How to Show Affection to Cats

Many people, especially those who aren't fond of cats, tend to think that cats are distant, detached, and uninterested, rather than being lovable. While cats may not express affection as openly as dogs, they still crave attention and will reciprocate affection when they feel comfortable. By understanding their needs, interpreting their behavior, and responding accordingly, you can learn to show love to your cat.

Be Present Around Your Cat. Many dogs show excitement and affection when they receive attention from their owners, often jumping, barking, and wagging their tails in joy. Cats, on the other hand, prefer to control the level and conditions under which they express affection, though sometimes they may want you to initiate it.

• If you're never around, it will be difficult for your cat to show affection. Therefore, whenever possible, try to be present near your cat. Simply sitting in the same room gives them a chance to express their feelings towards you, as well as show signs that they want your attention in return.
• Talk to your cat while spending time together. Even if your cat doesn't understand every word, having a conversation with them creates an opportunity for interaction, and they may respond in their own way.
• If your cat has to be alone for a while, play with them before you leave and provide them with toys or a high perch to watch the outside world. Make sure to spend time playing with them when you return home.

Let Your Cat Accept You. While most cats enjoy their independence, that doesn't mean they prefer to be alone. A cat that wants to include you in its ‘circle’ will look for signs of agreement from you.

• The common action of rubbing against you (often called 'marking')—where cats rub their entire bodies from head to tail—is their way of marking you with their scent. Cats secrete pheromones from glands in their cheeks and use this scent to claim ownership of you. By accepting this marking behavior, you show affection by accepting their feelings for you.

Appreciate Being Loved by Your Cat. Just like humans, cats enjoy giving gifts to those they care about—even if those gifts are a dead mouse placed on your pillow rather than a bouquet of roses. If you're lucky, the gift might just be a toy the cat loves.

• If your cat sleeps on or near you, it’s another sign of affection. Cats, like many animals, are vulnerable when they sleep, so they need to trust you and feel protected before they’ll rest close to you. Even if you don’t love sharing your bed, letting your cat sleep with you can be a way of showing your appreciation and affection for them.

Pay Attention to Trust Signals. Besides sleeping near you, a cat may also express affection by exposing its vulnerable side, like stretching out and exposing its belly to you.

• However, be cautious—many cats may expose their bellies but don’t necessarily want you to pet them there. Watch for signs that your cat is interested in a belly rub, or gently stroke their belly to see if they react by scratching or biting.
• Remember, sometimes the best way to show affection is to let your cat express affection towards you and accept it gracefully.

Be the One to Take Initiative When Necessary. Although many cats are open with their affection, some are more indifferent because they want you to take the first step—at least initially, or at least find the right way for them to show their feelings. Some cats expect you to initiate the attention.

• Appearing too large or imposing can scare a cat; it’s a posture predators adopt before an attack. Instead, crouch down to the cat’s level. You can sit or kneel so the cat can face you directly. When petting your cat, avoid reaching down from above (which may resemble a predator swooping in), and instead, approach from the side or below, slowly raising your hand toward the cat’s body.
• Don’t chase a frightened cat. Many cats will approach you more easily if you ignore them. When they come closer, let them sniff you before touching them. If your cat’s ears flatten back, it means they’re not enjoying what you’re doing, so stop and try something else they might like.
• Always allow your cat to sniff your hand first. If the cat walks away, don’t try to pet them. If they rub against your hand, they’re ready for a petting session.

Recognize the Signs of Affection. Some cats love being petted, some tolerate it, and others absolutely hate it. The best way to figure out what your cat likes is to gently stroke them in 'safe' spots like their back and watch their reactions. For example, purring is a great sign. But too much petting in spots the cat doesn’t enjoy can make them tense and might not feel affectionate.

• You can encourage ‘marking’ behavior by holding your finger at cat’s eye level, at a short distance or even across the room. Most cats will interpret this as an invitation to rub their face against you and mark you.
• A ‘cat kiss’—slowly blinking or half-closing your eyes—is a clear sign of affection from your cat, and it's easy for you to respond in kind. You can also try doing it first and wait for your cat to respond.

