Buzz
Understanding and managing interactions with egotistical individuals
Do you frequently encounter individuals who are overly self-centered, impolite, or blatantly arrogant? Perhaps you're trying to determine if someone exhibits arrogance, or you’re concerned that you might display some arrogant tendencies. We’ve got you covered! We consulted licensed mental health experts Kelli Miller and Tala Johartchi to uncover the traits of an arrogant person and provide strategies for handling them—even if that person happens to be you.
Identifying an Arrogant Individual
Arrogant individuals frequently center conversations around themselves, steering discussions to focus on their achievements or opinions. They often manipulate situations to maintain control and may display condescending attitudes toward others. Underneath their confidence lies deep-seated insecurity, which can lead to defensiveness when challenged.
Steps
Indicators of an Arrogant Individual
They dominate conversations by making everything about themselves. Observe their interactions closely. Do they consistently steer discussions toward their own experiences or achievements? Do they become visibly annoyed when the spotlight shifts to someone else? Arrogant individuals thrive on being the focal point and will manipulate conversations to ensure they remain the center of attention.
- Frequently, an arrogant person will attempt to outdo others’ stories or assert their superiority, even in non-competitive situations.
- They may also discuss topics they know little about, simply to keep the conversation revolving around them.
They react negatively to challenges or differing opinions. Gently question their perspective with phrases like, “Are you certain?” or, “That doesn’t align with my understanding.” Avoid aggression—maintain a tone of curiosity. While most people are open to reconsidering their views, arrogant individuals are convinced of their infallibility and believe their approach is superior.
- An arrogant person is likely to respond with frustration or anger, whereas others might simply feel bothered.
- As Miller notes, arrogant individuals often become defensive and lack empathy, struggling when reality contradicts their idealized self-image.
They struggle to maintain stable and meaningful friendships. Arrogant individuals often find it difficult to build lasting relationships. Their desire to feel superior and their inability to empathize with others’ perspectives lead to unhealthy and short-lived friendships. If they seem to cycle through friends rapidly, arrogance could be the cause.
- Ironically, arrogant individuals often fail to recognize why they lack loyal friends, as they refuse to acknowledge their own faults.
- Initially, their confidence may attract others, but over time, their true nature becomes apparent, driving people away.
They frequently belittle or dismiss others. Arrogant individuals often feel the need to assert their superiority over others, particularly those with different backgrounds, beliefs, or experiences. They view their own way of life as the only valid one and dismiss anything that doesn’t align with their worldview.
- For instance, they might mock someone’s religious beliefs or disparage their career choices.
- You might inquire among mutual acquaintances to see if they’ve made derogatory remarks about you or others. Such behavior often stems from deep-seated insecurity masked by arrogance.
They exhibit manipulative or overly controlling behavior. Arrogant individuals often prioritize their own status at the expense of others. They may persuade others to act against their own interests or undermine people to make themselves appear superior or heroic. Their actions are often driven by a desire to maintain a flawless image.
- Many arrogant individuals possess a deceptive charm that others fail to see through. However, they readily reveal their harsh side to those they dislike.
- When they act cruelly, their friends often overlook it or refrain from intervening, fearing retaliation from the arrogant person.
They shift blame for their errors onto others. Arrogant people despise being wrong, as it shatters their illusion of perfection. When they make a mistake, they often deflect responsibility onto someone else to avoid tarnishing their image.
- Alternatively, they may downplay the mistake or convince others it wasn’t significant.
They offer advice without being asked. Arrogant individuals enjoy positioning themselves as experts, even in areas where they lack experience. They frequently provide unsolicited tips or instructions to appear knowledgeable.
- This is particularly frustrating when they suggest something you’re already doing, as if to validate their own correctness.
They lack humility in all situations. While most people practice humility when achieving success or receiving accolades, arrogant individuals reject modesty. They refuse to accept defeat or admit fault, and when they succeed, they act as though their victory was predestined.
They often appear cold or indifferent. Arrogant individuals strive to project an image of being “too cool to care.” For instance, if you express enthusiasm for a book or movie, they may dismiss it to avoid seeming overly passionate or sincere. This detachment hinders their ability to form genuine connections or empathize with others.
- It also reflects their lack of investment in others’ lives, as they fear appearing too emotionally involved.
