Buzz
If there's a guy at school who's always on your mind, you might be dealing with a crush. It's one thing to fantasize about him, but actually going up to him and starting a conversation can feel pretty intimidating (especially if you don’t know him very well). Luckily, there are several ways to approach him without feeling too self-conscious or shy. Keep reading for some tips on how to strike up a conversation with the guy you like and learn more about him in the process.
Steps
Discover his interests.
If you're not very familiar with him, begin by gathering some background information. You can ask your friends (or his friends) about his hobbies, whether he participates in the school play, what his favorite subject is, or which TV shows he enjoys. You don't need to know everything about him, but try to find out one or two things you can use to start a conversation.
- If you have any classes with him or see him around school, you might also pick up on his interests. For example, if he's wearing basketball shorts and sneakers, there's a good chance he's into basketball.
Flash a smile and make eye contact with him.
Give him a hint that you’d like to start a conversation. When you spot him in the hallways or across the classroom, make eye contact and give him a quick smile before looking away.
- If he’s feeling bold, he might take that as an invitation to come talk to you!
- Reader Poll: We surveyed 1061 Mytour readers, and 60% agreed that the most effective way to catch a guy’s attention at school is by making eye contact and flashing a smile. [Take Poll]
Exude confidence.
It’s normal to feel nervous, but that’s completely fine! If you're feeling shy, try to act confident even if you don’t feel it. Straighten your posture, lift your chin, and keep a friendly smile on your face. The more confident you appear, the easier it will be to start a conversation with that cute guy.
- If you're feeling a bit awkward, wait until he's alone. Approaching someone one-on-one is much simpler than trying to talk to them in front of a group.
Introduce yourself.
It’s a great way to begin if you're not familiar with each other. If you've only noticed him around school, simply approach and greet him. After that, introduce yourself to break the ice.
- Say something like, “Hey, I’m Alyssa. What’s your name?”
- If you already know each other but haven’t spoken in a while, try saying, “Hey, I’m Brad. Remember me? We were in kindergarten together.”
Inquire about something you both enjoy.
Maybe you share some classes or mutual friends. Or perhaps you both participate in sports after school. Discussing something you both care about is an excellent way to keep the conversation going, and it makes it easier to connect. Try asking:
- “That math test last week was tough. How did you do?”
- “Do you play soccer too? I’ve seen you on the field a few times.”
- “Have you started the science homework yet?”
Give him a genuine compliment.
Everyone loves receiving compliments! While you’re chatting, sprinkle in a few nice words to show that you're interested in him. You could comment on how great he looks today, how stylish his outfit is, or even his intelligence. Try saying:
- “That sweater is awesome. Is it vintage?”
- “You totally nailed that debate in class yesterday. It’s like you’ve been practicing!”
- “I wish I could rock curly hair like you. It looks amazing.”
Ask if he wants to hang out later.
This is a laid-back way to ask him out without making it too serious. You can casually ask if he has plans later today, or suggest a time for later in the week. No need to call it a date if you don’t want to. You could say something like:
- “I was thinking of watching the football game after school today. Want to join me?”
- “Got anything going on next week? It would be fun to check out the new bowling alley.”
Give him your phone number.
If you want to keep things light, this is a great choice. Tell him you have to head to class, but that you'd like to continue talking. He can text you, and you two can arrange to hang out later.
- You could say, “I’ve got to run to class, but I’d love to keep chatting. How about I give you my number?”
- Or, “Let me give you my number so we can text later.”
Invite him to a school dance.
This is a great way to let him know you're interested. If there's a dance coming up, casually ask him if he has a date. If he doesn’t, see if he'd like to go with you! You could say something like:
- “Homecoming’s coming up soon. Are you going with anyone?”
- “I was planning to go to the winter dance, but I don’t have a date. How about you?”
If you're nervous, follow him on social media.
It can feel intimidating to approach a guy face to face. If you’re shy or struggling to gather the courage to talk to him, try following him on platforms like Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. You can send him a direct message to start a conversation, then chat with him in person when you feel more comfortable.
- For instance, you could send a message like, “Hey, don’t we have English class together?” or, “You’re on the football team, right? Good luck tonight!”
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If you’re feeling really nervous, consider bringing a friend along when you approach the guy. They can help ease the tension and make it easier to start talking.
