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Even when you truly care about someone, it can be difficult to express those emotions. There are numerous ways to approach your loved ones and show your appreciation. Speaking kindly, showing genuine interest, and being polite will help you convey how much you value them.
Steps
Communicate with affection
Find different ways to say you care. Saying “I love you” is a common way to show affection and appreciation. However, there are many other direct and specific ways to express your appreciation. This is important because people express and receive love and empathy in different ways. The more you show your appreciation in various forms, the more the recipient will believe that your feelings are genuine. Here are some suggestions:
- “I enjoy spending time with you.”
- “I truly appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
- “You’re one of my best friends.”
Open up to them. Sometimes, showing your appreciation for someone comes through trusting them. Be open and share things with them that you wouldn’t tell anyone else. Allow them to be by your side, and they’ll understand how much you value them.
- For instance, you could tell someone that you truly cherish a childhood story as a personal secret.
Show empathy. The person you appreciate should also feel comfortable confiding in you. Try to show that you care about their life and want to build a sincere emotional bond. Never mock or belittle someone when they open up emotionally, as this will cause them to feel embarrassed and shut themselves off. Being there for them, again and again, will demonstrate that you value them, and they will also appreciate you in return.
- For example, if someone close to you is going through a breakup or divorce, they will need your support. Never belittle the situation or joke around with comments like, “Don’t come to me to cry. Just forget about it and find someone else.” Instead, show empathy and say, “I know you’re going through a tough time. How can I help you feel better?”
Accept their true self. If you truly value someone, you need to accept them for who they are. You can’t force them to change just because you want them to. Trying to do so will make them feel disrespected and abandoned. If you disagree with something they do, think, or say, don’t continue arguing or force them to see things your way. This respect will show them that you appreciate them, even if you disagree on certain issues.
- For example, if you have a political disagreement with a friend, neither of you will change your opinions. Trying to argue will only harm the friendship. Instead, don’t press the issue and avoid talking about it.
Show gratitude. Sometimes, we get so caught up in life that we forget to express our gratitude to friends and family. We take everything in life – and everyone – for granted without questioning why. Think about ways you can show gratitude.
- For example, try thanking someone for something they’ve done, even if it’s a small task. Say, “Thank you for washing the dishes. I really appreciate your help.”
- You could also try keeping a gratitude journal. Write down the things you feel grateful for and share them with your friends and family.
- Say “I love you” or leave a message telling someone how much they mean to you, make you smile, or improve your life.
Compliment them. Acknowledging someone’s best qualities shows that you notice and appreciate those traits. Make sure to compliment them often. Here are some common compliments:
- “You’re amazing.”
- “I think you’re really beautiful.”
- “You’re so kind and thoughtful.”
Use non-verbal communication
Help when they need it. A true way to show appreciation is by always being there to assist someone when they need it. If someone you value asks for your help, do whatever you can to support them. If you know they are going through a tough time, take the initiative to do something kind for them.
- For example, if someone is going through a difficult time, you could cook a meal for them or stop by to help with household chores.
Physical touch. Physical touch demonstrates that you care and value someone. Hugs, hand-holding, and other forms of contact are often appropriate with close friends, family, or partners. Make sure any physical touch you initiate is welcome and never force it upon anyone.
Send a message. While face-to-face conversations are the most effective, many of our daily interactions happen through phones, emails, or text messages to easily stay connected with loved ones. Send a short message to let them know you care.
- Text messages and emails are quick and easy ways to express your appreciation to someone.
- Try texting something like, “I appreciate you” or “I love you.” Send a short email saying, “I miss you” or “I’d really like to see you.”
Make eye contact when talking. When conversing with someone, make sure to focus completely on them. This will make them feel valued and appreciated. Look into their eyes when speaking or listening, and they’ll know you are fully engaged with them.
Act with maturity
Avoid arguments. Arguments can gradually weaken a relationship. Whenever possible, try to avoid getting into disputes. If it’s something trivial, it’s not worth damaging the other person or your relationship over. Choosing your battles wisely will show the genuine appreciation you have for the other person.
- For example, if someone tells you, “Your hair looks messy today,” it might not be worth arguing about.
- However, if someone steals from you, you’ll need to have a direct conversation about boundaries.
Apologize. If you argue, apologize. This shows that you accept part of the blame for the argument and that you value the other person enough to admit when you're wrong. It will effectively convey your respect for them.
Make surprises. Creating a surprise for someone shows that you’ve been thinking about them. It also demonstrates that you understand them well enough to bring something they would enjoy. A surprise gift, meal, or trip will let someone know that you truly appreciate them.
- For example, visiting them with a bag of food from their favorite restaurant or cooking for a friend shows you care.
- People will also feel appreciated if you bring them a small gift when you travel. It shows that they were on your mind.
Be there for the people you appreciate. When someone you care about needs you, make time for them. Sometimes you’ll need to drop what you’re doing, or delay lunch plans during the week. You should always honor your commitments to those you care about, or they’ll start to feel like they don’t matter to you.
- For example, if a friend needs help over the weekend, try to rearrange your schedule and assist them.
Give your full attention to those you care about. When you're with someone special, make sure to give them your undivided attention. Avoid distractions like phones or TVs, and engage in the conversation. Actively listen and show genuine interest in what they have to say.
- For instance, if you’re having lunch with your parents, turn off your phone on the table.
- Use the power of touch. If the person is a close friend or family member, give them a gentle pat on the back, a hug, or a kiss on the cheek. For a romantic partner, try rubbing their back, cuddling on the couch, or sharing a kiss.
