Buzz
Feelings of insecurity can manifest in various forms and affect many areas of life. When you feel embarrassed about your weight or body, you might want to hide them under layers of clothing and avoid going out. Surprisingly, it's not just girls who feel self-conscious about their bodies; boys do too. In fact, people of all sizes and shapes can struggle with body confidence, even if they are not overweight. There are several things you can do to address self-doubt, starting with accepting and loving your body as it is.
Steps
Challenge Your Embarrassment
Remind yourself that embarrassment is a feeling, not a fact. When you feel anxious, it may seem like everyone is paying attention to you. Every aspect of you seems exposed to others, especially your flaws. Know that this is just an internal feeling. Often, people are so preoccupied with themselves that they don't pay much attention to you.
- When you feel deeply ashamed of your body, instead of holding onto those emotions, express them. Talk to a friend or sibling about how you're feeling. This way, you can get honest feedback from others.
Identify the root cause of your embarrassment. To improve self-esteem issues, you need to pinpoint their origin. Were you teased about your weight as a child? Is there someone who constantly makes you feel self-conscious? Did your parents frequently comment on how you should lose weight?
Address people who make you feel insecure about your weight. If your embarrassment stems from others' criticism, the solution may lie in one of two approaches. You’ll need to reflect deeply to determine whether the relationship is worth the pain caused by their negative comments or judgments.
- If they are a distant friend or acquaintance whose insults make you feel bad about yourself, it might be time to end the relationship. You deserve supportive relationships, and no one should belittle you.
- If a close friend or family member keeps criticizing your weight, confront them. They need to understand how their remarks affect you. Once you have an honest conversation, they may realize the harm of their words and stop offending or criticizing you.
- If you decide to confront them, inform them beforehand and choose a neutral location. Use "I" statements and avoid blaming them. Simply express your feelings with facts. For example: "I feel hurt/sad/embarrassed when you comment on my weight. I would really appreciate it if you could stop doing this."
Ask yourself if others are truly criticizing you. If efforts to identify the source of your embarrassment yield no results, these feelings might be deeply ingrained in your thoughts. Perhaps your lack of body confidence stems from media messages. Maybe your body size and shape don’t match those of models or actors on TV, making you feel unattractive. Or maybe past weight loss attempts failed, leading to emotional and mental pressure.
- It’s time to wake up to media messages. Both women and men idealize body types they can’t achieve, often enhanced by Photoshop to appear flawless. Remind yourself that real bodies come in all shapes and sizes. Look around; every day, you’ll see many beautiful people of all body types.
Accept Yourself
Learn to accept who you are right now. Even if you’re overweight, your body is still amazing. Your heart never stops beating. Your brain is a supercomputer. Your eyes let you see the wonders of life and the world around you. You have so much to be grateful for if you can see, hear, smell, move, and do what you want. Practice some self-love exercises to learn to accept your body as it is.
- When you get out of bed each morning, marvel at your body’s health and resilience. Your legs carry you everywhere. Your hands help you tie your shoes and hold objects. Your nose lets you smell freshly brewed coffee. Isn’t your body a miracle?
- Stand in front of a mirror and think positively about what you see. Before showering or changing clothes, stand naked or in your underwear and admire your incredible body. Say this: "I fully accept and love my body as it is. I am grateful for this amazing body and the gift of life."
Challenge negative thoughts. During your fitness journey, if negative thoughts arise, don’t dwell on them. Instead, reflect on how amazing your body is.
- Reframing means turning a negative perspective into a positive one. This takes practice, but once you can identify which thoughts are unhelpful or negative (Hint: Those that make you feel bad.), you can eliminate that internal dialogue and reframe it.
- For example, you might think, "I look terrible in this outfit. Everyone will laugh at me." When reframing, ask yourself if there’s ever been a time when everyone laughed at you. If the answer is no, you can reframe this statement to say, "Everyone has different opinions about style. I like this outfit, and that’s what matters most." This reframing is not only more positive but also more realistic.
Reevaluate your beliefs. Sometimes, we feel unattractive because we hold deep-seated beliefs about what we should or shouldn’t have. An example of such a belief is: "To be attractive, I must be thin." Understand that it’s okay to let go of beliefs that no longer serve you.
