Buzz
When you find yourself interested in a guy, you might think about sending him a direct message. It's a great way to take the first step, but there are a few things to keep in mind before you start. To make sure you get a response instead of just seeing 'read' notifications, follow these essential tips below.
Steps
Make sure your profile reflects who you are.
Before sending a direct message to him, review your profile. Is your profile picture a portrait of yourself or a random meme? Upload a few beautiful pictures of yourself and highlight your interests to showcase your personality.
- Share images that give a glimpse into your hobbies, like pictures of you rollerblading, playing music, or strolling on the beach.
- Don't try to pose in a way to attract him. Being proud of your true self is already incredibly attractive!
- If you're not comfortable posting pictures of yourself online, that's okay, but be sure to introduce yourself or let him know who you are when sending the message.
Check out his profile to discover what interests he has.
Use the information you find to kick off a conversation. Interesting topics to explore might include his favorite band, the sports team he supports, his favorite books, and any recent trips he’s taken, like a beach vacation or a ski trip. You can also look for:
- Photos of his pets
- Posts where he’s playing music
- Artworks or films he enjoys
Ask about something from his profile to get to know him better.
Ask thoughtful, specific questions about his interests. If he’s posted lots of photos of himself surfing, ask about the beach in the picture. If his Twitter account is full of posts from his favorite musicians, you can ask about his favorite bands. He’ll likely appreciate your interest and respond!
- Try saying, 'This surfing pic is awesome! Which beach is that?' or 'I love Blink-182 too! Which album is your favorite?'
Explore the things he likes, such as a TV show or a movie.
Check if he mentions any TV shows or movies on his profile. Send him a message with a link to a recent interview with his favorite band. You could also share a funny meme or GIF related to one of his favorite TV series or movies.
- If you notice he posted a picture wearing a Steven Universe shirt, send him a GIF from the show with the caption, 'Saw this and thought of you.'
Ask him to recommend something to you.
He’ll be proud and happy to offer suggestions. If you’re unfamiliar with a lot of his interests, ask if he has any cool recommendations for things you should try. It could be bands, movies, books, or even musicians worth checking out. Start with a compliment about his taste to sound friendly and a bit flirty.
- If he often shares books he loves, you might text him something like, 'I love all the books you’ve posted recently! I’m looking for something new to read. Any recommendations?'
Bring up how you know him.
Mention the situation in which the two of you met, either online or in person. Be sure to include specific details, like the messages you exchanged on Tinder, an interesting conversation at a party, or the fact that you both attend the same school. If you’ve never met in person but share mutual friends or interests, mention that.
- If you’ve never met, you could say, 'Hey, I’m Nhung! I’m in the English 101 class with you.'
- If you met at a party and bonded over graphic novels, you could text, 'Hi, I’m Phuong. We met at the party last weekend. I just finished the book you recommended. It was amazing!'
Compliment him.
A little flattery can go a long way. Send him a sincere compliment and try to focus on something deeper than just his looks. You may not know him well yet, but think about the traits that attract you. It could be his fashion sense, his sense of humor through funny memes, or his artistic talent.
- If he’s an artist, you could text, 'I love your paintings! The way you mix colors is amazing.'
- If he often posts fashion photos, you could say, 'Your style is so unique.'
Reply to his story.
If you like any of his stories, send him a message. To increase the chance of getting a reply, it’s best to ask a question about the story. Send a message, don’t just react with a flame emoji, because he’ll have nothing to respond to, even if he likes your reaction.
- If his story is about his cat, you could text, 'Aww, so cute! What’s its name?'
- If he posts a picture of a popular bar in town, you could say, 'I love that place. It’s the best spot for fun in our city!'
Keep the conversation going with open-ended questions.
Craft your first message to start building a connection. Avoid asking yes/no questions, as they can make the conversation end quickly. As you continue chatting, just respond with what you think. It’s normal to feel a bit nervous, but try not to overthink finding the perfect response, as that could slow the conversation down.
- For example, if you're talking about his guitar playing, you could ask something like, 'How did you get into playing the guitar?'
- Follow up by sharing your experience: 'I used to love playing the guitar, but I eventually switched to piano,' or 'I play guitar too. I especially love electric guitars. What about you?'
Invite him to hang out.
This is the ultimate goal of sending messages. After chatting for a few exchanges, ask if he’d like to meet up in person. If you're in different cities, you can suggest meeting up when you’re both in the same place. If he agrees, exchange phone numbers so you can communicate without relying on social media. That way, you can text about fun plans together.
- You could text, 'I’ve really enjoyed chatting with you. Would you like to grab a drink with me?' You could also suggest going for dinner, watching a movie, or taking a walk in the park.
- If you’re not in the same city, you could say, 'Let me know if you’re ever in town! We’ll meet up and have dinner together.'
