Buzz
It can be a bit nerve-wracking when someone asks you, "What do you like about me?" Even if you have countless reasons to appreciate them, being put on the spot can make it difficult to express your feelings the way you want. Take a moment to take a breath to ensure you respond thoughtfully. Greet the person with a smile and focus your attention on them. Start with something simple, and build on that. Once you break the ice, it’ll likely become easier to share more genuine thoughts.
Steps
Responding to the Question
Take a deep breath. When someone asks you this question, it might catch you by surprise or make you feel anxious because they’re putting you in the hot seat. Anxiety can cause you to speak impulsively without fully thinking, and it may even cause your mind to go blank, making it hard to come up with a response. So, take a deep breath before you begin to answer.
Begin with something simple. Is this person a friend? A partner? A family member? No matter their relationship to you, start by appreciating them for their role. If the question takes you by surprise, beginning with a basic response can give you time to come up with a more detailed answer.
- For example, you could tell a friend, “You’re such an amazing friend.”
- To a partner, you might say, “You’re such a caring boyfriend.”
Provide more specifics. Once you’ve opened up, go into more detail by highlighting certain qualities. To a friend, you might say, “I really appreciate how you’re always there for me. You make me feel supported.” For a partner, you might express, “You’re such a thoughtful person. You consistently show a lot of care for our relationship.” Here are some other things you could mention:
- “You’re the first girlfriend who has made me feel truly special.”
- “I look forward to every hangout with you. I always have such a great time.”
Support your response with an example. Think of a specific instance that illustrates your point. For instance, you could say to a friend, “You really supported me when my dog Lucy passed away. I was devastated, and you took the time to comfort me.” Or to a partner, “You really showed your thoughtfulness when you planned a picnic for us to celebrate our two-month anniversary.” Here are some other examples:
- “You’re hilarious! I still laugh about the prank we pulled on your brother last summer.”
- “You checked in on me when I was sick. Nobody else did that.”
- “You’re so intelligent. I aced my algebra exam thanks to your help with studying.”
Emphasizing the Positive
Choose positive and specific language. Rather than using vague statements like, “You’re good at school,” try something more detailed such as, “You’re incredibly talented in art class. Your last project was amazing. I wish I could draw like you!” Instead of saying something neutral like, “You’re always nice to everyone,” you could express, “You truly go out of your way to show kindness and compassion to others.” Use specific, positive terms like “talented” and “compassionate.” Some examples:
- “You’re so brave! I admire your courage.”
- “You’re so knowledgeable and passionate about music! Every time we hang out, you introduce me to new bands.”
Tell them about their standout personality trait. When you think about this person and their character, what’s the first positive thought or word that comes to mind? Are they humorous? Intelligent? Ambitious? Gifted? Cheerful? Attractive? Enthusiastic? Whatever it is, share it with them! For example, you could say:
- “I love how funny you are. You always make me laugh when we hang out!”
- “I appreciate how happy and positive you are. You radiate good energy, and I love being around you.”
Prioritize their personality over their appearance. While it may seem natural to mention their physical appearance, try to focus more on their personality when answering this question. It’s totally fine to say they are beautiful or handsome – but if that’s the only thing you highlight, they might leave thinking their looks are the only thing you admire. Try saying things like:
- “You’re such a great listener.”
- “You motivate me.”
- “You have such a kind heart.”
Being Considerate
Pause and consider why they’re asking. If your best friend has just gone through a breakup, they may be feeling down or struggling with their self-esteem. Your partner might be feeling insecure about your relationship. If there’s been tension with a friend, they might be anxious, wondering if you still like them. Understanding the reason behind the question will help you provide an uplifting response. You could say:
- “I’ve never felt this way about a boyfriend. You mean everything to me.”
- “No matter what happens, I’ll always be your friend.”
Take their question seriously. While their sudden question might seem odd or even playful to you, they likely want to know why you appreciate them. Stop whatever you’re doing and focus on them, so you can provide a thoughtful response. Smile and make eye contact when answering. Take the time to think carefully about your words instead of giving a hasty or shallow reply.
- If this question has been asked repeatedly without real purpose, they might just be seeking compliments. This is especially true if they never seem satisfied with your answers.
- In that case, you could respond with, “I’ve already answered this question a few times. Is something else going on?”
Be genuine. If someone feels comfortable enough to ask you what you like about them, it’s likely that you already have a good understanding of who they are. Therefore, there’s no need to offer a forced or insincere response. You truly appreciate the person, so share your honest feelings.
- For example, to a friend, you could say, "Sarah, you’ve been my best friend since we were kids. We’ve been through so much together, and I can’t imagine my life without you in it." Then, you can go on to highlight specific reasons.
- In a rarer case, if this question comes from someone you don’t know well or don’t feel fond of, try to be kind and sincere. You might say, "I don’t know you very well, but you seem like a genuinely nice person."