Playing with your cat. Just like with any other friend, sharing quality time together and having fun is a clear sign of affection. Cats love to play; find out what activities your cat enjoys the most and make time to play together every day.

• Most cats enjoy chasing games, so toys like fake mice or crumpled paper can become a fun activity. A ping pong ball on a string or a laser pointer (just don’t shine it in your cat’s eyes) can also be great ways to engage your cat in playful exercises.
• Cats love climbing and scratching, so consider getting a scratching post for your cat, with toys or targets at the top for added challenge. Many cats also enjoy hiding in things like cardboard boxes and pouncing on toys from inside.
• Play in short bursts, with multiple sessions throughout the day. Don’t force your cat to play or train if they’re not interested, as this can quickly make playtime less enjoyable. Cats also tend to get bored easily, so mix up the games and styles of play. Always watch your cat’s reactions—no two cats enjoy the same games.
• Spending time playing not only prevents injury risks, like swallowing things such as string, but also helps train your cat and strengthens the bond between you and your furry friend.
• Catnip is completely safe for cats and they love it!

Properly feeding your cat. If it’s often said that the fastest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, the same can be said for showing love (and receiving it) from your cat.

• It’s best to consult with your vet about your cat’s nutritional needs, but in general, most cats require 3 to 4 small meals a day, ideally consisting of high-quality cat food. Some human foods are safe for cats, but others aren’t, so always check with your vet first.
• Give your cat treats responsibly. Don’t offer so many high-calorie snacks that your cat’s regular meals have to be reduced to balance it out.
• Don’t give your cat milk. Cats can’t digest cow’s milk, and instead, provide fresh water for them (make sure their water bowl is filled at all times, 24/7).

Give your cat its own space. While cats are often friendlier than people think, they still enjoy having private spots to retreat to.

• Even if your cat enjoys sleeping on you or beside you, provide a comfortable, quiet, and private resting place. Old blankets, sheets, or pillows (as long as they’re clean) can make a perfect spot for your cat.
• Likewise, your cat’s litter box should be placed in an accessible but quiet spot, and it should be cleaned daily. If you have more than one cat, be sure to get additional litter boxes (three for two cats, for example) to prevent disputes over territory.

Take your cat for regular check-ups. Your cat may not view this as an act of affection in the moment, but in the long run, what could be more loving than doing everything you can to ensure your cat lives a long, healthy, and happy life?

• The recommended care for your cat may vary based on factors such as age, health status, and your vet’s preferences, but general advice suggests a check-up once or twice a year.
• From the time your cat is a kitten, make sure they receive all necessary vaccinations.
• Read up on cat care articles to learn more about health care and warning signs of illness in cats.

Grooming your cat. Cats are very skilled at keeping themselves clean and grooming their own bodies. However, your proper assistance can be quite helpful and, at least occasionally, appreciated by your cat.

• Most cats will allow you to groom them gently with the right tools. Use a rounded comb for long-haired cats and a bristle brush for short-haired ones. Regular brushing helps prevent mats and tangles. There are special combs and tools designed for sensitive areas like around the eyes.
• Grooming is also a great opportunity to check for fleas and ticks.
• Although it’s not as commonly emphasized, brushing your cat’s teeth or taking them to the vet for dental cleaning is a good practice. There are many resources on Cat Care that include information about feline dental hygiene.

• While cats may enjoy playing with rubber bands or hair ties, they can swallow them, which is very dangerous. Keep these items away from your cat.
• Always supervise your cat when they’re playing with toys that have strings or similar parts. If swallowed, they can cause serious damage to your cat’s intestines. If your cat has swallowed something, do not attempt to pull it out of their mouth.
• Don’t provoke your cat. If they start showing their teeth, hissing, or flicking their tail rapidly, back off and adjust your approach. You might want to try something less threatening to your cat.