about rent or basic needs—how would you choose to spend your time? Think beyond idle leisure. Would you explore a hobby? Volunteer? Visit a museum or library? What you’d choose to do points directly to your core passions.
Notice when you lose track of time. Think about those moments when you’re so immersed in what you’re doing that time seems to fly by. Those are the moments worth paying attention to because they reveal the activities you’re truly passionate about.
Reflect on what you dislike. Identifying what you don’t enjoy is just as vital as discovering what you love. Understanding your dislikes can help guide you toward the right passions or career path.
- Start by focusing on the tasks you avoid. What is it about them that bothers you? Why do they make you uneasy? By answering these questions, you'll begin to see patterns that reveal preferences—maybe you dislike organizing, or perhaps you're not fond of socializing.
Create a space for inspiration. Whether it’s a journal, vision board, or poster, create a place to collect things that inspire you. Pin up quotes, images, and ideas. As you begin to fill your space, you'll notice recurring themes that help you uncover your passions.
- Gather materials from anywhere—old magazines, junk mail, or online sources—whatever sparks inspiration.
Make curiosity a daily habit. Whenever something piques your curiosity, take a moment to explore it. You might discover a new passion just by following up on an intriguing thought. Dive into research using the internet or visit your local library to start exploring.
Say "yes" to new experiences. When life presents an opportunity to try something different, embrace it. For example, if your job offers a new challenge, take it on. If a friend invites you to something unfamiliar, join in. You never know where these new experiences might lead you to discover something you love.
Explore the possibilities. A great way to discover your passions is by trying new things. Visit the library and dive into books on topics that catch your interest. Consider joining various local clubs or enrolling in classes at your community center. However, exploring doesn’t always require leaving your home—try doodling one afternoon or spending time tending to your garden. Stay open to new possibilities.
Allow your passions to express who you are. Your passions are the canvas through which you communicate yourself to the world. They are also what shape your identity, as they fuel your actions and goals. This is why it’s so essential to nurture them. If you have a passion for art, you can showcase your personality through creation or by supporting artists.
Uncovering Your Skills
Reflect on your past successes. Where have you excelled in the past? Consider the subjects where you've earned good grades or the tasks friends and family rely on you to complete because you’re naturally good at them. Make a list of the things you’re skilled at.
- Your skills form an important part of your identity, as others often associate you with the things you do well.
Think about the skills you've gained through work. Many jobs teach you valuable skills, often without you realizing it. For example, working in a fast-food restaurant hones your ability to handle pressure and resolve conflicts quickly.
- Jobs in retail or food service are excellent for developing people skills.
- Furthermore, your profession becomes a part of your identity, as you spend a significant amount of time in your job, and it inevitably shapes who you are.
Take online skill assessments. Many platforms, particularly those focused on job searching and freelancing, offer you the opportunity to complete skill tests. These tests are a great way to evaluate your expertise in specific areas, typically those relevant to the workforce.
Seek feedback from friends, family, and colleagues. The people around you can provide valuable insights into your skill set. As you engage with the world, don’t hesitate to ask for reviews of your abilities. Supervisors are also great resources for feedback on your strengths in various areas. You can also ask loved ones if they think you excel at particular skills.
Shape your identity through your skills. As you advance in your career, your skills will largely define your professional identity. When job hunting, you essentially present a list of your capabilities and experience. While this doesn’t capture the entirety of who you are, it remains a crucial part of your overall identity.
