Buzz
It’s common to feel a bit flustered when a guy asks you out, even if you were expecting it. By understanding the thoughtful ways to accept a date – whether in person or online – and how to politely decline if you’re not interested, you can be ready to handle the situation gracefully when a guy asks you out.
Instructions
How to Accept a Date Proposal in Person
Stay composed. If you've been eagerly waiting for this particular guy to ask you out, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed or overly enthusiastic. However, try to stay composed while expressing your excitement about the date. Smile and let him know that you'd be thrilled to go out with him.
Give him a clear answer. It may seem tempting to act distant when a guy asks you out, but try not to. If he gathered the courage to ask you, you should respond promptly with a clear answer instead of playing hard-to-get.
- For instance, you could say something like, “I’d love to go out with you!” rather than “Let me check my schedule and get back to you.”
- If you're unsure about your availability, it’s okay to agree to the date and then check your schedule. You could say, “I’d love to go out – I think I’m free next Friday, but let me check my calendar.”
Suggest a spot where you can connect. If he hasn’t picked a specific place, you can offer a suggestion for the date. This not only shows your excitement but also ensures you’re comfortable with the location.
- Good first date venues include quiet coffee shops or cozy bars. Avoid the movies for a first date, as you won’t be able to converse, and you’ll end up knowing no more about him after the date than you did before. Also, eating a meal while trying to talk can be challenging.
Confirm your plans. It’s a good practice to confirm your date plans either the evening before or the day of the date. It shows him that you’re looking forward to it and ensures that you won’t show up at the wrong location or time.
Responding to an Online Date Invitation
Reply promptly. On online dating platforms, people you’re interested in can quickly become unavailable. If a guy you like asks you out, it’s important to respond as quickly as you can.
- For example, you can reply with something like, “Thanks so much for reaching out! I’d love to go out!”
Set up the date quickly. Just as it’s important not to delay in responding to a date request, you should also avoid waiting too long to meet up. The longer you wait, the higher the chance he might be taken by someone else. When you reply to accept the date, suggest a specific date and time.
- For instance, you can say, “Thanks for asking me out – I’d love to go! How about Friday at 8 PM?”
Keep online chats short. The main purpose of a date is to get to know the person in real life. While it’s tempting to ask a lot of questions once you’ve been asked out, save those for the date itself where you can observe body language and get a better sense of who he is.
- Unless you both enjoy long phone calls, avoid calling him before your date except for logistical details. You can handle this through the dating app or website where you first connected.
Choose a public place for the meeting. Since you’re meeting someone from an online dating platform, and you may not have met them in person before, it’s a good idea to select a public space for your first date. This ensures there are others around in case anything unexpected happens.
Declining the Date
Show appreciation for his effort. If you receive a date invitation – whether online or in person – from someone you’re not interested in, start by acknowledging the courage it took to ask. Asking someone out can be nerve-wracking, and he made a bold move.
- For instance, you could say, “Thank you so much for asking/message me! I know it’s tough to take that first step.”
Provide a direct response. After acknowledging his effort, if you're not interested, give a clear “no.” Avoid saying “maybe” or “I need to think about it” if you’ve already made up your mind.
- For example, you can say, “I really appreciate you asking, but I’m not interested.”
Be truthful. It might be tempting to make up an excuse to soften the rejection, but this can leave your refusal open to misinterpretation. Instead, be as honest as possible.
- For instance, don’t say “I’m seeing someone” if you're not, or “I’m not looking for a relationship” if you actually are. Having an online dating profile clearly indicates you're open to dating, which makes these excuses sound insincere.
- If you're rejecting him because you're not interested in men, it’s okay to be honest about that too.
Don’t just ignore him. Whether the request is online or in person, avoid ignoring the guy completely. Make sure to respond, even if your response is brief and polite.
- However, if the request is from a stranger or is overly aggressive or inappropriate, it's acceptable to disregard it.
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If you're unsure about whether you should go on a date with someone, give him at least one chance (unless something about him makes you uncomfortable). You might discover you have more in common than you initially thought.
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Just take the plunge! What's the worst that could happen? If it turns out to be a mistake, you’ll learn from it, and if it’s not, you could be on the path to a happy relationship. There's nothing to lose!
The advice shared here comes from the real-life experiences of Mytour readers like you. If you have a useful tip you'd like to contribute, feel free to submit it in the space provided below.
- If you’ve already agreed to a date but later change your mind, it’s perfectly fine to cancel. Simply thank him for the invitation and explain that after giving it more thought, you don’t feel like you’re a great match. It’s better to cancel than to go on a date that feels uncomfortable.
- For a first date with someone you’ve met online, choose a public place like a café or a park. Avoid sharing your home address until you’re more comfortable with him. Stay safe when meeting someone new for the first time.
- If you want to maintain the friendship after declining the date, make it clear that you still value your friendship. Let him know that you’re interested in keeping that connection and suggest focusing on a platonic relationship moving forward.
- Avoid gossiping to your friends about who asked you out or how you responded. Keep those details private to avoid the spread of embarrassing rejections.
Warnings
- Unless you’ve known someone for a long time and trust them, always meet in a public space for your first date.
- If you feel that rejecting a date offer might trigger a negative or even violent reaction, it’s wise to tell the person you need time to think and then address the situation later in a public place.
