Buzz
You've been chatting online with a guy for some time and feel ready to take things to the next level, but you're unsure about how to go about it. Don't worry! Whether he's shy, introverted, or just not getting the hint, there are plenty of ways to get him to ask you out. To help you with this, we've gathered some tips and strategies, and hope you'll land that dream date of yours.
Steps
Say you'd like to meet up sometime.
Throw the ball in his court. If you've been talking online for a while and things have been going well, try suggesting that you'd like to meet in person. He might take the opportunity to ask you out. And just like that, he's invited you!
- The conversation could go something like this: you say, 'It's been so fun chatting with you, I'd love for us to meet sometime,' and he'll reply, 'I'd love that! How about dinner this Friday?'
- You might playfully say, 'I hope you're just as charming and fun in person!' He could respond with something like, 'Why don't we find out in person? How about coffee this Sunday afternoon?'
- If he's a bit hesitant or seems uninterested in meeting, try to stay casual and say, 'Who knows, maybe one day we will meet if fate allows.'
Make it clear that you want to hang out with him.
Say that if he invites you out, you might say yes. If you like this guy and want him to ask you out, why not be open about it? This will help him feel more confident and sure you'll agree.
- You could say, 'I really enjoy talking to you. If you asked me out for dinner, how could I say no?'
- You could also joke a little and say, 'Oh no! I think we have some serious chemistry here. I hope you’re not about to ask me out…'
- If he doesn’t take the bait, don’t push it. He’ll come around eventually!
Make a playful joke about him asking you out.
Use your sense of humor to give him the green light. If you’ve been playfully flirting with a guy and noticed that you have a good sense of humor, make the most of it. Try asking him for dating advice or asking if he knows anyone who’s looking for a girlfriend. He might join in on the joke, which could eventually lead to a real date!
- For example, you could say, 'I’m not sure what to do. I’d love to see this new movie on Friday night, but I’m not sure if any of the guys I talk to would want to come. Do you know anyone who’d be up for it?'
- Or, you could say, 'I have nothing planned for this weekend. I wish someone would hang out with me.'
Make assumptions about dating.
This is a great way to give him the green light. By making a playful half-joking comment about going out together, you’ll help him feel more confident about asking you out and ease his fear of rejection. Suggest a dating idea while creating the opportunity for him to invite you out—it's a win-win!
- You could ask, 'If we were to go on a date, where would you want to go?' This might encourage him to invite you out.
- You can also tease him by saying, 'Here’s the thing: I love to eat. Food is super important to me. I want to know where you'd take me if we went on a date.'
Talk about weekend plans.
Ask him what he plans to do in his free time. Everyone loves the weekend! He might be off work or have free time to go out with you. Let him know you have no plans and ask him what he's doing. He might invite you if he has plans or suggest hanging out since you both have time off.
- Try saying, 'I have nothing planned this weekend, how about you?' He could say, 'Same here! How about a movie?' or 'I have to attend this boring company party, want to come with me for some fun?'
- If he doesn’t seem interested, you can easily redirect the conversation by saying something like, 'No problem, we can go another time.'
Bring up something you’ve wanted to do for a while.
He might eventually invite you out. Talk about a movie you’ve been wanting to see, a restaurant you’ve been dying to try, or a coffee shop you’ve heard is amazing. Mention how fun it would be to go, and he’ll surely get the hint.
- You could say, 'I heard that bar has a typewriter you can use to write poems, how cool is that?' He might reply, 'That sounds great, want to go this weekend?'
- Or you could say, 'I heard the latest Fast and Furious movie is pretty bad, but I still want to see it.' He might say, 'Sure, let’s go this Friday!'
Play the waiting game.
Wait for him to make the first move. If you're very shy, don't know him well, or are unsure about your own feelings, don’t worry! You can still text him back and let things develop. If there’s a connection and he starts liking you, he will naturally invite you out.
- There’s nothing wrong with being cautious and letting the relationship develop naturally while you both get to know each other online.
- Don’t go overboard by sending him hundreds of messages or getting upset when he doesn't reply immediately. That will only make you seem desperate or push him away.
- If he seems to be making no moves, you can casually hint that you’d like to hang out with him.
Flirt with him.
Make him want to meet up and spend time with you. This is obvious, but if you want a guy to like you, you can flirt to let him know you're into him. Be a little playful in your conversation and show clearly that you like him more than just a friend. He might catch on and invite you out.
- For example, if he says, 'Work is so exhausting, I had such a stressful day,' you could respond with, 'Poor thing. But I can help you relax.'
- You can also compliment him by saying, 'A super charming guy like you probably never has trouble finding a girlfriend, right?'
Try to relax and stay calm.
This will send positive signals that make him feel attracted to you. It might be challenging to get a guy to like you and ask you out, but don’t let him see you sweat. Stay calm and collected whenever you're texting back and forth. Don’t make a big deal if he replies late or doesn’t catch on that you want him to invite you out. This could actually make him pursue you even more.
- For example, if he replies hours after receiving your message and says, 'Sorry for making you wait so long! I’ve been really busy.' You can simply reply with, 'No worries, I’ve been busy all day anyway.'
- You can also be a bit cheeky. If he messages you after a few days of silence, you could say something like, 'Oh, look who it is! Not that I’ve been sitting here waiting for you. Just kidding, how have you been lately?'
If the ox doesn’t find the stake, the stake will find the ox, you could invite him out.
Tell him you have plans and invite him to join you. Maybe he’s too shy or doesn’t realize you like him, but either way, you don’t have to wait if you don’t want to. Be upfront and grab him if you want!
- You could say, 'I’ve been wanting to check out this art exhibition for a while, and I’m going this Saturday. Would you like to come?'
- Or you could say, 'My favorite band is performing this Friday night. Would you want to come with me?'
Advice
- Don’t rush if you’ve only just met a guy online. Take your time talking more to get to know him. If there’s emotional chemistry, he’ll invite you out without you having to put in much effort.
Warning
- If you haven’t met him in person yet, make sure he is really who he claims to be. If his profile includes pictures, try searching for them on Google to see if they’re genuine. Check his social media accounts to make sure they aren’t fake or suspicious in any way.
