How to start a conversation with a stranger

Talking to a stranger can be nerve-wracking, but it can also be an exciting experience when you engage with someone you don't know. Whether you're open to making new friends or simply wish to chat with those around you, begin by discussing an interesting topic and let the conversation grow from there. You can try striking up conversations in different situations to meet more people. With practice, you’ll quickly become more confident in conversing with strangers!

Make eye contact before approaching someone. Eye contact shows interest and creates a connection. If the person looks back at you, this is a good sign to initiate the conversation. Smile sincerely and move toward them. If they look away or seem uninterested, try making eye contact with someone else.

• Look into their eyes, but avoid glancing away too quickly or staring intensely. Maintain eye contact for no more than 2 seconds.

Understand the body language of others. When approaching someone, avoid crossing your arms or legs, and make sure you're not distracted by other things (or people). Once you start talking, observe whether the person leans in and actively engages in the conversation. Keep an eye on their body language throughout the exchange.

• You might realize that you have been so focused on your own feelings and trying to impress that you overlook the signals the other person is giving. It's important to shift your focus and start noticing their expressions to see if they feel comfortable.

Casual conversation is key if you want the conversation to flow smoothly. Jumping straight into very personal or probing questions can make the other person uncomfortable. Instead, begin with light, casual topics. Talk about the weather, ask about their weekend plans (or upcoming weekend), and show genuine interest in their responses. Simple comments can lead to a great casual conversation.

• For example, you could say, “I didn’t expect it to rain this much! At this rate, I might need to buy an umbrella!”

Ask open-ended questions to learn more about the person. Whether you're chatting with a stranger at a clinic, a cashier at a grocery store, or a charming fellow passenger on a plane, one of the best ways to start a conversation is by asking open-ended questions. You want to get to know them, but avoid personal questions. Stick to neutral, easy topics.

• For instance, when talking to a grocery store clerk, you might ask, “Have you tried this product? Do you think it’s any good?”

Compliment them if you admire something about them. Most people enjoy receiving compliments, so it's a great way to break the ice. Pay attention to something you like about the person and give them a genuine compliment. Compliments can make people feel happy and more willing to engage in conversation.

• You could say, “I really like your handbag. It matches your outfit perfectly.”
• If you want to flirt a bit, you might comment on their eyes, smile, or hair. For example, “You have a really beautiful smile” or “I love the color of your hair.”

Share a little about yourself to make the other person feel at ease. Avoid going into too much detail about your ex or a boring workday. Instead, share something light about yourself to start the conversation. Talking about yourself shows you're open and helps encourage the other person to do the same.

• For example, you might say, “I just adopted a puppy today, so I’m really excited! Do you have any pets?”

Find something familiar to connect with. One of the quickest ways to bond with someone is by discovering a shared interest. You might notice something right away (for example, they’re wearing a hat from the school you attended) or you could ask about their hobbies if you spot boxing gloves or a gym bag. Use your own experiences to start the conversation.

• For instance, you could say, “I really like your bike! I have one just like it. What year is yours?”
• Or, you might say, “How old is your dog? I have a dog at home too – they’re always full of energy!”

Walk away if your efforts aren’t working. Some strangers will be happy to chat, while others may not be as open. If someone clearly shows they’re not interested, avoids you, or responds curtly, it might be best to move on. Instead, try striking up a conversation with someone else.

• You can thank them for their time and walk away politely.

Try to integrate with others to see where you feel most comfortable. Most people at social events are there to have fun. You'll have plenty of opportunities to chat with others who are generally open to talking. Take the time to mingle and find someone you'd like to engage with one-on-one.

• You’ll easily find various opportunities to communicate. Start a conversation with someone who notices you and makes you feel comfortable.

Ask the event organizer or a mutual friend to introduce you to others. Having a mutual friend can help you feel more confident at a party or event. If you know someone there, ask them to introduce you to a stranger and share some information about them. This can help break the initial awkwardness and make it easier to approach others. You could also ask the person how they know your mutual friend.

• For example, the mutual friend might say, “Lan, this is Hương. You both love mountain biking, so I thought you should meet.”

Ask questions related to the event. The event itself provides a great starting point for conversations. Ask someone how they found out about the event and if they know anyone there. You could also ask event-related questions like, “Do you know what time the event starts?” or “When will the speaker appear? This is my first time here.”

• Approach someone and ask, “How did you hear about this party?” or “It’s not easy to get invited here. Who do you know here?”

