How to Respond When He Replies After a Long Silence

It's already frustrating when he doesn't reply to your message, but it can be even more bewildering when he reappears in your inbox after several hours, days, or even weeks. Don't worry – we're here to guide you on what to do next. Take your time to think about what you'd like to say, then ask him why he 'disappeared' for so long. Based on his response, you'll be able to decide whether to give him another chance or simply delete his contact for good!

Let him wonder whether or not you'll reply. After all, he's the one who ignored you, so you have every right to make him experience the same thing. There's no exact time to wait, but you should hold off for at least 10-15 minutes.

• You can even wait until the next day to respond, especially if he messaged you at night!
• If he sees you've read the message without replying, that's fine. You don't have to respond immediately whenever you receive a message!

Pause for a moment to reflect on your emotions. When you finally receive the long-awaited message, you're likely feeling some excitement, but there might also be feelings of disappointment or anger because he had been silent before. Take a few minutes to process your emotions – this will influence how you respond.

• If you're swept up in excitement upon receiving his message, you may overlook the fact that he disappeared earlier. This might make him think it's okay to do this again in the future.
• On the other hand, taking some time to reflect might make you realize that if he wants to be a part of your life, he needs to treat you better – and that's something you should tell him.
• You may even decide not to respond at all, and feel no guilt about it!

Don't just pick up where the conversation left off last time. If you do that, he'll think he can vanish as he pleases and that you'll always be ready to welcome him back. Be direct and address the issue with statements like:

• "Wow, it's been a while since I heard from you. What happened?"
• "Hmm... I'm surprised to hear from you. I thought you'd disappeared."
• "What happened since we last talked? You just went quiet all of a sudden!"
• "Sorry, I don't recognize this number. Who is this?"

Test his response to see if it makes sense. You're entitled to question his explanation, especially if you suspect he's the type to play around. However, to be fair, you should ask and listen to his side of the story, then compare it to what you know about him to see if it adds up.

• If you know he recently got a puppy and he claims his phone was chewed up by the dog, it's likely a truthful explanation. But if he's been posting on Snapchat all week, don't hesitate to point that out!
• If his dating profile says he's an only child but now he's telling you he had to attend his younger brother's wedding in a distant province, that's definitely suspicious.
• Does your gut feeling tell you he's lying? Sometimes trusting your intuition is a good idea.

Express your feelings when he ignores you. Keep this part brief – 1-2 sentences should be enough to let him know why you're upset that he left the conversation hanging. Use statements with the subject as 'I' to prevent him from getting defensive. You could say:

• "I thought we had a mutual understanding, so I felt disappointed when I didn't hear from you for so long."
• "I felt confused when you ended the conversation abruptly."
• "I was worried when you didn't text me for days, and then when I saw you active on social media, I realized you were ignoring me. That hurt and really made me angry."

Politely let him know that he needs to try harder. You are a star, and you deserve to be treated like one! If he wants to text someone as amazing as YOU, he has to put in the effort – and the fact that he left you staring at the 'seen' notification for a week proves he's not putting in the work. You could say:

• "I don't want to chase after people who don't make time for me."
• "If you cared about me, it wouldn't be hard to respond to my messages."
• "Right now, I want to be in a serious relationship, and I don't have time for someone who texts me once a month."

Maintain your standards so that he respects you. When you stand up for yourself, he'll have to respect you more than if you let him treat you however he wants. By making it clear that you don't accept being ignored, you'll show that you have standards and confidence. If he doesn't listen, it means he's not the right one for you.

• For example, you could say, "We went on two dates, and then you stopped calling. That's fine, but I rarely give second chances to those who ignore me."
• You could also say, "I'm busy too, but I still make time to text people who are important to me, especially when they text me first."

Forgive him if there's a reasonable explanation. Maybe his phone broke, or maybe he was busy and forgot to reply to your messages. If he shows genuine concern and the reason seems reasonable, you should trust him.

• Say something like, "I guess I'll forgive you this time, but only because you're just too handsome ;)"
• You’ll know he values you if he consistently responds quickly to your calls and messages, looks excited when he sees you, and often invites you to do things together.

You might also consider making up with him if he seems to miss you. His reasons might not be entirely justified, but it's been a while, and now he's suddenly texting something that reminds you of him. You should still let him know that his silence wasn’t okay, but clearly, he still cares about you, so you could give him another chance.

• Alternatively, you may decide not to talk to him anymore, especially if he's someone who comes and goes frequently.

If he only texts you occasionally, it’s likely he doesn’t care about you much. This behavior is called "leading on"—he only sends small, enough messages to keep you interested. He may be keeping you as an option for casual fun and isn't seriously getting to know you. You deserve better than this!

• To test him, wait until he texts you, and then suggest doing something low-key, like getting coffee or taking a walk in the park. If he turns you down, chances are he’s just leading you on.

Don’t let a guy affect your self-esteem. It’s sad to fall for someone who only gives you just enough attention to keep you holding onto hope. Anyone can find themselves in this situation, but remember – if he doesn’t value you, he’s not the one for you.

Meet new people and enjoy life’s moments. Life is too short to sit there, phone in hand, waiting for a guy to text you back. It’s okay to feel a bit disappointed, but don’t let it stop you from socializing with others. Soon enough, someone will come along who will give you the time and attention you deserve.

• Enjoy life! Spend time with family and friends, dive into hobbies, set new goals for your personal and professional life, and introduce yourself to new people.