- Ask yourself how you would react if you found out a close friend was harming their body. You’d likely tell them how beautiful they are. Point out all their strengths and remind them of their many good qualities.
- Tell yourself these things when you notice negative beliefs or attitudes about your body affecting you. Say things like, "I’m smart. I have beautiful skin. I looked amazing in that outfit last night."
Determine if there’s a deeper issue. If you constantly struggle with self-esteem or negative self-image, leading to extreme dieting or disordered eating, consult a specialist experienced in self-perception and eating disorders. A mental health professional in this field can help you apply cognitive and behavioral methods to change negative thoughts about your body and develop healthy habits.
- Another solution to boost confidence is joining a self-image support group. Your specialist can refer you to a local group or may even lead one themselves. These groups connect you with others facing similar self-image challenges and provide support to help you overcome these struggles.
Take Action
Stop using the scale. This might seem counterintuitive, but a surefire way to stop obsessing and feeling bad about your weight is to ditch the scale. The truth is, the scale is just one way to measure progress—and not the most reliable one. Plus, if you step on the scale every morning and blame yourself for the number staying the same or increasing, it can cause unnecessary frustration.
- Weight can be misleading. For example, 68kg looks completely different on someone who is 1.58m tall compared to someone who is 1.7m tall.
- Instead of focusing on weight, track progress with more reliable methods, such as regular blood tests to measure blood sugar, blood pressure, and cholesterol. These numbers provide useful health insights and can detect potential issues early.
- Visit a gym or fitness center and work on your body composition. This can help determine if you have a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI) and whether you need to reduce fat and build muscle, both of which affect your weight on the scale.
Implement a healthy eating plan. If you’re unhappy with your weight, adopting a nutritious diet can boost your confidence. This is a proven way to take action against body-related insecurities. Focus on consuming high-quality, unprocessed foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean meats, seafood, seeds, nuts, and low-fat dairy. Avoid refined and heavily processed foods that alter their natural state.
- Visit choosemyplate.gov for balanced diet recommendations from the U.S. Department of Agriculture if you live in the U.S.
- For personalized and private feedback on your diet, especially regarding BMI and lifestyle, consult a nutritionist.
Stay active. The second most important factor for improving health is maintaining a regular fitness routine. This doesn’t mean spending hours in the gym. A fitness program can include a variety of enjoyable activities like volleyball, swimming, or dancing. Regular exercise helps burn calories, improves your self-image, boosts energy levels, and reduces stress.
Set goals for yourself. Setting goals creates a roadmap for success. Defining objectives helps you evaluate whether your daily activities align with your aspirations or lead you astray. Achieving goals builds confidence and self-esteem. If you want to feel less self-conscious about your weight, consider setting weight loss or fitness goals, such as eating more vegetables or exercising five days a week. Ensure your goals follow the S.M.A.R.T method.
- Specific: Define your goal by answering: Who is involved? What do you want to accomplish? Where will it happen? When will it start/end? Why are you doing this?
- Measurable: Track and measure your progress.
- Achievable: Set challenging yet realistic goals. For example, avoid aiming for rapid weight loss in a short time.
- Results-focused: S.M.A.R.T. goals focus on outcomes. Monitor progress over time to determine if you’ve achieved your goal.
- Time-bound: Set a realistic and practical timeframe to stay focused.
Dress to look your best. Another way to overcome self-consciousness is to feel confident in your appearance. Visit a stylist for a haircut or look that complements your facial features. Additionally, review your wardrobe and assess each item. Ask yourself if they make you feel happy, confident, and attractive. Do you frequently reach for or wear certain pieces? If they don’t make you look great, stop wearing them (or donate them).
- If you can’t afford a complete wardrobe overhaul, buy a few favorite pieces. As your budget allows, add new items that make you feel confident and reflect the person you want to be. You should smile at yourself in the mirror when wearing these outfits.
- Look for small boutiques or stores that sell well-tailored, high-quality clothing. These items don’t have to be expensive but should be stylish and durable. Choose a few flattering pieces that enhance your confidence and highlight your body’s beauty.
Tips
- Always be true to yourself. If wearing clothes in a certain way makes you happy, don’t change your style based on others’ opinions.
- You don’t have to stick to dark colors to appear slimmer. Colors can work wonders for people of all body shapes and sizes. Experiment with what you think suits you best!