Stand near the food and drink station. The reason people gather to eat is that food naturally brings people together. If you're at a social event and want to talk to someone, start by approaching them near the food station or ask to sit (or stand) close to them as you both enjoy the food. It’s easy to comment on the food and begin a conversation on that topic. You could ask someone if they want a drink and bring it to them or stand nearby and start chatting about the food.

• For example, you might say, “I really like this drink. What do you think about it?”
• Or you could say, “Wow, have you tried the bread? I think you should. What do you think they’ve used for the seasoning?”

Join the activity others are doing. If you notice a few people starting a game or engaging in an activity, ask to join in. Joining a smaller group can help you feel more at ease and make it easier to have a conversation with someone.

• For example, if people are watching TV or a video, join them. Then you can ask one person, “What TV shows do you usually watch?” and find common ground for conversation.

Chủ động giúp đỡ. Nếu ai đó dường như đang lạc đường và bạn biết rõ khu vực đó, hãy chủ động chỉ đường cho họ. Giúp đỡ người khác không chỉ là một việc tử tế mà nó còn có thể mở ra cơ hội để trò chuyện. Có lẽ bạn và người đó đi cùng đường và có thể đi bộ cùng nhau.

• Dù ai đó đang bị lạc hoặc cần bạn xách giúp những món hàng tạp hóa, hãy sẵn sàng giúp đỡ họ. Việc này có thể tạo ra cơ hội để làm quen với bạn mới.

Hỏi xem họ từ đâu đến. Nếu bạn sống ở một thành phố lớn hoặc nơi nào đó có nhiều du khách, một cách tuyệt vời để bắt chuyện là hãy hỏi xem họ từ đâu đến. Biết về câu chuyện của một người nào đó đến để định cư hoặc đi du lịch luôn là một việc thú vị và là một ý hay để bạn có thể bắt đầu trò chuyện.

• Chẳng hạn, nếu bạn đang ở một buổi hoà nhạc, hãy hỏi người bên cạnh xem họ từ đâu đến. Có thể họ đã đi một quãng đường dài để đến đó hoặc họ tình cờ có mặt ở đó.

Sử dụng sự hài hước để làm cho họ cười. Sự hài hước là một trong những cách dễ dàng nhất để kết nối với mọi người, nhất là với những người lạ. Người ta có xu hướng cảm thấy thoải mái và dễ chịu hơn khi họ cười. Hãy chỉ ra điều gì đó thú vị xảy ra xung quanh bạn và chia sẻ trải nghiệm với một người nào đó mà bạn chưa quen biết.

• Nói một câu nói đùa, một lời bình luận, hoặc chỉ cho họ điều gì đó thú vị mà bạn đã phát hiện.

Tham gia một hoạt động. Nếu bạn đang ở một nơi công cộng có nhiều người, hãy tham gia vào một hoạt động hoặc gia nhập với với một nhóm người. Chẳng hạn, nếu có một nhóm đang đánh trống, hãy tham gia và cùng nhau chơi nhạc. Nếu bạn gặp một người biểu diễn trên đường phố, hãy dừng lại và xem cùng với những người khác. Không chỉ đây là một trải nghiệm thú vị, mà nó còn giúp bạn và những người xem đến gần nhau hơn. Hãy bắt đầu nói chuyện về trải nghiệm chung đó.

• Tham dự những buổi hoà nhạc và lễ hội miễn phí. Hãy tìm hiểu các sự kiện diễn ra trong cộng đồng và có mặt ở đó nhằm gặp gỡ mọi người.

Comment on something work-related. When meeting someone in a professional setting, start by discussing work or professional topics. Avoid getting too personal at first, as it could make you seem unprofessional, especially in a work environment. Stick to topics related to the job and anything familiar to you.

• For example, you could say, “We’re working on the same project. Hi, I’m Nam.”

Offer positive feedback about someone. If you notice someone working effectively, compliment them. If you agree with someone, feel free to express it. If you're at a meeting, talk to them afterward to show your agreement or discuss the topic further.

• For instance, you might say, “I really appreciated your presentation. I often get bored, but yours was interesting and informative. Where did you find the video sources?”

Avoid unprofessional topics that might make the other person uncomfortable. Some topics are considered inappropriate or uncomfortable, especially when talking to a stranger in a professional setting. For example, avoid commenting on a woman's pregnancy. Stay away from political, religious, or appearance-related topics (including weight) or sharing too much personal information (e.g., recent divorce or family death). Keep the conversation neutral and avoid debating.

• Choose neutral topics such as work-related events, conferences, or mutual acquaintances.