How to Show Care for Your Boyfriend When He's Feeling Down

When your boyfriend is feeling down and having a rough day, it can leave him feeling exhausted. Although it may be tough, it's important for you to be there to offer help and encouragement. By letting him know that you're always by his side and offering comfort, you'll help him realize how much happiness you bring to his life.

Listen when he wants to talk. If your boyfriend seems upset, you can help by providing an opportunity for him to open up. Talking through his feelings may make him feel better or help him find a solution.

• You might say, “Hey, love, it seems like you’re feeling down. Do you want to talk about it?”
• If he wants to share, be a good listener. Don’t interrupt or rush him to solve the problem. Just listen attentively.

Acknowledge his feelings. One of the most valuable things you can do for your boyfriend is to show that you understand or sympathize with what's going on in his life. Acknowledging his emotions means letting him know that it's okay to feel the way he does, and you are capable of understanding.

• First, allow him to express how he's feeling. Listen for phrases like “I don’t know what to do” or “I’m really frustrated.”
• Then, acknowledge his feelings by saying something like, “I’m really sorry this is happening. I understand that you’re feeling lost” or “I really get why you’re so upset.”

Be empathetic if he remains silent. Even if your boyfriend is usually vocal, he may not want to discuss his feelings or situation right away. Encourage him to open up, but if he's not ready, don’t pressure him.

• For instance, if you ask, “Do you want to talk about it?” and he responds with “No,” then you could say, “Okay, that’s fine. I’m always here if you need to talk.”
• Don’t keep pushing him to tell you what’s wrong if he’s not ready. Give him time. He will likely open up when he’s ready.

Give him space. Don’t be surprised if your boyfriend asks for some alone time to deal with what's happening. Some people prefer solitude when they're feeling down. Try not to take it personally—just give him a little space to process things.

• For example, if he’s had a fight with his dad, and needs time to think it over, you could say, “I’ll give you some space, but I’ll check in with you later, okay?”
• If your boyfriend doesn’t directly say that he needs space, he might actually appreciate having you by his side.

Encourage him to seek professional help if he can’t overcome his sadness. If your boyfriend has been feeling depressed for a long time, withdrawing from family and friends, or engaging in risky behavior, he might need professional mental health support. Gently suggest he consider therapy.

• For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling down lately. Have you thought about talking to a therapist about it?”
• Let your boyfriend know that you’ll help him find a therapist or even accompany him to an appointment if he needs support.

Hug him. Physical touch is a wonderful way to show your love for your boyfriend. If you both typically hug each other, offer him a hug when he's feeling down. If hugging isn’t something you usually do, it’s best to ask him first.

• If he's feeling low because he didn’t get a promotion at work, you could ask, “Can I give you a hug?”

Kiss him. A kiss is another way to express your affection for him. You can kiss his forehead or cheek to show that you care.

• Only kiss him if this kind of intimacy is typical in your relationship. If not, it’s better to ask if he’s comfortable with it.

Remind him why he’s amazing. If the reason for his mood is negatively affecting his self-confidence, remind him of why you think he’s great. This can help him snap out of his frustration and challenge negative self-criticism.

• For example, if he failed a job interview, you could say, “They couldn’t see your best qualities, but I can. I believe in you.”
• If he lost a friend, you could say, “I know it’s been tough with Dũng because of his lying. I’m proud of you.”
• Tell him why you’re grateful to have him in your life. If he starts feeling better, ask him to share a few things he’s thankful for as well.

Offer a specific suggestion to help. You can ask your boyfriend directly, “How can I help you?” but he might not have a clear request. Instead, you could proactively think of ways to support him based on what you know about his situation.

• For example, if he’s feeling down about his test scores, you could offer to study together for the next exam.
• If he’s overwhelmed with too many weekend tasks, you could help him by taking on household chores or other errands.

Play his favorite song. If you want to help your boyfriend shake off his sadness, play some of his favorite songs. While it may not immediately make him want to dance, it can certainly lift his mood.

• You could even explain the reason behind your choice, like this: “I know you’re feeling down because of your parents' divorce, so I thought I’d play your favorite song to help you feel better.”

Exercise together. Physical activity triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s happiness chemicals, which could help improve your boyfriend’s mood. It’s also a great way to distract him from whatever’s bothering him.

• You might say, “Work has been so stressful for you. How about we go swimming to unwind?” or “Let’s take the dog for a walk and talk it out. What do you think?”
• If your boyfriend is feeling angry, working out can help redirect that negative energy.

Treat him to comforting food. While food may not be the way to a man’s heart, it can definitely improve his mood. Comfort foods activate the pleasure centers of the brain, which can help when feeling stressed, sad, or down.

• If your boyfriend is upset because of a low grade in school, consider cooking or ordering his favorite comfort food. A plate of mac and cheese or pizza might not improve his grades, but it’ll definitely help him feel better for a while.
• Comfort food can be effective from time to time, but use caution with overindulgence. If your boyfriend tends to overeat, try preparing healthier versions of those comfort foods instead.

Crack a light-hearted joke. A smile can dissolve many challenges, so really try to make him laugh. You can tell him a funny joke of your own or send him humorous pictures or videos.

• For instance, you could joke about his situation, like: “Think your work environment is terrible? Check out this hilarious YouTube compilation. I bet it’ll change your mind!”

Watch his favorite TV show or movie. If your boyfriend follows a TV show or movie that makes him laugh, cozy up on the couch and watch it together—especially if it’s a comedy. This show or movie might help him forget his troubles. By the time it’s over, he’ll probably feel better or at least be ready to talk about what’s bothering him.