They believe they are entitled to more than others. Arrogant individuals often feel they should bypass lines, receive larger shares, or earn higher compensation than everyone else. They consider themselves superior and believe ordinary rules don’t apply to them, constantly seeking preferential treatment. When denied special privileges, they react with shock or indignation.
Handling Arrogant Individuals
Establish firm boundaries and refuse to accept mistreatment. According to Johartchi, many arrogant people lack self-awareness, making it essential to set clear limits. Strong boundaries safeguard your self-respect and signal to the arrogant person that disrespect won’t be tolerated.
- For instance, if they belittle or insult you, calmly walk away or state, “I won’t engage with you until you treat me as an equal.”
- If they insist on micromanaging, respond with, “I’m capable of handling my responsibilities. If you have concerns, address them with the appropriate authority.”
Remain unimpressed or dismissive when they brag. While it’s easy to get caught up in an arrogant person’s self-aggrandizing stories, resist the urge to indulge them. Avoid excessive praise, as it only fuels their need for validation.
- Instead, offer a polite response like, “That’s wonderful! I’m glad for you,” and then steer the conversation elsewhere.
Facilitate balanced conversations in group settings. Arrogant individuals thrive on being the focal point, often monopolizing discussions with their achievements. In group settings, ensure others are included by asking targeted questions and redirecting attention when necessary.
- If they interrupt or attempt to dominate, interject with, “Hold on, I’d like to hear more from Jane. Her point was particularly intriguing.”
Celebrate your own achievements. Arrogant individuals often belittle others to maintain their superiority, and you might be their target. Safeguard your self-worth by recognizing the value of your ideas and accomplishments, and take pride in them.
- If an arrogant person dismisses your achievements, it likely indicates they feel threatened, which should make you even prouder of your success.
Show compassion, even toward arrogant individuals. Miller advises against judging arrogant people, as it can lead to a similarly negative mindset. Arrogance often masks insecurities and fears, stemming from deep-seated pain. Remain patient and remember that arrogant individuals are human, too.
- Consider offering genuine praise for their real accomplishments or good deeds. Sometimes, they need reassurance that they don’t need to boast to gain recognition.
- Arrogant people may have underlying issues, such as personality disorders or past trauma. While it’s not your responsibility to fix these, maintaining civility and empathy is important.
Addressing Your Own Arrogance
Engage in active listening. Arrogant individuals often fail to truly listen to others or appreciate their perspectives. Active listening can help you genuinely understand others without interrupting or dismissing them.
- Maintain eye contact and focus fully on the speaker.
- Ask clarifying questions and paraphrase their points to ensure comprehension.
- Share your thoughts only after they’ve finished speaking.
Be open to new viewpoints. Arrogant people often struggle with criticism and empathy. Broaden your perspective by engaging with diverse individuals. When someone offers advice or acts in a way you don’t understand, pause before reacting:
- Consider whether their intent was to harm or help you.
- Remember that your way of doing things isn’t necessarily the best or only way.
Acknowledge others’ achievements and remain humble. Arrogant individuals often downplay or disregard others’ successes due to their own insecurities. When someone you know accomplishes something, avoid criticizing or undermining them. Instead, express genuine happiness for their success. You can also practice humility by seeking their advice or guidance.
- Another way to demonstrate humility is to credit others for their support when celebrating your own achievements.
- For instance, if you’re recounting a story about winning an award, you might say, “I owe a lot to my friend who encouraged me every step of the way.”
-
An assertive or anxious individual will pay attention to your reactions and even seek your input, whereas an arrogant person will disregard your needs and perspectives entirely, continuing to show no respect for your viewpoint.
-
If an arrogant person is causing issues at school or work, escalate the matter to a teacher or supervisor—someone with the authority to address their behavior or limit your interactions with them.
-
Avoid excessively venting about the arrogant person to others. Rumors spread, and it could lead to complications for you.
The guidance in this section is drawn from the real-life experiences of Mytour readers like you. If you have a useful tip to share on Mytour, please submit it in the field below.
- Consider affirming that the problematic behavior they’re engaging in is correct and morally justified, such as, "You’re absolutely right to mock this person’s struggles." Framing it this way might help them recognize their own wrongdoing.
- Mocking or ridiculing an arrogant person is counterproductive. They are often their own harshest critics, and teasing them will only exacerbate their behavior.
- Keep in mind that arrogant individuals are never as flawless or impressive as they pretend to be, so there’s no need to envy them.
