How to Share the News of Your Crush with Your Parents

Decide what you want to say. Your parents should be aware of your crush—especially if you're hoping to eventually date that special person—but how much should you share with them? How do you want them to view your crush? Take a moment to think about your relationship with your crush and where you stand. It's important to show your parents that you're handling this responsibly and aren't making reckless decisions (like bombarding your crush with calls five times a day).

• If you plan ahead and think about what you want to communicate, you'll be more prepared and feel calmer.
• Honesty is key. Trying to deceive your parents about who your crush is or how you interact will typically backfire. If your crush is someone truly amazing and you're ready for a relationship, you won't need to hide anything!

Make sure you're certain it's a crush. Don't rush into telling anyone that you have a crush unless you're absolutely sure it's a genuine one. You wouldn't want to feel embarrassed by saying you have a crush, only to later realize it was just a passing feeling.

• If your feelings have been building for months, though, it could be more than a crush—especially if you've spent time getting to know them and you sense they might like you too.

Ensure your crush is a good person. Before moving forward, make sure your crush is someone you'd actually want to be with. If they're a bully or involved in something wrong, like stealing, it's best to walk away. Don't keep pursuing someone just because you like them—there's someone out there who will be a better match for you. Staying involved with a person like that will only bring you trouble.

• It's normal to feel disappointed if you find out your crush isn't as great as you hoped. Your feelings were genuine, even if they turn out to not be the person you thought they were.

Keep your cool! The key to staying calm when telling your parents is taking deep, steady breaths. Inhale through your nose, then exhale through your mouth. Remember, you're only telling them about your crush, not announcing an engagement! It's okay to feel a little anxious, especially if you're worried about their reaction.

• Wait until you're ready to talk. You might still feel nervous, but once it's over, you'll feel a lot better.

Choose the right moment to talk to them. Try to find a time when it's just you and your parents. If you're the only child, that should be pretty easy. Dinner or lunch are good options, but if you catch them relaxing and watching TV, that can be a great moment too. The setting doesn't matter as much as the timing—just make sure you're not interrupting something important they're doing.

• The best time is when they're in a good mood and not busy with something else, like cooking or trying to juggle multiple tasks.

Just say it. Once you've found the perfect moment, all that's left to do is speak up. It might seem like a big deal, but it's really not! Start with something simple like, "Mom, Dad, I..." and the rest will follow. No need to overthink it; it'll come out naturally when you're ready.

• If you're not quite ready, it's okay to pause and gather your thoughts before telling them.
• If you're worried about forgetting what to say, write down your thoughts on a piece of paper. That way, you can just read the words when the time comes.

Highlight the good, but be honest about their flaws. To help your parents see your crush the way you do, talk about the positive traits they have. Maybe they helped organize a school event or contributed to a great cause. Let your parents know why they're a good person, but don't pretend they're perfect.

• Answer any questions your parents ask truthfully. If they're curious about your crush's family, don't shy away from sharing what you know.
• It's okay to acknowledge that your crush has imperfections. By doing so, you'll show your parents that you're seeing them as a real person and not just through rose-colored glasses.

Consider sharing a picture, if you'd like. If you have a photo of your crush, sharing it with your parents could be helpful. It gives them a visual idea of who you're talking about, and it might make the conversation feel a bit more real.

• If you're not comfortable sharing a picture or simply don't have one, that's perfectly fine. This step is optional.

Explain why you like your crush. If you feel like it, share what it is about your crush that makes them special to you. This will help your parents understand what makes them stand out.

• If there was a specific moment that made you develop feelings for your crush, you can tell them about it. Maybe you started liking them after you saw them stand up for something important.
• If you don't remember when you first developed feelings, that's okay too! Just tell them what qualities about your crush make them so appealing to you.

Share your crush's accomplishments and school achievements. If your crush has been involved in an impressive school project or excels in a subject like math, let your parents know! This will show them that your crush is just as amazing as you think they are.

Honor your parents' concerns and decisions. Most likely, your parents will be okay with you having a crush. After all, they probably had their own crushes when they were young! However, if they express discomfort about you dating or spending time alone with your crush, it's important to respect their wishes.

• Keep in mind, they're just trying to protect you and aren't trying to be difficult. Don't hide your relationship from them, as that could lead to problems down the line.

• Be courageous! Stay calm and just tell them. It's completely normal to have a crush, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
• If you prefer, you can talk to your parents separately. One of them will likely share the news with the other anyway.