Buzz
Whether you're into dating apps or just noticed a cute guy on Instagram, reaching out online is an easy way to spark a chat. A great opener can turn a passing glance into an actual connection—choose wisely! Check out these message ideas to help you break the ice and see where things lead.
Steps
Reference something from his profile.
Make your message stand out by tailoring it to him. Before typing that first line, scan his profile to find clues about his interests. If he’s got a bunch of hiking pics, ask him about a trail he recently loved. Into food? See if he has any go-to restaurant picks in the area.
- Try something like, “Looks like you’re into hiking! Been on any cool trails lately?”
- Or, “Total foodie vibes! Have you checked out that new Mexican spot downtown?”
- Reader Poll: In a recent poll of 322 Mytour readers, 49% said their go-to move is commenting on something from a guy’s profile, like his pics, prompts, or bio. [Take Poll]
Pay him a compliment.
Everyone loves a sincere compliment, and he’s no exception. If something about his profile stands out to you, let him know. Whether it's his appearance, interests, or vibe, a kind word goes a long way. For example:
- “Your smile is seriously contagious!”
- “You look super fit—are you into working out?”
Get his take on a new show to watch.
Strike up a chat by asking for entertainment tips. Ask him to share a TV series or movie he recommends. It’s a great way to learn about his interests and shows that you value his suggestions. Try something like:
- “I need a binge-worthy series—what should I watch?”
- “What’s one movie you think everyone should see?”
Throw in a fun “This or that?” question.
Turn things playful with a quick game of choices. Ask him to pick between two things—whether it’s food, cities, animals, or celebs. It’s a fun way to show off your personality and spark some lighthearted banter. You could try:
- “Pizza or burgers?”
- “Chicago or New York?”
- “Cats or dogs?”
Bring up something you both enjoy.
Scroll through his profile to spot a shared interest. If you find something you both love, dive into it—that common ground can really get the convo flowing. Just be honest; only bring it up if it’s true. For instance:
- “No way, you went to Portland State too? I just graduated!”
- “That’s wild—I moved here from Alaska recently as well. What are the odds?”
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Start QuizBrowse More QuizzesBreak the ice with a corny pickup line.
Guys rarely get cheesy pickup lines thrown their way. Lighten the mood and get him smiling with a hilariously over-the-top opener. Bonus points if he plays along and sends one back. Try one of these:
- “Why is someone this hot still single?”
- “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
- “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I side by side.”
Pose a fun “would you rather” question.
Break the ice with a playful, what-if scenario. Choose something absurd or unexpected and ask what he’d pick. It’s a great way to spark a flirty back-and-forth if you don’t agree.
- For example: “Would you rather take on 10 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?”
- Or: “Would you rather eat beans for every meal or chug a gallon of milk every single day?”
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Start the QuizExplore More QuizzesShare a cringe-worthy memory.
Get him to spill the beans on his awkward moments—then share yours. It’s a great way to laugh together and drop those first-message nerves. To keep it light, ask about something from back in the day.
- Try this: “What’s the most awkward thing that ever happened to you in high school?”
Use a gif to kick things off.
Go with something funny to grab his attention. Browse through your gif collection and send one that’s playful and a little flirty. If he’s into it, he’ll likely hit you back with one of his own.
- Think something like a “How you doin’?” gif or one that says “Hey cutie” to set a fun tone.
Ask something a little more meaningful.
Keep things casual, but give him room to share a bit about himself. A thoughtful question can help turn a small chat into something more substantial. If he's into it, he’ll probably bounce the question back to you.
- Example: “What’s something that always makes you smile?”
- Or: “What’s one thing you’re secretly afraid of?”
Give him a heads-up that the flirting’s coming.
Start strong with this daring line. If you’re really into him and want to skip the fluff, just go ahead and let him know he’s about to be flirted with. He’ll likely appreciate the directness and find it endearing!
- Try saying, “Watch out, I’m about to send a flirtatious message!”
- Or, “Please don’t judge me, but here comes some flirting.”
Invite him out on a date.
Cut to the chase and ask him out. If you’re not into lengthy chats and you’re both on a dating app to meet someone, don’t hesitate to take the next step and ask him out. Try something like:
- “So, when are we grabbing that drink?”
- “If you’re down for a FaceTime date, just send me your availability.”
EXPERT TIP
John Keegan
Relationship Expert
Relationship Expert
Face-to-face interactions are essential for thriving relationships. Although online conversations are helpful, relying solely on texts and DMs can hinder your ability to build strong in-person communication skills. It’s a good idea to move from an online chat to an actual date as soon as possible!
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Respond quickly to keep the momentum of the conversation alive.
